For nine long years, toxic tenants from my last workplace tried to create a false version of me. They built entire websites—seven in total, including stellareddy.com—filled with distortions, assumptions, and outright lies. They wrote about “Stella Reddy” as if they knew me, but the truth is simple: they didn’t.
The Site Created In My Name By Others: stellareddy.com
These individuals were tenants. Nothing more.
- They were not family.
- They were not friends.
- They were not even personal acquaintances.
They had no access to my personal life beyond the words I shared during legal proceedings, no understanding of who I am beyond the professional role I held. Yet they chose to invent opinions about me—about how I did my job, about my character, about my worth—and spread those opinions online as if they were fact.
Their words were never about truth. They were about control. They wanted to define me, to strip me of my identity, and to make their version louder than my reality. But here’s the truth they cannot erase:
- I am not responsible for the opinions others create about me.
- I am not defined by the distortions of strangers.
- I am not obligated to carry the weight of their false narratives.
What they wrote was never about me—it was about their own resentment, their refusal to accept accountability for their own actions, and their need to project blame onto me and others. I’ve watched them do the same thing to numerous people on various other websites they created.
I have reclaimed my voice. I remind myself, and anyone who reads any of their words, that opinions of strangers are not facts. Their websites may have existed for many years, but they never held the power to define me. My life, my experiences, and my truth belong to me alone. It is called personal autotomy, which we all have!
When people search my name now, they find my words—my reflections, my healing, my resilience. The false “Stella Reddy” they tried to create has faded into obscurity, while the real Stella Reddy stands strong, unapologetic, and free.
Because I am not responsible for their opinion of me. I am responsible only for living my truth.
Turning Awareness Into Strength
Recognizing these toxic traits is the first step toward reclaiming your power. By naming these behaviours clearly, reframing the labels, and modelling resilience, we can break free from toxic cycles and stand strong in our truth. You will find all of these traits in the post above from the content of stellareddy.com they had from 2022. I broke it up into pages…
Toxic behaviour can be hard to recognize when you’re caught in the middle of it. Through my experience, I learned to identify the patterns of manipulation they used—and now I share them here so you can spot these traits in your own life.
The last one, Fear, was very hard for me to manage, especially in social situations, but I used Exposure Therapy, which helped quite a bit. I showed myself I had nothing to fear from people, as no one cared to read the opinions about me online by a stranger, let alone believe any of it when they could talk to me instead.
1. Gaslighting
What it looks like:
- Denying your reality or experiences.
- Calling you “crazy” or “unstable” when you stand up for yourself.
- Twisting facts to make you doubt your memory or perception.
Why it’s harmful: Gaslighting erodes your confidence and makes you question your own truth.
2. Smear Campaigns
What it looks like:
- Creating false stories to damage your reputation.
- Using websites or social media to spread lies.
- Recruiting others to believe their version of events.
Why it’s harmful: Smear campaigns isolate you and attempt to replace your identity with their false narrative.
3. Projection
What it looks like:
- Accusing you of the very behaviours they are guilty of.
- Labelling you as “bully” or “liar” while they engage in those actions themselves.
Why it’s harmful: Projection shifts blame and keeps you trapped in their cycle of denial.
4. Weaponized Labels
What it looks like:
- Using derogatory terms like “racist”, “crazy,” “unstable,” or “liar” to silence you.
- Reducing your identity to stereotypes instead of engaging with facts.
Why it’s harmful: Labels are used to dismiss your voice and strip away your individuality.
5. Avoidance of Accountability
What it looks like:
- Deflecting blame when confronted.
- Refusing to acknowledge their role in conflict.
- Shifting focus to your supposed flaws instead of their actions.
Why it’s harmful: Without accountability, toxic people continue their behaviour unchecked.
6. Control Through Fear
What it looks like:
- Threatening reputational harm if you speak out.
- Creating anxiety by keeping you on edge with unpredictable attacks.
Why it’s harmful: Fear keeps you silent and gives them power over your choices.
Discover more from Stella Reddy's Story of Hope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.