Your Focus Should Be On You
Focus on yourself.
Focus on your goals.
Focus on mindfulness.
Focus on prioritization.
Focus on loving yourself.
Focus on your happiness.
Focus on being at peace with you.
I’ve learned over the years that the most important thing I can do for myself is to focus on me. It sounds simple, but it’s a lesson that took me a long time to really understand and put into practice. There was a time when I let the actions of toxic people, especially those who tried to smear my name online, take over my thoughts and emotions.
I used to get so caught up in what they were doing, desperately wanting to control the narrative or make them see reason. But the truth is, I can’t control anyone else’s behaviour—not even when it directly affects my life and reputation. What I can control, though, is how I respond and where I choose to put my energy.
I remember the turning point clearly. Instead of constantly asking myself, “Why is this happening to me?” I started to shift my mindset. I began to ask, “What can I learn from this?” That one change in perspective made all the difference.
I dove into learning about narcissism and toxic behaviours—things like gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, and that endless word salad that always left me feeling confused and doubting myself. Understanding these patterns didn’t just help me make sense of what was happening; it also gave me the tools to protect myself from further harm.
Once I realized what I was dealing with, I knew I had to turn my attention inward. I started prioritizing my own mental health and well-being. Therapy became a lifeline for me, helping me sort through the mess and find clarity. I learned about mindfulness and how to ground myself in the present moment, instead of spiralling into anxiety about things I couldn’t change. I spent time figuring out what I wanted my life to look like, and I started taking small steps to make that vision a reality.
Loving myself wasn’t easy at first, especially after so much emotional turmoil. But I kept at it, reminding myself that my happiness and peace are worth fighting for. I stopped seeking validation from people who never had my best interests at heart. Instead, I focused on nurturing the parts of myself that had been neglected for so long. Every day, I make a conscious effort to choose peace, to choose happiness, and to prioritize my own needs without guilt.
This journey hasn’t been perfect, and I still have days when old doubts creep in. But I keep coming back to this truth: my focus should be on me. When I put myself first, everything else starts to fall into place.
I’ve learned to celebrate my progress, no matter how small, and to trust that I have the strength to keep moving forward. My story is one of resilience, and I hope that by sharing it, I can encourage others to focus on themselves, too.
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