This is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists called “gaslighting.”
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist seeks to make the victim doubt their own feelings, perceptions, and sanity. They do this by minimizing or denying their own harmful actions and instead focusing on the victim’s reactions or emotions.
In essence, the narcissist attempts to shift the blame onto the victim and make it seem like the victim’s reactions are irrational or unwarranted. (They will call you “crazy”!)
This can be a highly effective way for the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their behaviour and maintain control over the situation.
Right from the beginning of this mess, I was being blamed for reacting to their actions. It is okay for Toxic Tenants to name and shame me (doxxing) in various domain contents they created for that purpose, but if I complain, then I am the toxic person. It is very convoluted. If you look at the content of stellareddy.com you will see what I mean…
“Naming and shaming” is a concept where individuals publicly expose or identify others for perceived wrongdoings or unethical behaviour.
This can be a distressing experience, and it’s essential to take steps to address it constructively. I didn’t react in the best way sometimes, but as I say, you don’t know till you know.
I had to research and learn how to ” react” in the proper way. Never stop learning something new!!
Here are some suggestions on how to handle being named and shamed:
1. Stay Calm: It’s natural to feel upset or defensive when someone is publicly criticizing or shaming you, but try to remain as calm as possible. Avoid engaging in a heated argument or responding impulsively.
2. Assess the Situation: Take some time to understand why you are being named and shamed. Is there any truth to the allegations or criticisms being made? Understanding the source and motivation behind the accusations can help you respond more effectively.
3. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or trusted colleagues who can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time. Talking to someone you trust can help you process your feelings and gain perspective.
4. Disengage from Trolls: If the naming and shaming is happening online, especially on social media, it may involve trolls or individuals seeking to provoke a reaction. Sometimes, the best response is to ignore and disengage from such behaviour, as responding may only feed the negativity.
5. Seek Legal Advice: If the situation involves false accusations, harassment, or defamation, consult with an attorney to understand your legal rights and options. Legal action may be necessary in some cases.
6. Take Care of Your Well-being: Focus on self-care to manage the stress and emotional toll this situation may be causing. This includes practicing relaxation techniques, maintaining a healthy routine, and seeking professional help if needed.
7. Learn and Grow: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Regardless of the validity of the accusations, consider what you can learn from the situation to become a better person.
Remember that being named and shamed is a challenging experience, but it doesn’t define your worth or character. How you respond to the situation can make a significant difference in how it ultimately affects you. Surround yourself with supportive individuals, and take steps to protect your mental and emotional well-being.
Move if you have to, like I did! Go somewhere new and start over… The Trolls will try to follow you but they won’t get anywhere as the people of your new community do not care what these strangers have to say.
You will see that Anonymous Trolls on the internet are ignored in your new place!
When these prior tenants learned where I was living in 2021, they created lorriereddy.com by using my nickname (now gone) where they shared my new Facebook, hoping to turn people here against me for their false allegations of racism. It didn’t work, even though the site was online for 2 years. By this time, I refused to hide anymore and even now I have my social media Public.
For me, it was the practice of Mindfulness that got me out of my head and the fear of everything that lived there. I focus on the here and now these days, except when writing on this Blog. The posting I do has helped me release all the pain of being Bullied so badly. It has been my release. We all need a way to do that!!