Out of all my life experiences, I have come to see there is always Hope that it will get better and I will be okay. I am still here, aren’t I? I have always had the power to believe everything would work out as it should. Maybe not as I want, but as it should.
You Will Be Fine!
I have always been an optimistic person, seeing the good in others and in situations, and believing that humanity is inherently good. I see it even more now that I focus on feeling gratitude for all I have in my life, including people. The more I am grateful, the more things I see in my life to be grateful for!
Feeling hopeless for too long is not in my makeup, and I am very glad about that. No one will ever understand what I went through in that fire and its aftermath, and how it changed me. I learned that the only person who could get me back to living an independent life was me.
It gave me such strong faith in myself and my ability to do what I needed to do, as I showed myself I could do it. Getting back on my own 2 feet after that was really hard, one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I did it so I know I could do anything. Getting over being Bullied is hard too, but I knew I could do it.
No one was coming to save me from the pain, emotional and physical, that came with the recovery of that, I had to learn to do it for myself and my children. It took me a long time but I did it. I knew I could do it again. It taught me that I can do it as many times as I need to!
I gained so much resilience from that situation, which helped me in all situations I faced that came after! The Smear Campaign and Bullying done to me by Adults I had as Tenants in my job, was another situation that changed me but I learned how to survive that too. I may have had doubts from time to time, but I never gave up.
After the fire I learned how my body worked and how to do physical things in different ways, after being Bullied, I learned how the mind works and how to think differently. Either way, I learned new things that help me live a more fulfilling life. I didn’t cause either situation, but in the end, I benefited from them.
While each situation was different, I learned how to manage them and get out from under them. It is all in my attitude. No matter the physical or mental challenges I face, I will find a solution, as I want to. I will always have hope!
They are so obsessed with me and my life, spending so much time, effort, and even money, in their attempts to get to me and cause trouble in my life, it shows how scared they are of having their lies exposed.
I want to live, and I will always find a way to do so.
My attitude has changed, I no longer look at the Smear Campaign and websites in my name as a problem anymore as after almost 7 years of these tenants coming after me on the internet, it has become a compliment. I now know that no matter what they try to do against me, they will always lose.
Last week, I got diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis throughout my spine and learned it is too bad for physiotherapy to help me. I am waiting to see a Spine Surgeon now for options but was told there may not be any due to my other issues.
As for my legs? There is nothing they can do, as my back won’t support the recovery of the knee replacement I need for both knees. They won’t even do anything about my right hip and the bone spur there for the same reason. Coming to terms with that this past week was difficult but over the weekend, I showed myself that I will always find a way to do what I want to do.
I still enjoy wonderful experiences! I know my body and what I can endure…
I went to see the Snowbirds the weekend in CBS and it was an awesome day! I share below a Youtube Video done by another Newfoundlander who was there! I have some of my own videos up on Facebook…
I stood around a lot and even got a bit sunburned, but it was worth it. Going out and spending time with my hubby, oldest son and future daughter-in-law is always worth the pain I feel afterwards. We had a great day, even went to Chess’s Fish & Chips for dinner.
Getting out in the community and engaging with others has become one of my favourite things to do these days! I am excited about what my future holds!
Read the article below, it contains so many helpful suggestions to develop hope in your own lives. It worked for me!
HAPPINESS
How to Develop Hope When You Feel Hopeless
Science-backed strategies for cultivating hope, happiness, and resilience.
Posted June 25, 2023 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
KEY POINTS
- Someone with depression, by nature of their illness, may lack hope that they’ll ever feel better.
- Hopeful employees are 14% more productive than their counterparts.
- When you believe that you have the power to make things better, you’re more likely to try.
Hope Defined
Hope involves a belief that you could create a positive outcome. It’s not wishful thinking—like wishing you’d win the lottery. Instead, hope means you believe that you’re capable of achieving a goal—like you could work hard and get out of debt.
Hope is also different from optimism. Essentially, optimism is about thinking good things might happen while hope often involves thinking about the action you’ll take to make those good things happen.
Optimism involves thinking about positive outcomes, regardless of the role you play. So you might be optimistic that it won’t rain this weekend. But if you have hope, you might hope that you’ll throw a good party even if it does rain.
Hopeful Feelings Can Lead to Behavior Change
When you’re feeling hopeless, not only will you feel awful, but you might not do anything to make things better. After all, you’ll believe you can’t do anything to make the situation better.
When you cultivate a shred of hope, you might take action that either addresses the situation or addresses how you feel about the situation. Even if you can’t fix the problem, you can always take steps to fix your emotional state.
You don’t necessarily need to tackle a giant obstacle or try to move mountains when you have hope. Instead, you might take one small step that could improve your life. Here are some examples:
- You tell a family member you are experiencing a lot of stress and you’re concerned about your mental health. You hope that they’ll validate your feelings, provide emotional support, and assist you in getting help.
- You tell your boss you feel overwhelmed with your workload. You hope your boss will understand and make some adjustments to your workload.
- You call the college admission’s office to talk about signing up for classes. You hope that you’ll learn skills that will advance your career.
- Your landlord says your rent is going up next month. You can’t afford the increase right now. But you stay calm and look at your options—increasing your income or finding a new place to live. You have hope that you’ll find a solution.
Why Hope Is So Important
Hope often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you believe that you have the power to make things better, you’re more likely to try.
What you hope for, however, might change over time. Rather than hope something good will happen, you might find yourself hoping you can handle the outcome—whatever that outcome may be.
For example, if you’re experiencing a health issue, your initial hope might be that a doctor will treat your condition. But, you might soon learn you have a chronic health problem and your new hope might be that you can live a rich and full life with the condition that you have.
Hope is an important factor for living your best life. Research shows the more hope you have:
- The less likely you are to experience depression and anxiety.
- The more likely you are to be satisfied with life.
- The more likely you are to report improved overall well-being.
- The more productive you’ll be. Hopeful employees are 14% more productive than their counterparts. Lopez, S. J. (2013). Making hope happen: create the future you want for yourself and others. New York, Free Press.
- The more likely you are to do well in school. Hope is a better predictor of academic achievement than IQu, personality, and even prior academic achievement.
Combine Hope With Gratitude
One of the best ways to cultivate hope is by combining hope and gratitude. While the two are related, there are some big differences.
Gratitude is about being thankful for something that happened in the past—or someone who has been involved in your life. Being hopeful is about looking toward the future.
In 2018, researchers asked participants to spend a few minutes writing about a time when they felt hopeful something would happen and then felt grateful when the thing they hoped for actually occurred. The participants were asked to identify the people they felt gratitude toward during that time as well.
After that quick 15-minute writing prompt, the participants reported they felt significantly happier and more hopeful about the future.
Cultivate Hope When You Feel Hopeless
You find you feel hopeful in some areas of your life but not others. You might feel hopeful about a new relationship while feeling hopeless about the economy. Or maybe you feel filled with hope about your financial situation while you’re struggling to stay hopeful about a loved one’s health.
When you feel hopeless about something, take a few minutes to do a writing exercise.
- What’s a similar situation you’ve endured in the past where you had hope and things worked out?
- What were you grateful for?
- Who are the people who helped and how are you grateful for them?
When you’re done, notice how you feel. Are you happier? Do you feel more hopeful about your current situation?
If you still lack hope, you might shift your focus about what you’re hoping will happen. Instead of trying to become hopeful that things will work out OK, you might focus on developing hope that you’ll be OK despite whatever happens.
You might start a hope journal where you do this exercise whenever you need a little boost in hope. Just reading through your past entries might help you cultivate hope when you need it the most.
References
Rahimipour, M., Shahgholian, N., & Yazdani, M. (2015). Effect of hope therapy on depression, anxiety, and stress among the patients undergoing hemodialysis. Iranian journal of nursing and midwifery research, 20(6), 694–699. https://doi.org/10.4103/1735-9066.170007
Day, Liz & Hanson, Katie & Maltby, John & Proctor, Carmel & Wood, Alex. (2010). Hope uniquely predicts objective academic achievement above intelligence, personality, and previous academic achievement. Journal of Research in Personality. 44. 550-553. 10.1016/j.jrp.2010.05.009.
vanOyen-Witvliet, Charlotte; Richie, Fallon J.; Root Luna, Lindsey M.; and Van Tongeren, Daryl R., “Gratitude Predicts Hope and Happiness: A Two-study Assessment of Traits and States” (2018). Faculty Publications. Paper 1464. https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/faculty_publications/1464
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202306/how-to-develop-hope-when-you-feel-hopeless
