As you may notice, I got into Psychology Today and read some of the articles I have missed reading recently. Here is another one I am sharing on ” How a Narcissist Weaponizes the Narrative”
I never expected that doing my job well would make me a target. Yet, in that environment, a tenant’s jealousy and refusal to take responsibility became a weapon aimed squarely at me. I watched, stunned, as they quietly rewrote the story of what happened — stripping out their own mistakes, falsifying mine, and inserting a new “truth” that placed me in the role of villain.
I never imagined that simply enforcing the rules of a rental property could turn me into someone’s target. Yet that’s exactly what happened when certain tenants decided to twist the truth into something unrecognizable — and dangerous.
These tenants were evicted for one clear reason: they repeatedly broke the rules of entry. That was the truth, and it was documented by the Landlord and Tenant Board and upheld by the Divisional Court, which is part of the Supreme Court of Canada.
But instead of taking responsibility for their own actions, they set out to rewrite history in a way that painted me as the villain. They claimed there had been a prior meeting where I supposedly made racist remarks to them — a meeting that never happened 2 1/2 months before they even vaguely mentioned it in a letter. They went even further, accusing me of forging documents and working “in cahoots” with others to illegally evict them. Every one of those allegations was a lie.
They tried to use their many lies against me in applications with the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario, claiming I was racist and acted in a discriminatory manner towards them during the duties of my job, which they decided to walk away from when a hearing was finally scheduled after 19 months. You don’t walk away from a legal proceeding after all that time unless you know you can’t prove your claims.
The most insidious part was how they spread these falsehoods behind my back, ensuring their version of events reached others before I even knew I had been accused. I saw them slipping into the victim stance, layering their story with emotional manipulation so that their misconduct was eclipsed by the drama of their false claims against me.
I wasn’t allowed to speak up for myself due to ongoing legal proceedings. My side wasn’t asked for. The narrative had already been poisoned.
It was disorienting. I knew the truth, yet the conviction in their false narrative was so strong that others started to believe it. That’s the danger of dealing with people who deliberately distort reality — they count on repetition, emotion, and surprise to throw you off balance.
Over time, I recognized what was really driving their behaviour: resentment and jealousy. They resented the authority I had to enforce rules they couldn’t bend. They envied my ability to remain professional under pressure.
And because they couldn’t undo the eviction through legitimate means, they tried to destroy my credibility instead by creating various websites where they shared their many lies in the content and twisted everything to their benefit.
I learned the hard way that with people like this, you must protect yourself fiercely:
- Document everything — dates, interactions, proof of events.
- Set clear boundaries — don’t let them draw you into unnecessary exchanges.
- Control your narrative — speak the truth openly, so their lies have less room to spread.
Telling this story is my way of taking back what they tried to steal from me — my voice, my reputation, and my peace. It is the only way forward for me, and it has helped greatly!
How a Narcissist Weaponizes the Narrative
Three ways to handle a narcissist when they rewrite history.
Posted August 20, 2025 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Key points
- A narcissist often rewrites history to escape taking responsibility.
- Their distorted recollection of events can make you feel “crazy.”
- They often broadcast their false narrative to people behind your back.
It is difficult to deal with someone who has strong narcissistic tendencies because they rarely look at themselves or take responsibility. Instead, they unconsciously or subconsciously employ a cognitive distortion called the victim stance. This allows them to distort what happened, so they can see themselves as the innocent party in the interaction and you as the villain. Although you wholeheartedly disagree, the narcissist is adamant that their version is the correct one. Often this causes you to question your own sanity.
For example, Lisa and Amy are collaborating on a critical work project. Lisa completes her half of the project, but Amy is unable to finish her part by the deadline and makes several excuses. Lisa reminds herself to be patient and asks Amy if she can help. Amy agrees and permits Lisa to do some of the work. As the next deadline approaches, Lisa realizes that Amy did not complete anything at all. Panicked, she dives in to complete the project.
After Lisa submits the project, she explains to Amy that she is frustrated with what transpired. Amy is indignant and tells Lisa that her apartment is being renovated; she has been staying with a relative who keeps her up at night because she is an alcoholic. Amy goes on to say that she has had a sinus infection and is under the weather. Lisa is confused because Amy never appeared sleepy or exhibited any symptoms of a sinus infection. Although Lisa is frustrated, she would have found a solution that did not include dumping her work. She still felt compassion for Amy and let it go.
The next day, Lisa is called into her boss’s office. She is excited because she hopes he will recognize her hard work on the project. Instead, her boss confronts her about her “lack of compassion” for Amy. He says that Amy approached him the previous day to tell him about her personal issues, and described Lisa as “cold, detached, and unemphatic.” In lieu of listening to her side of the story, he recommends that Lisa attend empathy training and shoos her out of his office.
In this scenario, Amy is unable to dig in and do the hard work, yet instead of talking to Lisa about it, she comes up with a litany of excuses after Lisa has already done the work. Additionally, Amy covers her tracks by bringing her false narrative to the boss behind Lisa’s back, to ensure she is excused. In the end, Lisa looks like the problem.
If this happens to you: First, get space from this person. Avoid prolonged projects or interactions with them. Second, you need to maintain strong boundaries. Do not bend over backwards or do favors for them; this may be a setup. The narcissist needs material to misconstrue. Third, they are jealous of you. Perhaps you have better relationships, a stronger work ethic, or are emotionally intelligent. People with strong narcissistic streaks tend to be jealous of the people who possess the things they do not have. Unfortunately, instead of grappling with their jealousy and acting on it constructively, they seek to sabotage the person with whom they are jealous.
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