In this digital age, the impact of online humiliation is unparalleled. With the rapid rise of social media platforms and the ease of sharing information, individuals are more vulnerable than ever to public scrutiny, cyberbullying, and long-term humiliation.
However, in my personal experience, I have come to realize that the very humiliation that once haunted me online has ultimately led me toward freedom from the judgments of others. In this post, I will share my story, highlighting how my journey has unfolded on the path to personal liberation from the judgements of tenants from the workplace.
The Pitfall of Online Humiliation
In 2017, I experienced an incident that forever changed my perspective on the implications of the internet and social media. I was the subject of a domain created by toxic tenants who were mad at me for how I did my job in my workplace, 859kennedyroad.com. Rather than admit they broke the rules of entry, for which they were evicted, they tried to claim I was lying about the whole thing.
They claim I was making it up because I didn’t like the fact they were an interracial couple and I “illegally” evicted them by forging and altering the documents and everyone was “in cahoots” with me to do that. More sites followed over the next 7 years, 2 in my name, the given name of stellareddy.com and the nickname of lorriereddy.com. The humiliation that followed was overwhelming. The harsh comments, the ridicule, and the loss of privacy felt like a weight that I could never escape. But, I did find a way out!!
Initial Struggles and the Power of Judgments
At first, the burden of online humiliation was daunting. I found myself constantly seeking validation, trying to prove my worth to others, often at the expense of my own happiness. Every judgmental comment or negative reaction further reinforced my insecurities, leaving me feeling helpless and trapped in the cycle of seeking approval from strangers online. I was a fanatic over responding to every email sent during the 19 months of their Human Rights applications against me.
I tried every which way for the toxic tenants to understand I was only doing my job, it wasn’t personal towards them, but they didn’t care. They saw what they wanted to see, and heard what they wanted to hear. Nothing I could ever say would get them to back off, it just seemed to make them more determined to keep going with their lies and many assumptions. It was a workplace situation that they made very personal. All I had to do was say something and they took it and twisted it all out of proportion.
Soul-Searching and Self-Acceptance
As time went on, I began to realize that the only way to break free from this vicious cycle was to embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I started seeing a counsellor who specialized in trauma recovery, and together, we unearthed the deeper issues underlying my vulnerability to online humiliation. Through various therapeutic techniques, I learned to confront my insecurities head-on and cultivate a stronger sense of self.
I faced my fears of being attacked by members of my community for the false allegations in the contents of their sites and came to see that no one really cared what these anonymous people had to say. I asked total strangers to read the content that was still online at the time and give me their honest opinions and I got a lot of feedback. I was shown that no matter what these toxic people write, no one cares as people prefer to make their own judgements, not go by what some random person they don’t know, has to say. Eventually, everyone around me came to see it was a smear campaign against me by the words being used.
Finding Empowerment in Community
During my healing process, I discovered a valuable resource -WordPress. There is so much content focused on empowering individuals to embrace their authenticity and detach themselves from the opinions of others. Reading articles on the blogs there was a catalyst for transforming my mindset, as I began to comprehend the concept of self-worth and the significance of focusing on personal growth rather than external validation.
I came to see how silly I was being by giving these toxic tenants’ personal opinions about me too much leverage. In the scheme of my personal life, they mean nothing and have absolutely no influence over anything I do. They don’t have the power to stop me from having any friends, to where I go. They can’t stop me from talking to my neighbours, from accessing services like health care not even legal advice. They can’t even stop me from having my own website. I gained back my personal autonomy.
From Target to Victor
As my journey progressed, I started appreciating the wisdom of the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” By shifting my perspective, I transformed my experience of long-term online humiliation from that of a target to that of a victor. I began to understand that every challenge I had faced had shaped me into a stronger, more resilient individual. I refused to allow the judgments of others to define my worth any longer.
The toxic tenants I had in my last job, which I quit 5 1/2 years ago, have no place in my life anymore except as a lesson on toxic behaviours. The who isn’t important anymore, it is the how they do these things that I needed to learn about. I got my education on toxic traits and as a result, I have become a stronger person.
The Liberating Power of Vulnerability
One critical turning point in my journey was recognizing the power of vulnerability. Rather than hiding from my past, I chose to embrace it. I took control of my narrative by sharing my story on my own terms rather than allowing it to perpetually haunt me in the shadows. This act of vulnerability allowed me to connect with others who had faced similar struggles, creating a support system that was instrumental in my healing process.
I found so many people who faced similar situations and knowing I wasn’t alone, was very important in knowing I could survive my situation as others have done in theirs.
Reaping the Fruits of Personal Freedom
Through self-reflection, therapy, and building a supportive community, liberating myself from the judgments of others became a reality. I realized that being true to myself was far more important than being liked by everyone. My resilience grew, and I gained the courage to pursue my passions fearlessly, both online and offline. The freedom from the opinions of others allowed me to embrace my individuality, share my unique voice, and thrive on my own terms.
I do my own thing now and have absolutely no fear. I feel safe, knowing I have persevered. stellareddy.com contents may come and go but I have shown that the toxic tenants I had, have no power over any aspect of my life anymore. They can do as they wish, all I have now is the lessons their behaviours have taught me.
Long-term online humiliation can be an overwhelming experience, leaving individuals feeling trapped and judged. However, by embarking on a personal journey that encompasses self-acceptance, seeking support, and recognizing the power of vulnerability, freedom from the opinions of others can indeed be achieved.
My experience has shown me that it is possible to turn the darkest moments into a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. Ultimately, the long-term humiliation I once endured online became the stepping stone towards embracing my authenticity and finding liberation.