Stella Reddy's Story of Hope

These questions are so important to ask yourself to see if you are dealing with a very toxic person who is out to cause you harm.

I use the term “toxic narcissistic behaviour” to describe the actions of the adult bullies I had in my last workplace in Ontario as it is easier but I don’t like labels. I came across this poster I shared above on Pinterest a while back, which has stuck with me.

Labels don’t matter, it is HOW YOU FEEL around a person that counts. 

It is the pattern of behaviour of creating websites filled with their nasty personal opinions they are trying to turn into facts that have shown me over the past 8 years these past tenants have very toxic traits that they use to hurt others.

It is seen in the contents of all their domains, especially stellareddy.com and districtschoolboardofniagara.com. rooseveltskerrit.com was also a terrible site! While most of their domains are now offline, it doesn’t change the fact they were there for many years. I saved all the content of all the websites they had, as I knew eventually they would disappear and they would pretend they didn’t exist.

Ask Yourself these questions and if you answer yes to any of them, know that you are dealing with someone very toxic who is out to hurt you and your personal life, in any way they can.

“Is This Person Toxic?”

“Are there abusive patterns of behaviours that are consistent over time?”

Patterns of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse always accompanies and in most cases precedes, physical battering. Targeted, repeated emotional abuse can severely affect the victim’s sense of self and of reality.

Here is a list of emotionally abusive behaviours abusers use against their targets:

• Abuser makes hostile comments and jokes about how I did the duties of my job such as delivering notices to tenants
• Implies I didn’t know how to do my job
• Ignores my feelings and personal boundaries
• Yells at the victim
• Labels the victim with generally insulting terms: crazy, bitch, stupid, racist
• Repeatedly delivers a series of insults specific to the victim and designed to inflict maximum psychological damage, such as the comments about my family members
• Repeatedly humiliate the victim online in personally titled domains they created in your name, and on social media
• Isolates the victim socially by spreading gossip in the workplace and with your family members
• Blames the victim for all the abuser’s troubles and failures, such as being evicted for breaking the rules of entry
• Threatens physical violence and retaliation against the victim, children or other family members by instigating others against me with their contents
• Puts down the victim’s abilities as a mother, lover, worker, etc
• Demands all the victim’s attention
• Gives the victim the “silent treatment”
• Accuses the victim of being violent if she acts in any way to protect herself
• Questions her sense of reality and memories of situations
• Puts down or denies the victim’s history, heritage, faith, values
• Destroys victim’s self-esteem

and finally,

“Do I feel emotionally and physically safe with this person?”