Your Nervous System Will Heal
I used to believe that time alone would heal my wounds. People would tell me, “Just give it time, you’ll feel better.” But as the days turned into months and the months into years, I realized that my nervous system didn’t magically reset itself just because the calendar pages kept turning. The anxiety, the hypervigilance, and the deep ache inside me lingered, no matter how much time passed. Hard to believe it’s almost 9 years since the beginning of a nightmare…
It wasn’t until I stumbled across the words, “Your nervous system doesn’t heal just because time has passed. It heals when something safe and loving happens enough times for it to finally believe… It’s over now,” that everything shifted for me. These words resonated so deeply, echoing my own experience. I finally understood why I felt stuck, why the past kept intruding into my present.
I started to notice the small moments when I felt safe. The gentle tone of my hubby’s voice, the warmth of a hug, and the softness of my own breath when I remembered to slow down. Sitting by the Waterfront, watching the waves…Sitting with our cat, Hope, in my lap, sifting my fingers through her soft fur, even watching the antics of our fish…Each of these moments was like a tiny thread, weaving a new story for my nervous system.
It wasn’t about erasing the past, but about teaching myself, over and over, that I was safe now. I had to experience safety and love enough times for my body and mind to finally believe it. Moving home to Newfoundland & Labrador helped me get my sense of safety back in order to start healing.
Healing, I realized, is not a passive process. It’s not something that just happens in the background while I wait. I have to actively seek out and create those safe, loving experiences. Sometimes that means reaching out to someone I trust; other times it means being gentle with myself when old fears resurface. It’s a practice, a commitment to myself.
I share this because I know how lonely it can feel to wait for healing that doesn’t come. If you’re reading this and wondering why you’re not “over it” yet, please know you’re not broken. Your nervous system is just waiting for enough evidence that it’s finally safe. And every small, loving moment counts.
I am learning, slowly but surely, to trust that it’s over now. And with each safe experience, I feel a little more whole. Healing is possible, not because time passes, but because love and safety show up—again and again.
Signs My Nervous System Is Starting to Believe “It’s Over Now”
I’ve noticed that recognizing when my nervous system finally starts to trust that “it’s over now” is not about a single moment, but a gradual unfolding of new experiences and feelings. For a long time, I lived in a state of high alert, always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. But as I’ve moved through healing, I’ve started to recognize subtle, yet profound, changes in my body and mind.
I Feel Safer in My Body and Environment
One of the first things I noticed was a genuine sense of safety returning. My body is no longer constantly scanning for danger. I can relax my shoulders, breathe more deeply, and let my guard down, even if just for a few moments. When I’m in a familiar or previously triggering situation, I realize I’m not tensing up or bracing for impact the way I used to. My body is telling me, “You’re safe right now”.
Emotional Reactions Become Less Intense
I find that my emotional responses to reminders of the past are less overwhelming. Where I once might have been flooded by anxiety, anger, or sadness, now those feelings pass through me more gently. Sometimes I even experience a sense of release, like a wave moving through and then leaving me grounded and calm. This release is my body’s way of processing what happened and letting it go, a clear sign that my nervous system is learning it’s over.
Triggers Lose Their Power
There are times when something that used to trigger me—a sound, a place, a conversation—no longer sends me into a panic or a shutdown. I might notice a slight reaction, but it quickly fades, and I can continue with my day. This shift tells me that my nervous system is no longer stuck in the past, but is anchored more in the present.
The big trip I took this past September 2024 was empowering for me. I went to Toronto, Ontario, where I spent a few days with my sister in the same building where that nightmare happened, and nothing went wrong. I was greeted warmly by everyone I saw. It was a big step for me to stay there where all these memories came from. Then I spent over a week in Regina, Saskatchewan, with my Dad, going to shows, restaurants, and even a football game. I had a fantastic time and felt very safe. (My Dad will be 80 years old next week!)
I Can Express Myself Freely
I also notice I’m able to speak up for myself or express my feelings without that old, visceral fear of repercussion. I speak, or write, what’s on my mind now. My voice doesn’t shake, and I don’t feel the urge to hide or stay silent. This newfound confidence is a sign that my body and mind are aligned in the belief that I am no longer in danger.
My site is still here!! It has changed from what it was, another sign my nervous system is healing, and I find joy in other topics.
A Growing Sense of Peace and Ease
Perhaps the most profound change is a gentle, growing sense of peace within myself. I don’t feel as weighed down by old stories or pain. My nervous system, once stuck in survival mode, now allows me to experience joy, curiosity, and even excitement about the future.
It is an exciting time for me! I have spent the past few months learning AI, and even attended a presentation where they showed us different models and what they could do. It is awesome what it can do! It is technology, something I have always been interested in. Did I tell you I used to build and repair computers? I have my certification in Computer Repair! I used to be the family IT person until my fingers stopped working… 🙂
These changes may be subtle at first, but over time, they add up to a powerful realization: my nervous system is finally starting to believe, “It’s over now.”