Awe resentment… Such a strong emotion! Have a look at the article above on Psychology Today as it is very insightful. Self-awareness is so important in this area. I needed to find a way out, for my own mental health.
The authors of https://stellareddy.com have made it their mission to trash my name, label me a racist, and share their opinions about my personal life, all under the guise of “exposing” me for my alleged wrongdoings in my last workplace for the past 8 years in various domains, including one in my own personal name.
I have caught them doing so much online using my name, which makes it hard not to take it personally. When someone dedicates an entire website to tearing you down, it’s natural to feel like you’re under attack. And I feel I am. Every time I see my name associated with words like “bully” and “racist”, it feels like a punch to the gut. The pain and frustration that comes with being unfairly maligned are real, and they linger long after the initial shock has worn off.
The content on this website is not just hurtful, it’s also incredibly one-sided. The author presents their version of events as fact, without giving me a chance to respond. It’s a classic case of “my side of the story is the only side that matters“, and it’s not only unfair, but it’s also damaging.
Over the years, I’ve tried to ignore the website, to rise above it, and to focus on my own life. But the truth is, it’s hard to shake off the feeling of being constantly attacked. Every time I think I’ve put it behind me, something new pops up, and I’m right back where I started. The resentment and anger simmering just below the surface, waiting to boil over at any moment.
I watched this site get suspended for breaking policies, only to show up on another Host 23 times in the past 6 years, and with each reposting, I felt my resentment grow. I had to find a way out of that…
One of the hardest things to deal with is the sense of powerlessness. I’ve tried to reason with these tenants, to explain my side of the story, to apologize for any perceived wrongs. But my efforts have been met with silence or, worse, more vitriol. The thought of being forever tied to these malicious allegations is a weight that’s hard to shake but I know I will someday!
Six years is a long time, and I’ve had to develop coping mechanisms to deal with the ongoing stress and anxiety that come with being the target of this website. But even with the best coping strategies, the resentment still lingers. It’s like an open wound that never quite heals but I know one day, it will.
I have to believe the end is near…There isn’t much left for them to do as Policies are changing and rules are being created to prevent this online behaviour in the future.
I’ve tried to put myself in the author’s shoes, to understand what drives them to dedicate so much time and energy to attacking me. Is it a sense of justice? A need for revenge? A desire to be heard? Whatever the motivation, I wish they could understand the harm they have caused and are still causing with this website.
As I reflect on the past six years, I realize that resentment is a heavy burden to carry. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a choice. And it’s a choice I’m trying to unmake, every day. I’m working to let go of the anger, the hurt, and the resentment. I’m working to focus on my own life, my own happiness, and my own sense of purpose. I have become better at it…
But it’s hard. Oh, it’s hard. The wounds are deep, and the scars will take time to heal. But I’m committed to moving forward, to rising above, and to finding a way to forgive. Not for the author’s sake, but for mine.
In the end, I hope that the author of https://stellareddy.com can find it in their heart to move on, to let go of their own anger and resentment they have held onto for so long. But until then, I’ll keep working on my own path to healing, and to finding peace.