As the poster states:
It’s the psychological violence you endured that has you so traumatized: it’s not about the narc as a person – it’s about the abuse he or she perpetuated. The narcissist is pretty much a nobody.
Regarding personal growth and resilience, few challenges are as daunting as facing a prolonged smear campaign created by a toxic narcissist. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but also one of the most enlightening. For eight years, I found myself at the center of a relentless storm of negativity, orchestrated by individuals I once considered tenants from my last workplace who I found out were very toxic.
This campaign, which included doxxing me on 7 websites, was designed to tarnish my reputation and shake my foundation. However, as I stand here today, I realize that these toxic people have become obsolete, their actions serving only to provide invaluable life lessons. They led me to get an education on the many toxic traits I was seeing, including my own. So I thank this situation for helping me become a better person!
The Journey Through
When the smear campaign began, I was unprepared for the depth of malice that these Tenants could harbour. The anonymous posts, the carefully crafted lies, and the constant fear of what new attack might surface next became a daily reality since June 2018. The personally titled domain they created was a particularly insidious tool. It is easy to see that the anonymous author leaves so much out of context in their narratives.
As time passed, the weight of their actions bore down on me. I questioned everything: my relationships, my choices, and even my own character. The doxxing left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, as though my private life had been laid bare for all to judge. It was a dark period, filled with anxiety and self-doubt. I am so grateful all that is finally over!
The Turning Point
However, as the saying goes, “Time reveals all truths.” Slowly but surely, the tide began to turn after I moved from Scarborough Ontario to St. John’s Newfoundland and Labrador in the Fall of 2020. People started to see through their façade of anonymity, and the true nature of my attackers came to light. More importantly, I began to see the true nature of their antics. Therapy was also very helpful during this time!
Even local police became involved, adding a layer of accountability that my tormentors had not anticipated. They thought I would feel too much “shame” over the situation to complain to the authorities… While nothing criminal came from my report to the Police in July 2021, I felt safer as a result and I know the Police went to see them in 2021 and again last year in March 2024 after they reposted stellareddy.com.
It was during this period of revelation in 2021 that I began to shift my perspective. Instead of viewing myself as a victim, I chose to see this experience as an opportunity for growth. I realized that by enduring this campaign, I had inadvertently been given a masterclass in human nature, resilience, and the power of truth.
Lessons Learned
1. The Power of Patience
Toward the end of this ordeal in early 2020, patience proved to be my greatest ally. While the smear campaign raged on, I learned to bide my time, knowing that eventually, the truth would prevail. Even the new website of lorriereddy.com containing my new FaceBook page did nothing for the 2 years it was online. This patience helped me maintain my sanity. I learned that nothing lasts forever and eventually, it would all end!
2. The Strength in Vulnerability
Counterintuitively, I discovered that there was immense strength in vulnerability. By being open about my experiences online on my own website (also in my name) I not only received support but also helped others who might be going through similar situations. (Thank you, Brene Brown!)
This openness fostered connections and built a network of support that proved invaluable on WordPress and elsewhere. I realized I have a right to my voice and I began to use it!
3. The Importance of Documentation
As the campaign unfolded, I learned the critical importance of documentation. Keeping meticulous records of all interactions, posts, and communications related to the smear campaign and doxxing not only helped me maintain my sanity but also proved crucial when involving law enforcement. I created a Timeline that helped make sense of the mess this situation became.
I kept copies of all domain content, even all the changes made over the years, to every domain they created, including some that I have no association with, to show I am not the only person they went after online in a smear campaign. All websites they made contain similar content and allegations as they want you to think that every person they come into contact with behaves in a racist manner towards them. Of course, they do no wrong!
4. The Resilience of Truth
Perhaps the most profound lesson was witnessing the resilience of truth. Despite the barrage of lies and manipulations, the truth has eventually surfaced. This reinforced my commitment to integrity and honesty, knowing that in the long run, these values would stand the test of time.
Sure, I made mistakes but I learned from them. My biggest mistake was giving these toxic tenants power over my emotions and allowing their antics to affect me. In the beginning, I drove myself nuts trying to defend myself, but I came to see the Legal decisions released were enough to show the truth and I had to stand by that.
About: Stella Reddy’s Story of Cyberbullying – Stella Reddy’s Story of Hope
The conversations I had with the Police in 2021 finally convinced me that all the opinions they write on all their websites show who they are. Not even the police believed what they were writing about me and others! Once I came to accept that in the Spring of 2021, I started to relax.
Moving Forward
As I reflect on this eight-year journey, I realize that the toxic individuals behind the smear campaign have indeed become obsolete. Their attempts to define me have failed. The personally titled domains they created, once a source of severe anxiety for me, now stand as a testament to their failed efforts. I came to see their antics did no real damage to my life but I have seen a lot of benefits!
As the poster says, it isn’t the toxic tenants themselves I was afraid of, but the abuse they perpetrated against me on these websites. Now that I no longer fear that, there is nothing left for me to fear.
Embracing Growth and Forgiveness
While it would be easy to harbour resentment towards those who sought to harm me, I’ve chosen a different path. Forgiveness, not for their benefit but for my own peace of mind, has been a crucial part of my healing process. This doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing their actions, but rather freeing myself from the burden of anger and bitterness.
I’ve learned to focus on my personal growth, using the energy that once fueled my anxiety to drive positive changes in my life. The skills I’ve developed in dealing with this situation – resilience, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence – have become valuable assets in my personal life and help my relationships.
A Message of Hope
To anyone facing similar challenges, know that you are not alone. The journey through a smear campaign or any form of online harassment is undoubtedly difficult, but it is not insurmountable. Remember that those who resort to such tactics often do so from a place of insecurity and fear. Your strength lies in rising above the actions they do and focusing on your own growth and well-being.
Conclusion
I have enormous gratitude for the lessons learned and the strength gained. The toxic tenants and their smear campaign have become obsolete, fading into irrelevance as I continue to move forward. Their actions meant to destroy, have instead catalyzed profound personal growth and resilience. I thank them for that.
To those who may find themselves in similar situations, remember: This too shall pass. Stay true to yourself, document everything, seek support, and trust that in time, the truth will prevail. The journey may be challenging, but the person you become through it will be stronger, wiser, and more compassionate than you ever thought possible.