Toxic People Always Give Themselves Away

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You Can Tell A Lot About Someone By What They Choose to See in You.
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Toxic People Always Give Themselves Away.

As I navigate my relationships, I often reflect on the idea that you can tell a lot about someone by what they choose to see in you. It’s fascinating how perceptions can be so diverse; one person may view my strengths as weaknesses, while another might see my vulnerability as a sign of strength. 

This concept resonates deeply with me, especially considering the way smear campaigns and toxic traits can shape perceptions and alter our relationships with others.

Understanding Perceptions

I’ve learned that perceptions are influenced by various factors, including one’s experiences, beliefs, and emotional state. When I think about my own interactions, I realize how often people project their insecurities, fears, and biases onto me.

I remember a time when a Tenant from the workplace who felt threatened by my job activities actively engaged in a smear campaign against me on various websites out of revenge for their eviction for breaking the rules of entry. They highlighted my mistakes and exaggerated my flaws in an attempt to undermine my credibility. What struck me most during that experience was not just the campaign itself but the realization that their actions said far more about them than they did about me.

KR & AR made up an elaborate lie that I was racist against them and that I “illegally” evicted them by “forging and altering documents” to do so as they refused to admit it was their own refusal of access that caused it. 

I found myself reflecting on the toxic traits this past tenant displayed—jealousy, insecurity, gaslighting and manipulation. This individual chose to see me not as building staff but as a rival, fixating on what they perceived as my vulnerabilities. It’s disheartening to know that some people feel compelled to tear others down to elevate themselves.

Yet, I also found clarity in that situation. It allowed me to understand that their need to belittle me stemmed from their unresolved issues. 

The Dynamics of Smear Campaigns

When I think about the smear campaigns against me over the past 8 years, I feel a mix of anger and empathy. It’s painful to be at the receiving end of such vicious attacks, where misinformation and exaggeration become weapons against my character. I instinctively reflect on the motivations behind these actions these days.

I’ve come to realize that people who engage in smear campaigns often do so because they fear losing control, status, or power. Witnessing their toxic behaviour, I’ve started to recognize a pattern in the way these individuals operate; they project their issues onto others, creating a narrative that aligns with their own insecurities. 

I watched these same individuals create more online smear campaigns since 2017. The ones containing my name were 859kennedyroad.com, davidstrashin.com, stellareddy.com, socialjusticetribunalsofontario.ca, sjtomemberkevinlundy.com, sjtomembervandanapatel.com, and lorriereddy.com. The domain against others was youwinair.com, stcatherinesanimalhotpital.com, connaughtpublicschool.com, and districtschoolboardofniagara.com. Some of these domains still work, and some are no more. 

For me, experiencing a smear campaign was a wake-up call. It forced me to look closely at my own responses and behaviours. I had to decide whether I would stoop to their level or rise above and maintain my integrity.

In the beginning, I did the same, naming and shaming them in a personally titled domain but I didn’t feel good doing that as it isn’t in my nature. I didn’t want to be like them. Eventually, I chose the latter, reminding myself that I cannot control how others perceive me, but I can control how I react.

By reflecting on the attitudes and actions of those who engage in smear campaigns, I am better equipped to gauge their true character. Their need to divulge secrets and distort truths reveals their inability to confront their own demons.

With this understanding, I’ve learned to limit my emotional investment in such individuals. Instead of retaliating, I focus on building relationships with those who uplift me, seeing me for my worth rather than dwelling on my perceived flaws. I have learned to focus on gratitude.

Toxic Traits and Their Implications

In my journey of self-discovery and understanding, I’ve taken note of common toxic traits in individuals I encounter. I’ve realized that recognizing these characteristics in others is essential for maintaining my well-being.

Toxic people often display patterns of behaviour such as manipulation, gaslighting, persistent negativity, or entitlement. These past tenants consistently belittled me and sought to invalidate my feelings, leaving me feeling drained and questioning my self-worth. Looking at the content of stellareddy.com you can understand why.

While it’s easy to cast blame on these individuals, I’ve learned that it’s vital to understand the underlying issues driving their behaviour and expose them for what they truly are. I don’t believe in sitting back and ignoring the actions of toxic people. 

Often, toxic individuals carry unresolved pain and trauma, compelling them to act out in harmful ways. They are entitled to their perceptions, but not entitled to push them on others.

Their distorted perceptions made me feel like I was always on trial. They were constantly critiquing how I did the duties of my job. However, understanding that their behaviour reflects their internal struggles allows me to empathize without losing sight of my own needs.

I came to see the negativity they expose in their thinking and realized nothing I could ever say or do would get them to change their narratives, so my best way forward was to acknowledge their actions and expose their lies for what they were.

Instead of retaliating, I decided to assert my boundaries. I’ve learned that I have every right to protect my mental health, even if it means distancing myself from those who refuse to see the best in me. It became clear to me that by allowing myself to be affected by their toxicity, I was unwittingly allowing them to dictate my self-perception.

Choosing to See the Positives

Despite the challenges that come with encountering toxic individuals, I’ve also had the incredible fortune of surrounding myself with those who see the best in me. These relationships highlight the importance of choosing who to engage with and how I perceive myself. The individuals who boost me up, inspire my growth and appreciate my uniqueness become shining examples of how positive perceptions can foster a sense of community and belonging.

One lesson I’ve taken to heart is that I am not defined by how others choose to see me. My self-worth is not contingent upon the opinions of those who engage in smear campaigns or display toxic traits. When I value myself for who I am, I leave less room for others to dictate my worth.

Through embracing the good in my life, I have developed a clearer identity rooted in positivity and growth—two values that contrast sharply with toxicity and negativity. I find myself gravitating towards uplifting discussions, constructive feedback, and empowerment in all my relationships. This conscious choice has been incredibly liberating, allowing me to move forward with confidence and self-acceptance.

The Art of Self-Reflection

In this journey, I’ve embraced self-reflection. I regularly take the time to assess my own behaviours and attitudes toward others, questioning whether I, too, inadvertently project my insecurities onto those around me. I must recognize my own toxic traits so I won’t perpetuate the cycle of negativity.

Every day, I ask myself how I choose to see the people I encounter. Am I focusing on their faults, or am I acknowledging their strengths? Am I uplifting or tearing down? The more I practice this self-awareness, the better I become at cultivating positive relationships and identifying those who align with my values.

Ultimately, how I perceive others speaks volumes about me. The more I strive to be an understanding, compassionate individual, the more likely I am to attract similar people into my life. I understand that there will always be those who engage in smear campaigns and toxic behaviours, but I refuse to let their perceptions shape my self-worth.

I’ve come to appreciate the profound truth embedded in the idea that you can tell a lot about someone by what they choose to see in you. It serves as a powerful reminder of my resilience and the importance of surrounding myself with individuals who uplift rather than undermine me.

By recognizing the behaviours and motivations of others, I can more effectively navigate relationships, asserting my boundaries and nurturing my well-being.

Through self-reflection and conscious choices, I am empowered to choose how I view myself and the people around me. I embrace the journey of rising above toxic traits and smear campaigns, and I eagerly continue to seek those who choose to see the best in me. By doing so, I cultivate an environment that fosters growth, positivity, and authenticity for both myself and those who share in this journey.

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