A Miserable Night With Sweats & Dreams

Living with PTSD and the anxiety that comes with it, whether I want it or not, is one of the hardest things to experience for me. It is a daily struggle to fight the anxious thoughts that come to mind, no matter the situation, but it has to be done. I refuse to allow anxiety to control my life and guide my decisions.

The stress and anxiety of yesterday affected my body systems more than I realized, as I had a miserable night with hot flashes and weird dreams. Stress is so terrible on your body!

I woke up around 1 am covered in sweat, even the sheet under me was soaked enough that I got a towel to lay on so as not to disturb my hubby. I lay there going from hot to cold for the rest of the night, drifting to sleep here and there, with visions in my head of the past…

I was in the hospital all over again, not able to move, dependent on others to look after me. You do not want to know some of the downright embarrassing things I had to endure then… I don’t like remembering them, but that was what my dreams were all about. For me, it wasn’t so much all the pain I endured, it was the lack of independence, especially over my self-care.

Throughout the night, I relived that nightmare in my dreams, and they woke me up often. It was very disorienting and uncomfortable!

Has anyone ever gone bungee jumping? Gone skydiving? Even some gymnastics will give you that feeling. Or just experience a fall? That sense of falling that you experience, the rush of seeing the ground coming at you, your body remembers that feeling, even many years later. I know, as I sometimes wake up during these nights with the sense of falling that my body remembers, even though I do not. I fell about 32 feet! It is a weird feeling…

I entered Menopause a couple of years ago and the night sweats came with it and I find that severe anxiety and stress will set me off, including certain spicy foods… I don’t get bothered much with it during the day, but at least one night every couple of weeks I wake up soaked, but not enough that I soak the bed like I did last night.

I know it was the stress of yesterday and being in the hospital that set it off so badly last night. It wasn’t an easy visit, mostly over the fact that I will be staying in the hospital for 2 nights, on the same floor, which set my body off. You have no idea of the anxiety I have over that..but I am fighting it! I will get better with it as it gets closer. I am not the same person I was then and my life is drastically changed from what it was at that time.

Going to the floor and seeing the room I will be in, which is right next door to the private room I had last time, wasn’t easy to do but at the time, I didn’t feel all that stressed. The hospital has changed a lot in the past 33 years. Instead, the stress came out in the night sweats, and dreams, during the night. My body now feels like I went through the wringer…

I also came home to the realization that this procedure is more major than I thought it would be and the recovery isn’t going to be easy for me with my other issues. I know I can work around them though when I need to.

I sat and spent some time talking to the nurse yesterday about what recovery could look like for me with my legs being what they are, and my neck stenosis and these things will interfere but hopefully not too much. One day at a time I guess… I know what my body can tolerate, which is quite a bit, and I have a high pain tolerance, so I am not worried about that.

My last major surgery was in 2013 and I was given pain meds prescription but didn’t get them…When you have pain all day every day, your body adjusts and builds endurance to it so you can take a lot before it gets to you.

I find I am more worried about losing my independence, of being stuck once again in bed, dependent on others to help me with self-care. The trick with this? Is to remind myself it is only temporary. I can handle anything, as long as I know it is only temporary and I’ll get back to myself again. I have to remember that, as it does help.

I got an awesome stick!! Bought it from Amazon and it will give me back some independence!! 🌞 You are welcome to click the link if you dare… Ya never know, you might need one of these someday! https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07R4H9LHJ?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_dt_b_product_details

I had a nice chat with hubby last night too. He will be there for me in the coming weeks. He plans on being in the hospital with me, all day if he can, and said he would even spend the nights with me too if he could. I am very grateful I have him! My son and daughter-in-law are also planning to visit me one evening…

So, today is about me recovering from such a terrible night and getting some things done here at home, especially laundry.

Below, I am sharing some info on hot flashes that I am sure most women are familiar with! Once you reach a certain age, you can’t avoid it! Here’s to hoping I don’t have any more nights like that!

https://www.menopause.org/for-women/menopause-faqs-hot-flashes

Hot Flashes:

Q. What are hot flashes? What causes them to happen?
A. Hot flashes are the hallmark symptom of menopause. Although their exact cause still isn’t fully understood, hot flashes are thought to be the result of changes in the hypothalamus, the part of the brain that regulates the body’s temperature. If the hypothalamus senses that a woman is too warm, it starts a chain of events to cool her down. Blood vessels near the surface of the skin begin to dilate (enlarge), increasing blood flow to the surface in an attempt to dissipate body heat. This produces a red, flushed look to the face and neck in light-skinned women. It may also make a woman perspire to cool the body down. Women may sense their hearts beating faster. A cold chill often follows a hot flash. A few women experience only the chill.

Menopause-related hot flashes usually follow a consistent pattern unique to each woman, but the pattern differs greatly from woman to woman. Some hot flashes are easily tolerated, some can be annoying or embarrassing, and others can be debilitating.

Q. How long will I have hot flashes?
A. Most women experience hot flashes for 6 months to 2 years, although some reports suggest that they last considerably longer—as long as 10 years, depending on when they began. For a small proportion of women, they may never go away. It is not uncommon for women to experience a recurrence of hot flashes more than 10 years after menopause, even into their 70s or beyond. There is no reliable way of predicting when they will start—or stop.