If I ever needed a sign my mental health was recovering, it is represented in this picture of myself on the Jumbotron at the Regina Roughriders Football game on September 28, 2024, in Regina SK while I was visiting my family there.
I was given a SK Roughriders T-shirt, which I wore that day and yes, it is my first piece of clothing in green! 🙂
It was my first ever Football game, let alone a live one that was attended by over 24000 people. It was LOUD! I have not heard so much noise in many years. It was invigoring though!
I have to admit, in the beginning, I was a little overwhelmed and spent some time focusing on my breathing to get through the anxiety I was feeling. So many people! As the game progressed I just focused on the person next to me who was explaining the plays I was seeing. I had no idea about Football and needed guidance on what I was seeing.
As the afternoon passed, my anxiety didn’t go away, but it did ease enough that I started enjoying myself. When my step-mom asked to take my picture for the jumbotron, I said yes and sure enough, it showed up there and it didn’t bother me!
Exposure therapy works for me. I am always open to facing my fears and doing things I want to do anyway. As I said before, I want to live, not just have a life.
I just went on a Multi-City trip all by myself, when I never thought I would have the courage to ever leave Newfoundland ever again. I spent 2 weeks fighting my fears and was shown I had nothing to be afraid of.
I missed my hubby but I had an awesome time!
I flew a plane from St. John’s to Toronto, where I stayed with my sister for a few days in the apartment building I used to work in, and I was fine. Yes, I saw some tenants I know still living there and it was great! I even met the new staff. I had no anxiety there!
I also hopped on the GO Bus and went to Hamilton for the day to see my youngest son and daughter-in-law and had a fantastic time! I cried like a baby for a few minutes when I first saw my youngest child, as I hadn’t seen him in over 5 years and found tears coming to my eyes every time I looked at him after. He has grown so much since I saw him last and I could see it in his face. He will always be my baby though…
Then I got on another plane and went to Regina, Saskatchewan for 10 days to visit my Dad and step-mom, where I was spoiled rotten and had an awesome time! Dad cooked my favourite foods, from his Irish Stew to Cod Au Gratin and I was waited on every day. All I was asked to do, was rest and relax.
My Father is close to 80 but still very active. He works out every morning in his basement gym, still plays golf when he can, and is always doing something. He and my step-mom took me all over Saskatchewan from Saskatoon, Lumsden, and Moose Jaw. We went through Meuseums and underground Tunnels, and even went to a Concert and a live Football, as noted above.
I was so focused on living in the moment and taking in everything I was seeing, that I forgot to take pictures… 🙂 That is mindfulness…
I met so many people and went to crowded restaurants, all with no fear! I am so very grateful I had the chance to go on this trip, it opened my eyes to all I still have to be grateful for.
If you ever get the chance to have a Bison Burger, go for it!! Nothing else tastes like it, not even Moose. 🙂
I don’t need to go out of my way anymore to expose my fears as I know now I will always manage them, whatever comes, just as I have been doing the past 4 years. Nothing anyone could ever do will ever throw me off again! No more fears for me!!