Cyberbullying is defined as electronically mediated behaviours among peers such as making fun of, telling lies, spreading rumours, threats and sharing private information or pictures without permission to do so.
Being accused of false allegations is scary. Saying someone is racist without evidence is very malicious behaviour that you can’t take back. As this topic packs a massive emotional punch for everyone in today’s society, it is a hard one to get past, but I’m here to tell you it can be done. It just takes a lot of patience, and time.
False accusations of racism can be a serious problem, especially when done out of malice. It can have a devastating impact on the lives of those impacted and can lead to a culture of suspicion and mistrust.
In time, people will see their allegations as just their personal opinions, not facts they could prove in any way. It takes courage to get out there in your Community after such an onslaught on your character, but once you do, you will see that their words are not affecting anyone else as it does you.
No one will ostracize you because of the opinion of another person, especially strangers they don’t know.
I came to distrust everyone around me, even my family members. I spent about 2 years afraid of every knock on the door, afraid someone was coming to attack me for the lies online in my name.
It is therefore vital that we try to understand the phenomenon of false accusations to better deal with it. If you don’t have some understanding of this issue, you won’t be able to get past it! I had to educate myself.
Specifically, false allegations are unsubstantiated claims that lack supporting evidence. It is a completely fabricated claim, where the toxic person has simply made up the allegation out of thin air.
The toxic tenants I had were attempting to control entry to the apartment they rented, in a rental building where I also lived and worked, and because I wouldn’t accommodate them, they accused me of being racist and deliberately causing them “inconvenience.”. Claiming I “forged and altered” documents to “illegally” evict them. They made it up and when you look closely at their narratives, you can see that.
They wanted me to talk to contractors to come up with some dates and times for entry that they could choose from, so they are not inconvenienced and can be home. I feel that because I didn’t “work with them” over this, they used their family dynamics to claim I did that because I was a racist person and out to evict them for no reason.
It was a very scary situation to find myself in and no matter what I said or did, it was taken and manipulated by them to look however they wanted it to. The sense of entitlement I got from them in sharing the personal info they gained about me during a private legal process they started, on a website in my name they created, was terrifying to me for a long time.
They just did not care what they wrote about me on their sites and I was terrified at what they could come up with next! That is the fear they put in you…
They claim to be “exposing” you but if you look close enough, all they do is expose their thoughts about you. There is no evidence there, nothing in word or action that I did showing I did any of that.
I suffered from emotional trauma, such as feelings of extreme guilt, thinking I caused all this turmoil to come into so many people’s lives, including my own just for doing my job, debilitating shame for getting caught up in it all, and severe anxiety of social interactions. I felt their accusation was trying to damage my whole family’s reputation, leading to social isolation from friends and difficulty in finding employment.
All of these false accusations contributed to a climate of mistrust and hostility, making it more difficult for me to trust others, including my family members. I was scared to death for way too long, afraid someone would believe the lies these Toxic Tenants had online, and attack me for them.
I resigned from my job in the wake of these false accusations due to the feeling of being persecuted in the workplace by other Tenants from the gossip going around, the lack of support from my employers over this issue, and the extreme fear of further public ridicule.
While I still worked there, I had no choice but to meet with prospective Tenants, who were total strangers to me, when they were looking for a place to rent, and I had no idea if this person was coming legitimately or to get at me for the contents of the websites online.
How could I know the person coming in off the street didn’t mean to do me any harm? I didn’t and the insecurity of that got to me after a while. It drove my anxiety through the roof!
I was also terrified that friends and family would avoid me out of fear of becoming the next target and having their names and pictures show up online like my sister did. I isolated myself as a result out of fear that their actions put in me. That was their intent!!
I was having hallucinations for a long time that people were going to come and kill me for what they had online in my name. That was psychosis.
Either way, being accused of racism is a serious charge that can have far-reaching consequences on the personal lives of the targets and those around them, but with time and perseverance, you can get past it.
I have learned that being called a racist is considered an opinion, especially when no evidence is given from the accuser. While opinions can hurt, in the long run, they are not counted and ignored, especially when given by people you know are just customers to you from your workplace.
They tried to harm me and have me labelled, but it failed as they had no proof. In my case, they applied with the proper Tribunal, the Human Rights, and after 19 months of the process they saw their case wasn’t going as they hoped, so they decided to walk away and ignore the hearing they fought so hard to get. Yet, they still feel entitled to try and label me to others in the content of their website stellareddy.com. People will see them do that too!
I didn’t know this in the beginning, I instead became defensive. I now understand I didn’t need to defend myself against the false allegations, my life’s work would speak for itself. The description of me written in the content of websites created by past Tenants, filled with their personal opinions, is a work of fiction and all it takes is to meet me to know that. I am confident in that so I decided to fight my fears and face them head on, and ask people!!
I got past my fear of what these Toxic Tenants could write about me, as I know their personal opinions just don’t matter. They were Tenants and as such, had no special insights into my personal life to write as they do, and it is easy to see by the comments they made in their content.
Their narratives are a work of fiction, that came from their imaginations, out of pure malice, hoping to cause harm to me and my family.
They truly think their opinions and speculations count, just because the topic concerned racism. They thought the false allegations would cause me to isolate myself out of fear, and it worked on me for a long time, but thankfully I am not made that way, and I showed myself.
I showed up, asked questions no matter how scared I was of hearing the answers, and showed myself I had nothing to fear.
No one was mad at me, no one was going to turn on me, just because of these Toxic Tenant’s opinions about me and how I did my job. My fears never came true. No one attacked me, not even strangers I just met who I asked to look at those websites and give me their opinions of them.
I HAD to know and did all I could to find out if my fears could happen. I couldn’t live with the anxiety anymore and decided to deal with it and ask people, even other strangers! The responses I received showed me I have nothing to fear from people in my Community.
That is how I got past my fears.
I came to acknowledge that the narratives on their websites are a work of fiction, created out of malice for evicting them. It is an act of spite and revenge for not doing as they wanted, and you can see it in their words.
Face your fears, as you can come to see it is all in your head, created by Toxic Narcissistic People! It is what they do!
They don’t want me talking to others and sharing my Story, as they know if I do, others will also come to see what I have about their actions. You will see they believe it is okay for them to have websites about you but you are not allowed to have one about you too!
Rest easy knowing that time is on your side and eventually, the truth of the situation comes clear to anyone willing to take the time to read it.
Trust yourself.
I have every right to live my own life, make my own choices, and not be swayed by the personal opinions of a stranger who wants to harm me. We all do!
If someone makes threats about “exposing ” you for what they THINK you do, tell them to go right ahead as you know all they are doing is “exposing” their own opinions, not facts.