As someone who has grappled with the debilitating effects of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), I can attest to the profound accuracy of Bree Bonchay’s description.
The poster’s concise yet powerful words—”the result of feeling UNPREPARED and POWERLESS to deal with the UNEXPECTED, PROLONGED, and UNRELENTING stress caused by someone who is REPEATEDLY and INTENTIONALLY cruel”—perfectly encapsulate the torment I experienced over the past eight years due to a former Tenant from my last workplace.
The contents of https://stellareddy.com can attest to this torment. The contents of this website have been repeated and intentionally cruel, as you can see from the words contained within.
Blindsided by Deception
I still vividly remember the day I first encountered the elaborate lie concocted by this tenant, as detailed on the past 859kennedyroad.com website in December 2017. I was completely blindsided, utterly unprepared for the level of deception and malice this individual would display and continues to display to this day. They ignore the reason for their eviction as they don’t want to be seen at fault. My mind is blown by all they have done in my name the past 8 years.
All the domains that contained my name were 859kennedyroad.com, stellareddy.com, davidstrashin.com, sjtomemberkevinlundy.com, sjtomembervandanapatel.com, socialjusticetribunalsontario.ca, and lorriereddy.com. That is 7 websites that were created to continue their deceptions and hold the severe cyberbullying the anonymous authors do. They even created a LinkedIn account in my name!
Feeling Powerless
But the reality was far different. I found myself thrust into a situation where I felt powerless to defend myself, let alone effectively address the tenant’s relentless campaign of cruelty. Each new accusation, each fabricated “evidence,” chipped away at my sense of self-worth and competence, leaving me in a constant state of high stress and anxiety.
I quit my job while in psychosis on July 4, 2018. I remember talking to one of the owners on the phone when a new email came from these nasty tenants, and I was reading it out loud to him.
The next thing I remember is sitting on my bed 2 days later on the phone with the Mental Health Helpline, seeing all my personal belongings packed all around me. I freaked out. My hubby said I wasn’t there, someone else was and I was acting irrationally. I don’t remember doing that, all I remember is desperation to get away and protect myself. This was the start of getting help for my struggles, thankfully!
The Unexpected Nature of the Trauma
The unexpected nature of this tenant’s actions was perhaps the most unsettling aspect. I had always prided myself on my ability to anticipate and mitigate potential conflicts, but this individual seemed to defy all logic and reason. Their behaviour was so unpredictable, so erratic, that I found myself constantly on edge, never knowing when the next attack would come. They outright lied and with such conviction, it was scary to see.
Confronting a Relentless Campaign of Lies and Abuse
The past several years have been a harrowing ordeal, marked by a sustained and systematic campaign of deception and cruelty perpetrated by a former tenant who got mad they were evicted for their behaviours. They denied entry, but rather than address that, they turned the tables and tried to make the situation my fault.
From the elaborate lies fabricated at a purported meeting at a restaurant “some time” in June 2016, where they attempted to rally other tenants against me, to the subsequent smear campaign waged across the property – it has been a never-ending barrage of malicious attempts to undermine my credibility and get me terminated from my position.
They even dared to contact Property Standards of Toronto and state the management NEVER did anything about their maintenance issues, even though they had all the Notices of Entry from me showing I tried. I never understood that, knowing there was paperwork showing otherwise.
The Weaponization of False Allegations
Perhaps most disturbing were the allegations of “forging and altering documents” – a callous and calculated effort to cast doubt on my integrity and professionalism.
The tenant went to great lengths to manufacture a paper trail of emails and other documentation, all in a twisted effort to lend credibility to their lies. It is seen in the contents of all their websites, past and present. The 107-page “Statement of Facts” they submitted for Human Rights is filled with such false allegations against me, all without evidence it occurred as they said.
Legal Battles and Doxxing
Despite their best efforts, the tenant’s legal applications against me were ultimately unsuccessful. However, the trauma did not end there. They took all the information gained during these legal issues and shared it online in the domains they created for that purpose. They have engaged in a relentless campaign of doxxing, targeting both myself and my family members, subjecting us to an onslaught of harassment and invasion of privacy.
The Ongoing Smear Campaign
And of course, there are the malicious websites and domains they have created, each one a repository of slanderous content designed to further tarnish my reputation and that of my family. It is a never-ending nightmare, a constant reminder of the depths to which this individual will sink in their quest to destroy me. Thankfully, most of the sites have been deregistered, but stellareddy.com remains.
The Relentless Stress
And the stress, oh, the stress. It permeated every aspect of my life, seeping into my waking hours and haunting my dreams. I would wake up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, replaying the latest interaction with the tenant in my mind, agonizing over what I could have done differently.
Or not sleep at all, which is what happened most nights. The prolonged and unrelenting nature of this torment took a devastating toll on my physical and mental well-being.
I became isolated, spending just over 2 years living as a hermit, terrified to leave my home. I lost contact with friends and even some family members, as they became scared they would become the next target and have their names show up online. I had to find a way forward and so we decided to come back to NL and rebuild. Which is what we have done since September 2020!
Resonating with Bree Bonchay’s Insights
Bree Bonchay’s description of C-PTSD, with its emphasis on the cumulative impact of chronic, interpersonal trauma, resonates with me on a profound level. I can vividly recall the moments when I felt utterly alone, surrounded by so many people who, despite their best intentions, simply could not grasp the depth of my anguish.
The Intentionality of the Cruelty
And the intentionality of the tenant’s actions – that was perhaps the most disturbing aspect of it all. I could not fathom how someone could be so deliberately, systematically cruel, so intent on inflicting maximum harm. It was not mere thoughtlessness or impatience, but a calculated, malevolent campaign to undermine my very existence.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
As the years wore on, the trauma began to manifest in ways I had never anticipated. I found myself constantly on edge, hyper-vigilant to the point of exhaustion. The simplest interactions would trigger intense feelings of anxiety and dread, as I braced myself for the next onslaught of accusations or threats.
Discovering Bree Bonchay’s Insights
Seeing this poster, I felt a profound sense of recognition and validation. Here, at last, was someone who truly understood the unique and devastating nature of the trauma I had endured.
Reclaiming Control and Agency
3 years ago I began the arduous process of reclaiming my life, of rebuilding the foundations that had been so mercilessly shattered. It was not an easy journey, filled with setbacks and moments of overwhelming despair. However, with the guidance and support of a skilled therapist, I slowly began to regain a sense of control and agency over my own experiences.
Other Bloggers also helped me enormously! The writings I have found on this platform have shown me I was not alone. The awesome scenery here in NL, where I spend so much of my time, and the friendly people here, also help. I have found a profound sense of peace and I do the work I need to keep it that way.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions
One of the most crucial realizations I had during this process was the importance of validating my own feelings and experiences. My work empowered me to recognize that my reactions to the tenant’s actions were not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of unimaginable adversity.
I have survived. I sit here now, 8 years later, filled with confidence that I have prevailed over their malicious smear campaign against me.
Sharing My Story and Destigmatizing C-PTSD
As I continue to navigate the winding path of recovery, I am grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences and to lend my voice to the growing chorus of those who have been impacted by Complex PTSD.
I hope that by speaking out and sharing my story, I can help to destigmatize this often misunderstood condition and provide a glimmer of hope to those who are still grappling with the aftermath of their own traumatic experiences.