Stella Reddy's Story of Hope

This image offers a comprehensive overview of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms, as illustrated by Dr. Michelle Gastón. It highlights the emotional, cognitive, and behavioural effects that individuals may experience after trauma.

There is no cure for PTSD, but you can learn to manage the symptoms, but you will need professional help. I do not recommend you go on your own with PTSD; you need someone to help you make sense of how you feel.

My PTSD came from a house fire in 1991, where I got trapped on the 3rd floor and ended up jumping out the window to get away from the flames. They said it was about 32 feet. I remember that day as if it were yesterday, though it was almost 35 years ago. I also remember my thoughts when I stood there trying to decide whether to jump out the window, and they were not pretty. I was 24 years old, a single parent of 2 young children. We lost every possession we owned that day, and while it took some time, we rebuilt our lives. Maybe one day I’ll share that.

I remember quite a bit of the aftermath: waking up in the emergency in panic, looking for my kids, and dealing with so much damage to my body, including broken bones and severe burns. I even lost my voice for a couple of months from smoke damage. 3 months in hospital. Took me almost 3 years to gain back my independence. Learning how to walk again wasn’t easy, but I did it, thanks to determination and great physiotherapists.

I had about 5 years of mental health therapy back then, learning how to control my symptoms. I even got lucky and had someone come to my home every week for 3 years while I was recovering physically. I lost count of all the times I went out only to turn around and go back home, afraid I left something plugged in.

I was terrified of another fire, so I unplugged everything before I left the house, and it took many years to stop doing that. It also took many years to be able to be around a fire pit, a fireplace, and a beach fire, which is common here in Newfoundland. The smell of smoke would drive me into a panic, so winters here in NL weren’t easy with all the wood-burning stoves people have in their homes.

I managed my symptoms for many years, until I was bullied in the workplace by Adults starting in 2016 who should have known better. I was falsely accused of racism against tenants, very publicly in the building with other tenants, their guests, with Legal Tribunals they applied to, and online on website contents and social media, where they claimed I was abusing my position to get them illegally evicted. It was a mess for many years, which I have written about extensively on here.

The fear I had of being physically and verbally attacked was extreme. The 7 websites they made, filled with their malicious opinions over every aspect of my professional and personal life, were terrifying. We all know what doxxing someone can do to them, so yes, my PTSD symptoms came out strongly once again. Spending the past 5 years in therapy was how I once again learned to manage.

I didn’t know in 2018 that PTSD symptoms could be severely aggravated by another trauma, even an emotional one, as the smear campaign was. The fear I felt was extreme, but normal when you have PTSD.

In all honesty, I don’t remember much of the 2 years I lived in limbo, July 2018-January 2020, waiting for legal applications to be over. I hid away during that time, afraid of what could be there waiting for me if I left my apartment. It was bad enough getting almost daily emails filled with viciousness for most of it. I have a folder with 536 emails from that mess, mostly from them for the legal stuff they filed against me.

I am okay, I will always be okay, as I find a way. To me, my life is important enough for me to try all I can to make it through the challenges I face. I survive the bad so I can enjoy the good, as honestly, there is still so much good around me. As I have said before, I want a life, not just to live.

If you suffer from any of these symptoms, I hope you accept that you can learn to manage them and still live a great life. It isn’t perfect, but it is yours, and that is reason enough, at least to me!

I hope this helps!

Here’s a concise summary:

PTSD Symptom Summary

• Emotional challenges: Persistent fear, guilt, shame, anger, or emotional numbness; difficulty feeling positive emotions.
• Cognitive disruptions: Memory problems, trouble concentrating, depersonalization, derealization, and inability to recall key parts of the traumatic event.
• Behavioural signs: Avoidance of reminders (people, places, thoughts), irritability, angry outbursts, reckless or self-destructive behaviour.
• Physical and psychological responses: Hypervigilance, exaggerated startle response, intense distress, traumatic nightmares, and flashbacks.
• Social impact: Feeling detached from loved ones and losing interest in activities once enjoyed.