Most people think toxic behaviour is something that happens behind closed doors — in families, workplaces, friendships, or rental disputes. They imagine it as small‑scale, personal, emotional. But anyone who has lived through real toxicity knows better. Toxic behaviour is not limited to individuals. It is a pattern, and patterns scale. They show up in relationships, in communities, and — as we’re seeing now — in international politics.

The recent escalation of U.S. tariffs on Canadian goods is a perfect example. When I read the CBC reporting on the new 50% tariffs (link below), I didn’t just see a trade dispute. I saw the same behavioural dynamics I learned to recognize in toxic people: rewriting reality, escalating conflict, targeting vulnerabilities, creating division, weaponizing unpredictability, and demanding compliance while breaking the rules.

Trump threatens Canada with new 50% tariffs in latest ramp-up of trade war

Once you’ve lived through it, you can’t unsee it.

The Emotional Weight of Watching Toxic Patterns Play Out on a Global Stage

I find it profoundly sad — and honestly unsettling — to witness the same toxic behavioural patterns I learned to recognize in harmful individuals now appearing in the actions of a President of the United States and members of his administration. After everything we know, after decades of research into how destabilizing these behaviours are, after countless studies showing the psychological, social, and economic damage they cause, it is heartbreaking to see them repeated at the highest levels of power.

Because these patterns aren’t new. They aren’t mysterious. They aren’t misunderstood.

They are documented, studied, and proven to create instability, fear, confusion, and division. And yet, the people engaging in them seem completely indifferent to the consequences. They show no concern for how their behaviour affects allies, citizens, or the global community. Instead, they move through the world with a sense of entitlement — the belief that their actions are justified simply because they are the ones taking them.

This entitlement is familiar to anyone who has lived through toxic relationships. It’s the same entitlement that says:

• “I can break the rules, but you must follow them.”
• “I can escalate, but you must stay calm.”
• “I can harm you, but you must not respond.”
• “I can rewrite the story, and you must accept it.”

Seeing these dynamics echoed in international behaviour is not just disappointing — it’s destabilizing. Because when toxic patterns scale up, the harm scales with them.

And that’s what makes this moment so sad: We know better. We have the research. We have the evidence. We have the warnings.

Yet the behaviour continues, driven by entitlement rather than responsibility, dominance rather than partnership, and self‑interest rather than the stability that healthy leadership requires.

How the Canadian Boycott Fits Into the New Tariffs — And Why Toxic Systems Pretend It Doesn’t Exist

One piece of this story that almost no one in the U.S. administration acknowledges — and yet is absolutely central to understanding the escalation — is the growing Canadian boycott of U.S. goods. This boycott didn’t appear out of nowhere. It emerged from frustration, from exhaustion, and from a collective recognition that Canadians were being treated unfairly. People began quietly shifting their spending, choosing Canadian products, avoiding U.S. travel, and supporting local businesses instead. It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t political theatre. It was a boundary — a grassroots, citizen‑driven boundary.

And toxic systems hate boundaries.

This boycott matters because it represents Canadian agency. It shows that Canadians are not passive recipients of whatever narrative the U.S. administration chooses to push. They are responding in the only way ordinary people can: through their choices, their wallets, and their refusal to reward behaviour they see as harmful. That kind of collective boundary‑setting has economic consequences, and those consequences do not go unnoticed.

But here’s the toxic pattern: Toxic actors never acknowledge the consequences of their own behaviour. They only acknowledge the reactions they can weaponize.

So instead of admitting that Canadians have already begun asserting themselves through a boycott, the U.S. administration rewrites the narrative and frames Canada as the aggressor. They claim Canada is “retaliating,” while ignoring the fact that the boycott existed long before the latest round of tariffs. They pretend the only “real” response is the one they can criticize publicly. They erase the quiet, steady, grassroots boundary‑setting that Canadians have already been doing.

This silence is strategic. It keeps the narrative simple. It keeps the blame pointed outward. It keeps the toxic system intact.

But the truth is clear: the boycott is part of the story. It is part of the pressure. It is part of the reason the U.S. escalated. And it is part of how Canadians reclaim power in a system that often tries to make them feel small. The boycott shows that Canadians are already refusing to accept the rewritten narrative — and that refusal is exactly what destabilizes toxic behaviour.

Boundaries always do.

1. Rewriting Reality: The First Move of Every Toxic Actor

Toxic people always start by flipping the story. They harm you, then insist you harmed them. They violate agreements, then accuse you of being unfair. They create chaos, then blame you for the mess.

This is exactly what’s happening with the U.S. tariff escalation. I see it so clearly…

The U.S. claims Canada is “retaliating and discriminating” against American industries — even though Canada’s actions were matching U.S. measures that violated the trade agreement. Canada responded within the rules. The U.S. did not.

This is the same pattern I saw in toxic individuals who twisted every situation to make themselves the victim. It’s not about truth. It’s about control of the narrative.

When someone rewrites reality, they’re not trying to convince you. They’re trying to destabilize you.

2. Escalation as a Weapon: When Logic Fails, Chaos Steps In

Toxic people don’t negotiate. They escalate.

If you set a boundary, they push harder. If you ask for clarity, they create confusion. If you try to resolve the issue, they raise the stakes.

A sudden 50% tariff on everyday Canadian goods — wine, hockey sticks, cement, dairy, furniture — is escalation, not diplomacy. It’s the political equivalent of a toxic person slamming a door, shouting louder, or making an outrageous threat just to regain control.

Escalation isn’t about solving the problem. It’s about destabilizing the other side so they become reactive instead of strategic.

This is how toxic people maintain power: by keeping you off balance.

3. Targeting What Matters Most: The Precision of Harm

Toxic people don’t strike randomly. They strike where it hurts.

They target your reputation, your home, your relationships, your sense of safety — whatever will create maximum disruption.

The U.S. didn’t choose random goods to tariff. They chose goods tied to Canadian identity and regional economies. Wine. Hockey sticks. Dairy. Everyday items that touch multiple provinces and industries.

This isn’t coincidence. It’s strategy.

It mirrors the behaviour of toxic individuals who know exactly which pressure points to hit to cause the most damage.

4. Divide and Conquer: Weakening the Support System

One of the most effective toxic tactics is creating division within your support network. If they can’t isolate you physically, they’ll isolate you socially.

Look at the Canadian political reaction:

• Some leaders call for calm.
• Others demand “tariff for tariff, dollar for dollar.”
• Some provinces feel the pressure more intensely.
• Industry groups are exhausted and conflicted.

This fragmentation weakens Canada’s negotiating position — just like internal division weakens a victim’s ability to respond to toxic behaviour.

Toxic actors thrive when the people around you disagree about how to handle them.

5. Weaponizing Unpredictability: Keeping You Off Balance

Unpredictability is one of the most powerful tools toxic people use. If you can’t predict their next move, you can’t prepare for it. If you can’t prepare, you stay anxious, reactive, and vulnerable.

Canadian leaders are openly saying they “can’t make sense” of the U.S. actions. That confusion isn’t accidental — it’s part of the pattern.

Unpredictability keeps the other side guessing. Guessing keeps them off balance. Being off balance keeps them easier to control.

This is the same tactic toxic individuals use when they alternate between charm and cruelty, calm and chaos, silence and explosion.

The goal is not resolution. The goal is dominance.

6. Breaking the Rules While Demanding Your Compliance

This is the most infuriating pattern of all — and the one that shows up in every toxic relationship.

Toxic people violate boundaries, agreements, and norms — then insist you must follow the rules perfectly. They demand your compliance while ignoring their own obligations.

The U.S. violated CUSMA with these tariffs. Canada responded within the agreement. Yet somehow, the narrative being pushed is that Canada “shouldn’t retaliate.”

This is textbook toxic logic:

“I can do whatever I want. You must stay quiet.”

It’s not partnership. It’s not respect. It’s control.

7. Why These Patterns Matter — And Why Survivors See Them First

People who haven’t lived through toxic behaviour often miss the signs. They think the conflict is about policy, economics, or diplomacy. They assume everyone is acting in good faith. They believe the problem can be solved with reason.

Survivors know better.

We’ve seen how toxic actors operate. We’ve learned how they manipulate. We’ve learned how they escalate. We’ve learned how they distort reality. We’ve learned how they use unpredictability as a weapon. We’ve learned how they demand compliance while breaking every rule themselves.

And we’ve learned that the only effective response is firm boundaries, clear consequences, and refusing to accept the rewritten narrative.

Canada has every right to defend itself. Canada has every right to respond. Canada has every right to refuse to be treated like a subordinate.

This isn’t about being polite. It’s about refusing to repeat the cycle of toxic behaviour — whether in your home or on the world stage.