Stella Reddy's Story of Hope

Reading articles like the one below was a lifeline for me during such a bewildering time. Even though I could understand the words, when you’re caught up in the chaos, it’s nearly impossible to process what’s really happening. (Unfortunately, the link no longer works, but I saved the text that was there.)

I kept searching for answers, reading article after article like this one, but it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve truly accepted what these articles were telling me. Adults who bully others can be the worst people on Earth.

Over time, I’ve come to see that the smear campaign toxic tenants launched against me online—obsessively picking apart every aspect of my life—wasn’t really about me at all. It was about KR and his own insecurities. He tried to shine the spotlight on me, hoping no one would notice his own actions. It’s classic blame-shifting.

If you looked at their timeline, it’s all about trying to paint themselves as cooperative and accommodating, insisting there were “absolutely no issues” and that KR was “fully cooperative.” They want to appear as the reasonable ones, while everyone else is the villain. It’s almost laughable.

But the Landlord and Tenant Board, the Divisional Court, and the Human Rights Tribunal all made it clear: you need solid evidence to support your claims against others. Your word alone isn’t enough, especially when there are so many conflicting accounts.

That’s why I became so meticulous with my paperwork in my job in later years, keeping copies of everything sent to tenants. I was known for copying and pasting the actual rules from official websites into my documents—no room for misinterpretation or pushback. I used the real rules, not my own spin.

KR & AR have openly admitted to bullying me. There’s no other way to interpret his online words: “the point here is that Stella Reddy is in a continuous losing battle because, in the end, everyone who searches her name… will all see the truth about her and will deal with her accordingly.”

As it has been proven time and time again. Stella Reddy is a liar, a really bad liar. And the pattern of her lying only continues with her conveniently fabricate PTSD.
As Stella Reddy stated before “I am a firm believer in Karma!”
Yes, Karma has spoken and like she did to interracial married couple / tenants. The racist Stella Reddy and her enabling husband will be moving and they will NOT BE HAVING THEIR BIG OLD RETIREMENT PARTY as they hoped and planned for at 859Kennedy Road.
Instead they are forced to move due to their own actions and inability to recognize their own faults and misdeeds. In the end KARMA struck and now the racist Stella Reddy and her enabling husband
will try and run away from their racist history to Newfoundland.
When last checked Newfoundland still had the internet and people could still search up individuals by names and their history. Just in case the racist Stella Reddy and her enabling husband think they can hide from the internet, their racist and anti-black behavior and these websites

This was bullying. This was a smear campaign. And I refused to let their lies define me.

https://bullyonline.org/old/workbully/amibeing.htm#am_i_being_bullied

What is Workplace Bullying?

The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. It has nothing to do with managing: Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Anyone who chooses to bully implicitly admits their inadequacy.

Some people project their inadequacy onto others:

• to avoid facing up to and doing something about it;
• to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has; and
• to dilute their fear of being seen as weak, inadequate and possibly incompetent; and
• to divert attention away from the same: In badly run workplaces, bullying is the way that inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs and obtain promotion.

Bullying destroys teams, causing disenchantment, demoralisation, demotivation, disaffection, and alienation. Bullies run dysfunctional and inefficient organisations; staff turnover and sickness absence are high whilst morale, productivity and profitability are low. Any perceived efficiency gains from bullying are a short term illusion: Long term prospects are always at serious risk.

Bullying behaviours are behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, terrorism, conflict and violence. Understanding bullying gives a person the opportunity to understand that which underpins almost all forms of reprehensible behavior. Because of that, bullying remains the single most important social issue of today.

Workplace Bullying tends to happen in phases that can be called (1) Isolation, (2) Control and Subjugation and (3) Elimination. The terminology in the examples applies to workplaces but has parallels in other situations. Examples are loosely categorised under the “Phase” headings but in reality any of the example behaviours can occur in any phase.

Isolation

• constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature – the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool the people (including the target) into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication.
• simultaneous with the criticism, a persistent refusal to acknowledge the target and his or her contributions and achievements or to recognise their existence and value;
• constant attempts to undermine the target and his or her position, status, worth, value and potential where the target is in a group (eg at work),
• being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what’s going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, “sent to Coventry”
• The above can be done with or without the cover of a formal disciplinary or capability procedure.

Control and Subjugation

• being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment the target puts a foot wrong – however trivial – action is taken against them;
• being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others;
• being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others being overloaded with work, or having all their work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all finding that their work, and the credit for it, is stolen and plagiarised;
• having responsibility increased but authority removed;
• having annual leave, sickness leave, and (especially) compassionate leave refused
• being denied training necessary to fulfill duties
• having unrealistic goals set, which change as they approach, also deadlines change at short notice, or no notice, and the target only finds out when its too late to do anything about it.
• being the subject of gossip which has the effect of damaging one’s reputation.

Elimination

• the target finds that everything they say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented;
• is subjected to disciplinary procedures with verbal or written warnings imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and without proper investigation, or with a sham investigation;
• is coerced into leaving through no fault of their own, constructive dismissal, early or ill-health retirement, etc
• is dismissed following specious allegations of misconduct or incapability which have just a grain of truth, to give superficial legitimacy to the dismissal.

One way to conceal bullying is to have regular or even continuous “reorganisations”, where:-

• targets can be “organized out” – this applies to anyone whose face doesn’t fit, i.e. anyone who has identified, complained about or challenged problems with the status quo;
• they can have their roles “regraded” or “redefined”, if not being organised out.
• The bully’s allies and political pawns can be promoted to positions of influence.

Where a re-organisation seems pointless or counter-productive, or if it involves a disproportionate amount of disruption in relation to the perceived benefit of the change, it could be a smokescreen to conceal (and be a vehicle of) bullying. People are so busy coping with the chaos that bullying goes unnoticed. At the same time, the person responsible can claim to be reorganising in the name of efficiency, thus earning him or her the respect of superiors.

Business stakeholders should note that bullying, and these forms of concealment, may be distracting attention from financial fraud, corruption, misappropriation of funds and so on.

Workplace bullying is commonly sustained by denial, ignorance and indifference, often in a climate of fear, with a common result being the premature departure of the target and reward for the perpetrator. Tim Field

Am I Being Bullied?

You might think that the answer to this question should be obvious and it sometimes is, but there are people who are bullied for years without actually realising it. Many people come to recognise that they are being treated unfairly but not all can put the nature of the unfairness into words.  When someone is first coming to terms with the possibility that they might be being bullied, they might wonder if they are to blame for their situation. A common feature of psychological bullying is to make the target feel useless, guilty and to blame for their predicament, when they are not. How can you tell whether you’re a genuine target or a useless idiot who’s to blame for everything?

To work out if you’re being bullied, its a good idea to collect together information about your experience, including notes about the way it made you feel. As soon as you think you might be being bullied, start documenting the experience, recording who said or did what to whom, why and when. If you have not been doing that up to now, it’s time to write down everything you can remember, using emails, messages, calendar entries and what have you, to build a time frame and supporting evidence.

Get a definition of bullying you can understand. We say that Bullying is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform.

Consider how your experience fits with the definition. If there are many incidents, what happened? Could it be justified by a reasonable code of conduct? In other words, if you were accused of misconduct, do you think that your accuser had genuine grounds to believe that you had done whatever it was? Was there clear evidence that you were innocent? Was the evidence overlooked? If there was more than one incident, where each was tolerable in isolation, were they collectively more serious? How did the conduct affect you? Was it threatening, explicitly or implicitly? Did it, or could it, affect your reputation or your ability to perform? How did it make you feel, and so on.

Accusing someone of bullying is a serious matter that should not be done without very good reason. If your experience seems aligned with the descriptions on this website, it makes sense to spend some time checking your account and considering other possible explanations of what has happened. This can be difficult: If you’re being being psychologically manipulated and feeling guilty about things that are not your fault, or if you’re worried about the futility or danger of taking action against a known abuser, then you might jump to some other conclusion. On the other hand, even if you’re initially sure that you’re being treated unfairly, its important to take some time considering the possibility that you might be mistaken. If someone has treated you badly, have you made allowances for the way they behaved? Were they having an uncharacteristically bad day? Has this happened before? Is there a worrying pattern to their behaviour?

Many who are bullied at work eventually find themselves forced to take part in disciplinary or performance management procedures that are being used as a means to control, subjugate or humiliate them, or to terminate their employment. Having said that, disciplinary and performance management procedures are the legitimate means for employers to encourage improvements or, in some cases, to dismiss employees whose conduct or performance is below the required standard. If you’re being “disciplined” or “performance managed”, here are some signs to help you understand whether the procedure is being used legitimately or not:

People who work for properly run organisations who find themselves undergoing such procedures, typically:-

• Know from the beginning of the procedure that their performance or conduct is under investigation;
• Are aware of something they have done or failed to do or, if not, can readily understand why the employer might believe that they have done or failed to do something to warrant invoking the procedure;
• Are provided with copies of the relevant procedure at the outset, advised of their rights within the procedure, and given adequate opportunities to prepare and present their case;
• Are treated with civility throughout;
• Are listened to and questioned where the point of the questioning is to better understand their case;
• Are afforded their rights under the procedure, including the right to appeal to an independent person within the organisation;
• Are not given any reasons to think that the procedure is designed to “stitch them up”;
• Understand the logic of the employer’s decisions, even if the outcome is not in the employee’s favour.

Conversely, people who work for bully-tolerant organisations who find themselves undergoing such procedures, often:-

• Do not know that their performance or conduct is under investigation until they are told it has been, perhaps for some time;
• Are unaware of anything they have done or failed to do and cannot believe that the employer genuinely thinks they have done anything to warrant invoking the procedure. (The charges or allegations may be obviously contrived or trumped up, but with a grain of truth to create a hint of superficial plausibility.)
• Are suspended without a good business reason;
• Are not told about the relevant procedure at the outset, with minimal information given about rights and the importance of preparing their case;
• Are treated like an adversary from the outset, rather than an asset.
• Feel that they have been ignored when presenting their case, and subsequently discover that any evidence that contradicted the employer’s case was overlooked, without any reason being given.
• Are afforded their basic legal minimum rights under the procedure.
• The outcome is a decision which constrains, warns, demotes or dismisses them, leaving them feeling bewildered and stitched up, and sure that the procedure was a sham whose outcome must have been premeditated before the procedure began.

It’s fair to say that isolated or one-off indiscretions that don’t have a lasting effect are not “bullying”, and neither are reasonable responses to actual or perceived misconduct. However, where someone’s bad behaviour is focused on you, repeatedly or even persistently and is threatening, undermining, humiliating etc you, or where an employer is using conduct or performance management procedures without good reason, then it may well be bullying.

People who are bullied find that they are:

• Isolated
  • isolated and excluded from what’s happening;
  • denied information or knowledge necessary for undertaking work and achieving objectives
  • starved of resources, sometimes whilst others often receive more than they need
  • denied support by their manager and thus find themselves working in a management vacuum
  • either overloaded with work (this keeps people busy [with no time to tackle bullying] and makes it harder to achieve targets) or have all their work taken away (which is sometimes replaced with inappropriate menial jobs, eg photocopying, filing, making coffee)
  • have their responsibility increased but their authority removed
  • overruled, ignored, sidelined, marginalised, ostracised
  • given “the silent treatment”: the bully refuses to communicate and avoids eye contact (always an indicator of an abusive relationship); often instructions are received only via email, memos, or a succession of yellow stickies or post-it notes

• Controlled and Subjugated
  • do not have a clear job description, or have one that is exceedingly long;
  • set unrealistic goals and deadlines which are unachievable or which are changed without notice or reason or whenever they get near achieving them
  • frequently or constantly criticised and subjected to unwarranted, destructive criticism;
  • encouraged to feel guilty, and to believe they’re always the one at fault
    • when they defend themselves, their explanations and proof of achievements are ridiculed, overruled, dismissed or ignored;
  • frequently subject to nit-picking and trivial fault-finding. The triviality reveals an absence of any serious concern
  • subject to excessive monitoring, supervision, micro-management, recording, snooping etc
  • undermined, especially in front of others. Concerns are raised, or doubts expressed about a person’s performance or standard of work, but the concerns lack substance and cannot be quantified, or are simply false;
  • threatened, shouted at and humiliated, especially in front of others
  • taunted and teased where the intention is to embarrass and humiliate
  • singled out and treated differently, e.g. being disciplined for arriving one minute late, when others stroll in late without penalty;
  • belittled, degraded, demeaned, ridiculed, patronised, subject to disparaging remarks
  • regularly the target of offensive language, personal remarks, or inappropriate bad language
  • have their work plagiarised, stolen and copied – the bully then presents their target’s work (eg to senior management) as their own
  • the subject of written complaints by other members of staff (who have been coerced into fabricating allegations – the complaints are trivial, often bizarre [“He looked at me in a funny way”] and often bear striking similarity to each other, suggesting a common origin)
  • forced to work long hours, often without remuneration and under threat of dismissal
  • refused requests for leave, or unacceptable and unnecessary conditions are attached
  • denied annual leave, sickness leave, or – especially – compassionate leave
  • when on leave, are harassed by calls at home or on holiday, often at unsocial hours
  • receive unpleasant or threatening calls or are harassed with intimidating memos, notes or emails with no verbal communication, immediately prior to weekends and holidays (eg 4pm Friday or Christmas Eve – often these are hand-delivered)

• Eliminated
  • are invited to “informal” meetings which turn out to be disciplinary hearings
  • facing unjustified disciplinary action on trivial or specious or false charges
  • subjected to unwarranted and unjustified verbal or written warnings
  • are denied representation at meetings, often under threat of further disciplinary action; sometimes the bully abuses their position of power to exclude any representative who is competent to deal with bullying
  • dismissed on fabricated charges or flimsy excuses, often using a trivial incident from months or years previously
  • coerced into reluctant resignation, enforced redundancy, early or ill-health retirement
  • denied the right to earn their livelihood including being prevented from getting another job, usually with a bad or misleading reference

If you’re reading this because you think someone you know is being treated this way, send them a link to the page or print it and give it to them – it might be the best thing you ever do for them. If you’re reading this because you’re worried about the way you are being treated by someone, Read more of this website to find out what courses of action are open to you.