The list in the poster above is just a short one for a Toxic Personality, but they are also the most important.
- Pathological lying: unable to be completely truthful about anything with anyone.
- Extremely egotistical, truly believing they are above the rest of humanity. Arrogance.
- Do not accept responsibility for their actions and have no qualms about blaming others.
- Remorselessly vindictive when challenged or feeling slighted.
- Moral values are absent in their lives and they have no empathy for others. They mask their callousness behind a social facade: a persona they are highly invested in.
Understanding toxic personalities and learning about their many traits is crucial to protecting yourself from potential harm. Whether it be in a personal relationship, a friendship, or even in a workplace setting, encountering a toxic individual can be detrimental to your overall well-being. When you learn all you can about the behaviours you see, it will help you combat the emotions these behaviours bring out within you. They will save you!
As someone who has had firsthand experience dealing with toxic personalities, I can attest to the importance of being able to recognize and effectively handle these types of individuals before they cause any lasting damage. While I learned these traits late, it is better late than never! Can you imagine where I would be today if I hadn’t become determined to learn about the experience I was having and how to heal from it? I shudder to think of what could have been!
One of the most prominent traits of a toxic personality is pathological lying. This is when an individual is unable to be completely truthful about anything with anyone. They may lie about small, insignificant things or they may even fabricate entire stories to make themselves look better or to manipulate others. This is also how they project, as I was called a liar so many times, even when I had evidence backing me up, that I came to understand that they were projecting their own action onto me.
I heard about a mysterious “prior meeting” they claimed we had where I went up to them and said inappropriate things about their children being spread in the property among the tenants in the Fall of 2016. First, I heard this imaginary conversation occurred inside the restaurant and I went up to their table while they were eating “sometime in June 2016”. Then a year later at the Landlord and Tenant Board, it was changed to this imaginary meeting that occurred outside “sometime in mid to late June 2016”.
They could remember enough of my actual words to use quotes, but they couldn’t remember a more specific date so I could research it for myself and go to the restaurant to get evidence. When I finally got the name of this restaurant, it was long closed and the owners couldn’t find anything I could use. I found it suspicious that they would use a place that was long closed for business, don’t you?
The sheer lack of honesty and transparency in their interactions can make it very difficult to trust them, and ultimately lead to a breakdown in any sort of relationship. I refused to deal with them anymore and I ignored them and their emails as much as I could. I have personally dealt with individuals who were pathological liars, and it was exhausting to constantly question their words and intentions. I got so sick of reading their many lies, that I stopped doing it!
Another common trait of a toxic personality is extreme egotism and arrogance. These individuals truly believe that they are above the rest of humanity and act as if they are entitled to special treatment or privileges. This sense of superiority can make it difficult to have a genuine connection with them, as they are often too preoccupied with their own needs and desires to consider those of others. Their arrogance can be off-putting and alienating, and it can be challenging to establish any sort of mutual respect or understanding. I have found that trying to reason with someone who is excessively egotistical is like talking to a brick wall – it’s frustrating and ultimately futile.
Seeing these toxic tenants criticize every aspect of how I did the duties of my job (imagine, expecting me to “hand deliver” notices to them) and act as if they could do it better, even claiming my mental health issues were “fake”. It took time for me to see they were expressing their arrogance. They truly believed they could do my job better than I could, they said so, and even now suggest they could be better Teachers, better Prime Minister of Dominica, and better Vets too! Talk about grandiose thinking!!
Toxic individuals also tend to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and instead shift the blame onto others. They have no qualms about throwing someone else under the bus to protect themselves or to avoid facing any consequences for their behaviour.
I watched these toxic tenants totally ignore the reason they were evicted from the apartment, their persistent refusal of access, and act as if the whole issue was all about how I did my job. What they don’t see is that I wouldn’t have to give them any forms if they didn’t break the rules.
This whole situation escalated and became about my reaction to them refusing access, rather than about them refusing access in the first place. After all these years, it is about trying to convince others that I am a racist person who others should avoid, just based on the opinions they have laid out in a domain they created in my name. They think that calling me a “racist in Newfoundland” would cause drama in my personal life.
While these actions would have caused me great fear in the past of being recognized and attacked by others while I am out in my Community, I have gained perspective on that. There is no reason for any of that to happen as there is no reason why anyone would accept their narratives, as it is very obvious they don’t know me as well as they think! They even now admit they can’t see into people’s minds to claim their opinions are facts and they admit that they predicate their opinions on what they believe, not on clear evidence. To them, evidence doesn’t matter, it is what they believe that does.
This lack of accountability can be infuriating for those on the receiving end, as it can feel like there is no way to hold them responsible for their actions. I have experienced this firsthand, and it is incredibly frustrating to deal with someone who refuses to acknowledge their own faults and shortcomings. I tried everything I could think of to get them off my back, with no success but I know in time, they will face the consequences of their actions. I have become content with that.
Furthermore, toxic individuals can be remorselessly vindictive when they feel challenged or slighted in any way. All the websites they created that contained my name are evidence of this trait! They are quick to seek revenge on those they perceive as enemies or threats and have no qualms about resorting to underhanded tactics in order to get what they want.
This vindictive behaviour can be incredibly destructive and can lead to a cycle of retaliation and conflict that is difficult to break. I have witnessed this firsthand, and it is truly disheartening to see someone go to such lengths to harm others simply because they feel slighted or offended. Their actions caused their own eviction and the behaviours they used that came later, showed their hatred towards anyone who doesn’t give them what they want.
One of the most troubling aspects of toxic personalities is their complete lack of moral values and empathy for others. They are often willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead, even if it means trampling over others in the process. Their callousness and indifference to the suffering of others are truly alarming, and it can be difficult to comprehend how someone can be so lacking in basic human decency. Their ability to mask this lack of empathy behind a social facade only serves to make them even more dangerous, as they can manipulate and deceive others with ease. I have encountered individuals who fit this description, and it is both unsettling and frightening to see how little regard they have for the well-being of others.
When I said I had PTSD, they took that and said I was “fake”. When I expressed my mental health struggles, they claimed that these things were not relevant, that I was “of sound mind” when they filed their applications against me and any issues that came later, had nothing to do with them and their websites and bullying in the property.
In order to protect yourself from toxic personalities, it is crucial to be able to recognize the warning signs and take proactive steps to distance yourself from them. One of the first things to look out for is a pattern of dishonesty and deception. If someone consistently lies to you or others, it is a clear indication that they may be toxic and cannot be trusted. It is important to trust your instincts and not ignore red flags, as doing so can lead to unnecessary heartache and pain.
Additionally, pay attention to how an individual treats others and whether they show any signs of empathy or compassion. If someone consistently demonstrates a lack of concern for the feelings or well-being of others, and you see they are extremely judgmental, it is likely that they have toxic tendencies and should be approached with caution. Surround yourself with people who exhibit kindness and empathy, as they are more likely to have your best interests at heart.
It is also important to establish boundaries and assert yourself if you feel that someone is being toxic or manipulative towards you. Communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully, and do not be afraid to enforce consequences if necessary. Setting boundaries is essential in protecting yourself from potential harm and ensuring that your well-being is prioritized.
In some cases, it may be necessary to cut ties with someone who exhibits toxic behaviour in order to preserve your own mental and emotional health. I have had to do this myself! While this can be a challenging and difficult decision to make, it is ultimately in your best interest to distance yourself from individuals who are toxic and harmful. Surround yourself with positive influences and supportive individuals who uplift you and prioritize your well-being.
In conclusion, understanding toxic personalities and being able to recognize the traits they exhibit is crucial in order to protect yourself from potential harm. Whether it be pathological lying, extreme egotism, a lack of empathy, or vindictive behaviour, toxic individuals can cause significant damage if left unchecked. By being aware of the warning signs and taking proactive steps to distance yourself from toxic individuals, you can safeguard your mental and emotional well-being and cultivate healthy, positive relationships.
Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by individuals who uplift and support you, not those who seek to manipulate and harm you. Stay vigilant and prioritize your own well-being above all else.
Live in the moments life gives you, as all too soon, they will be gone!
