As Internet users, I am sure you are aware of some of the pitfalls that come with using it. The rise of digital communication has transformed how we interact, yet it has also exposed individuals to significant risks.
One of the most distressing forms of online abuse is doxxing, where personal information is maliciously shared, leading to harassment and emotional turmoil. I have become very familiar with the subject due to my personal experience over the past 8 years with my info being doxxed online on stellareddy.com and other sites they created.
The Dynamics of Online Interactions: Online interactions can be complex, often lacking the contextual cues present in face-to-face communication. This environment can foster misunderstandings, leading to miscommunication and, in some cases, escalation into harassment. The anonymity of the internet can embolden individuals to engage in harmful behaviours without considering the consequences of their actions.
These “anonymous” authors have never cared about the harm their actions caused me and my family over the past 8 years, even though I asked them many times to remove the content, especially after they “abandoned” their Human Rights applications in January 2020. They just didn’t care what anyone had to say, not even the Police, as the site remains.
Key Factors Leading to Emotional Distress; Victims of doxxing often experience a range of emotional responses, including fear, anxiety, and helplessness. The sudden invasion of privacy can shatter one’s sense of security, creating an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. Concerns about safety, social isolation, and the potential for economic repercussions can compound the distress.
Living with these emotions is difficult, especially from July 2018 when I quit the job to September 2020 when we moved from Toronto, Ontario. I was scared out of my wits, lost 86 lbs as I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep. I would throw up all the time due to bad nerves. The most difficult for me was the episodes of psychosis, where I was convinced these tenants were coming to kill me and the following hospital visits were not fun. I never want to feel that way ever again.
Identifying and Mitigating Risks of Cyberbullying; Recognizing the signs of cyberbullying is crucial in addressing the issue early. Individuals need to educate themselves about online safety practices, such as adjusting privacy settings and monitoring their digital footprints. Reporting incidents of harassment to platform moderators can also be an important step in reclaiming control over one’s online space.
I had to do quite a bit to protect my identity from Fraud and I continue with these steps to this day. Thankfully, as a retired person on a Disability Pension, I have no credit anymore to abuse!!
I emailed Hosting companies, which sometimes led to suspended domains, only for them to move to another Host. Now, stellareddy.com is hosted on free speech nameservers in Panama. I emailed the Domain Registrars, which have changed a few times too. I emailed City Officials in Toronto, ON; emailed lawyers looking for advice, even Legal Aid; and in 2021 I even went to the Police. Last resort, I emailed the Ministry of Justice, who informed me about coming initiatives.
While all this didn’t stop the abuse against me online, it has slowed it down, so much so the tenants put the site back online in March 2024 and added a few posts, but didn’t finish it and nothing has been added since August 2024. They left the contents incomplete, even though they seemed so excited to repost it all again.
While all these actions don’t seem to have helped me personally, they have helped. Many Hosting Providers now include that Doxxing is not allowed on their servers in their policies.
Creating Healthy Boundaries in Digital Spaces; Establishing healthy boundaries in online environments can help mitigate the effects of doxxing. This includes curating social media interactions and being mindful of what personal information is shared publicly. Boundaries serve as a protective barrier against potential emotional harm, creating a safer digital experience.
I opened up my Social Media and created my own website, also in my personal name, and by doing so, I protect myself. I didn’t want to hide anymore and if anyone wanted to ask me questions about the narratives online int he many websites they have, go for it! Here I am, ask away!
My story of cyberbullying is out there and anyone looking at my name will find it, not just their website. This way, anyone interested can SEE the real me in my own words, not the fake persona they created in their content.
I told everyone that these Tenants were not friends to know anything about my personal life, not even co-workers, but Customers from my job who got mad at me for the part I played in their eviction. All the personal info they share online was gained during the legal applications against me, especially Human Rights. Yes, they took private info they gained during these processes and shared it online in the content of the domains they made, which is the pure definition of Doxxing.
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence for Better Responses; Emotional intelligence is key in navigating the fallout of doxxing. By improving skills such as self-awareness and impulse control, victims can better manage their reactions to online threats. This understanding can lead to more constructive engagement rather than emotional outbursts that could escalate the situation.
This one was hard, as I used to be very impatient and tended to “jump”. I have many emails and documents showing this trait of mine in the past over their actions. Self-awareness was a struggle at times, but I am grateful I was able to learn what made me “tick”. After learning so much over the past few years, I have learned how to pause and reflect before I respond. My relationships have benefited from it, especially my marriage! I am grateful for that.
Finding Joy in Small Acts of Self-Care; In the face of emotional distress, self-care becomes vital. Engaging in activities that bring joy, whether cooking, journaling, or spending time in nature, can provide essential relief. Building a routine that incorporates self-care practices encourages resilience, empowering victims to reclaim their sense of self amidst the chaos of online harassment.
Mother Nature has been my biggest thing, as I am surrounded by it here in Newfoundland & Labrador. I spent many days sitting by the Atlantic Ocean, soaking up the sound of the waves. I also spent many hours at various parks and in my own backyard, listening to the birds and watching the trees.
Therapy played a significant role in my journey toward healing and self-discovery. It provided me with the tools and insights I needed to navigate my thoughts and feelings, helping me to step away from the overwhelming noise in my head. As I worked through my emotions in a safe and supportive environment, I began to recognize that much of the shame I carried was not truly mine; it was a burden placed upon me by others who had misdirected their blame.
Once I was able to release that shame and understand its origins, I found that moving forward became much easier. I learned to let go of the weight of others’ perceptions and judgments, which had held me back for so long. This process of self-forgiveness was nothing short of transformative—it felt almost magical.
By forgiving myself for the mistakes I had made and the feelings I had harboured, I opened the door to a new sense of freedom and empowerment. I discovered that self-forgiveness isn’t just about absolving myself of guilt; it’s about embracing my humanity, accepting my imperfections, and acknowledging that growth often comes from our struggles. This newfound perspective has been a catalyst for positive change in my life, allowing me to move forward with a renewed sense of hope and purpose.
Navigating the pain of doxxing attacks is challenging, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to emerge stronger and more aware. You are worth the time and effort it may take.