As I reflect on this Timeline, despite enduring serious dangers and trauma in my job over the years—such as physical assaults from tenants, being shot at by tenants, car theft by tenants, and dealing with tenant suicides—none of those experiences damaged my mental health as much as being falsely accused of racism and attacked online, also by tenants. Weird, hey?
I completed this Timeline for my local Police when I went to them in July 2021. While no criminal charges came from my complaint, my Story was shared with my local Police, the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary (RNC), and it also got to the attention of the Niagara Regional Police Service (NPRS) and their Cyber Crime Unit. They did visit the bullies, but I have no idea what was said. As a result of this, most of the content didn’t get back online in their new addition of stellareddy.com.
Once I shared this with the Police, it was then that I really started to heal. Being vulnerable as I was in this document, it started the release of all the toxic shame I felt for so long. I came to accept that this was done to me, I didn’t do this to myself, so I had nothing to be ashamed of.
The Police Officers I met and spoke to, here and in Ontario, showed me empathy and listened to what I had to say. It was a big relief to be honest. Yep, there was real fear that the Police would turn on me, but I had to try. The Summer of 2021 was my exposure therapy days! I did so many things that summer to get rid of my fear of social interactions.
These false allegations and related online harassment severely impacted my mental health, causing persistent fear, loss of trust in people, and estrangement from friends and family who also feared being targeted online. I had doubts about ever recovering my previous sense of safety or trust. I am not the same person I was; toxic narcissistic abuse changes you, but I have managed to heal and regulate my nervous system once again.
In this document, I redacted all the names, except for my own. I think it is an important part of my Story that needs to be shared. I am very honest in this text, and at times still very emotional. I opened myself up and shared everything, including my confusion over it all.