Stella Reddy's Story of Hope

TRAUMA WHISPERS:

“I need them to admit what
they did, to validate the pain
they caused me.”

HEALING REPLIES:

“Some people simply can’t see
beyond their own blind spots.
My peace doesn’t depend on
their apology-just on knowing
I deserve more.”

I have spent almost 9 years waiting for an apology that I now know will never come. I used to believe that healing required someone else to admit what they did to me. I thought I needed them to see the pain they caused, to look me in the eyes and finally validate my experience.

But as I sit here today, I realize that my peace was never meant to be held hostage by someone else’s awareness or remorse. Toxic bullies don’t have any!

There is a whisper that comes with trauma—a voice that tells me I am only whole if those who hurt me finally see the truth. That voice tries to convince me that my worth is measured by their ability to admit their wrongs.

But I have learned, through many hard days and nights, that some people simply can’t see beyond their own blind spots. They are so wrapped up in their own narratives that my pain becomes invisible to them. No matter how loud I scream or how clearly I lay out the facts, they remain unmoved, unwilling, or unable to acknowledge the reality of what they started.

For a long time, this realization left me feeling powerless. I would replay conversations in my head, imagine different outcomes, and hope for some magical moment of understanding. But I am learning to let go of that hope, not because I have given up on justice, but because I am choosing myself. I prefer to expend my energy on healing.

My healing is not dependent on their apology. My peace is not contingent on their validation. I deserve more than waiting for someone else’s growth to set me free.

When trauma whispers, “You need them to admit what they did,” I have learned to reply, “I see what happened. I honour my pain. I deserve more.”

Healing is not about erasing the past or pretending it didn’t matter. It is about acknowledging the truth of my experience and giving myself the compassion I was denied. I am allowed to feel angry, sad, and disappointed. I am allowed to grieve the apology that will never come.

But I am also allowed to move forward, to choose peace for myself, and to build a life that is not defined by someone else’s blindness or bitterness.

I remind myself every day that I am worthy of respect, love, and kindness. (My husband proves it to me every day!) I do not need anyone else to validate my feelings for them to be real. My story matters, even if it is only heard by me. I have survived things that others will never understand, and that survival is its own form of validation.

So, when trauma whispers, I answer back with healing replies. I choose to believe that I am enough, just as I am. I choose to give myself the closure that others cannot provide. And in doing so, I reclaim my power, my peace, and my future.

This is my journey, and I deserve to walk it free from the weight of someone else’s denial. I know what I saw and what I experienced, and that is enough for me.