Hello September!!

The summer is almost gone. One minute it felt like summer was just beginning, and now September is here, and the days are already starting to change. But when I think about the past few months, I know exactly where the summer went. It went into dealing with a loss and everything that comes afterward.

It went into paperwork, phone calls, appointments, cleaning out a house, making decisions, paying expenses, waiting for documents, dealing with banks, and learning far more about probate and estate administration than I ever wanted to know!

And finally, after months of dealing with all of it, we are almost finished. Thank goodness!

We Are Finally Near the End

Last week, the funds were finally released into the estate trust account. That was a big milestone for us because it meant we could finally take care of everything that had been hanging over our heads. All the debts have now been paid, including reimbursing ourselves for the expenses we covered along the way.

Now we are waiting for paperwork from the Federal Government, which should be the last major step before we can close the trust account and disburse whatever funds remain. After everything we have dealt with over the past few months, it feels strange to be able to say that we are almost done.

Probate certainly teaches you patience, whether you want to learn it or not!

Grief Comes With a Lot of Practical Work

One thing this experience has taught me is just how much practical work can come with losing someone.

There is the emotional side of grief, of course, but at the same time there are all these things that simply have to be done. Life doesn’t stop and give you a few months to process everything first.

There are decisions to make. There are belongings to sort through. There are bills and legal responsibilities. There are government departments and financial institutions to deal with. There are deadlines, forms and procedures. And all of that is happening while the people involved are still trying to process the fact that someone they loved is gone.

It has been a lot. My hubby is feeling much better these days, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

I’ve watched him carry a lot over these past few months. Losing his mother was difficult enough without having to immediately take on the responsibility of dealing with everything she left behind. There isn’t really a manual for the emotional part of any of this. You just keep going.

You do the next thing that needs to be done. Then the next. Eventually, you look behind you and realize just how much you have already made it through.

I’m Grateful We Were Able to Manage It

There was also a financial reality to all of this that I don’t think people always talk about. I have read so many stories about unclaimed people once they die, and I didn’t want to do that, not to my hubby’s Mother.

Once everything is finally settled, we will have a nice financial cushion again after spending most of what we had available on moving costs, probate expenses, funeral-related expenses and everything else that came along during the past few months.

I won’t pretend that watching our savings disappear was comfortable. It wasn’t. But I kept reminding myself of something important: we had it when we needed it.

And I am grateful for that. We were able to pay the expenses ourselves so the process could continue instead of having everything stall while we waited for access to funds from her personal bank account. Those funds weren’t released into the estate trust account until last week. That was a long wait. Knowing that we had enough available to keep things moving gave us some breathing room during a time when there was already enough stress to deal with.

Savings aren’t always about buying something exciting or planning some grand adventure. Sometimes savings simply give you options when life suddenly changes. This experience certainly reminded me of that.

Now I Can See the Other Side

When I look back over this summer, it feels like so much of it disappeared into responsibilities. But I don’t feel bitter about that. This was simply the season of life we were in.

Something happened that neither of us could change, and we dealt with what came afterward the best way we knew how. We handled the house. We handled the belongings. We handled the paperwork. We handled the expenses. We handled the estate.

And somewhere in between all of that, we also tried to take care of ourselves and each other. Only one fight! 🙂

Now, finally, I can see the other side.  And I think both of us are ready to close this chapter.

Now September is here.

Hubby still has another week of vacation coming soon, and this time I am determined that we are actually going to enjoy it!

His birthday falls during the week he is off too, which makes it even nicer. I ordered his birthday present online yesterday, and it is supposed to arrive Tuesday. I won’t say what it is just yet—he might see this! I have learned a few things over the years, you know. 😄

I’ve also started making plans for us. The last time he was on vacation, we really needed the downtime. We had just finished dealing with the house and everything that came with it, and both of us were exhausted. Doing absolutely nothing for a couple of days was exactly what we needed.

This time feels different. I want us to get out and enjoy ourselves. I’m planning a boat tour for one day, and another day I’d like us to grab the Hop-On Hop-Off Bus and head out to Cape Spear. We live in such a beautiful part of the country, and there is so much to see practically in our own backyard.

Of course, Newfoundland weather will have the final say in all of this. You can make all the plans you want around here, but Mother Nature occasionally looks at them and says, “That’s cute.”

So, as long as the weather cooperates, we won’t be spending this vacation sitting at home. I think we deserve a little fun. Actually, I know we do.

After spending so much of this summer dealing with death, an estate, probate, expenses, paperwork and responsibilities, I am ready for us to make a few new memories that have absolutely nothing to do with any of it.

I want to stand by the ocean. I want to get on a boat. I want to play tourist in my own city, again.

I want to celebrate my hubby’s birthday and enjoy having him home. Most of all, I want us to have some ordinary fun together.

Looking Forward Again

Maybe that’s the biggest difference I notice in myself right now.

For the past few months, so much of our attention has been focused on what needed to be done next. There hasn’t been much room to look forward to anything because we were so busy taking care of what was directly in front of us.

Now there is. There are still a few things left to finish with the estate, but they no longer consume our days. And suddenly I’m thinking about boat tours, Cape Spear, birthday presents and what the weather might be like while Hubby is on vacation.

I’m making plans again. That feels good.

The summer may have slipped away from us, but it wasn’t wasted. It was spent doing something that needed to be done during a difficult time in our lives.

Now we’re coming out the other side.

And if Newfoundland gives us a few decent days of weather during hubby’s vacation, we’re going to make very good use of them! After the summer we’ve had, I think we’re more than ready for a little adventure.

The summer is almost gone, the estate is almost settled, my hubby is doing better, and life is beginning to feel a little more like ours again. For now, that’s enough for me.

Actually, it’s more than enough.

I’m grateful, very grateful.

I’ll leave you with some photos my hubby took of the Cruise Ships that brought thousands of people to our shores from the office building he works in downtown, and one I took myself when I was able to get downtown.