“Wreckage”

Wreckage

I found this poem a while back and thought I would share it here as it has meaning for me. I was never much into poems, but the past few years I see more in them than I ever did. There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being but it is beautiful when they regain their sense of self. Nothing good about the pain felt, but what is beautiful is how we can take all that pain and use it to make us a stronger person, someone who becomes so confident in themselves nothing any person can say will ever sway them again. I believe in myself, and that is all I now need.

I refuse to allow the words of another to define me and how I live my life. 

I took all the invalidation being done of me as a human being, and turned it into the strongest self-validation that was ever possible. They don’t know me, don’t know how I think, not even what my motives are. All these Adult Tenant Bullies can do is speculate on my life, they don’t know for sure. They have no idea about my life. I have no need to heed the words of a stranger claiming to know my motives, to know me, as it is not possible in reality. It isn’t possible for them to know me, no matter what they claim. This is the simple truth and it is clear in their words. The little info they gained about my personal life thru the process of HRTO, wasn’t enough for them to make any claims about me like they do. The fact they claim my PTSD is fake, is enough for me to know they are lying about everything. 

Based on this thinking, I took all my courage and changed my life. During a pandemic, and a smear campaign online within 6 domains, I moved far far away and surrounded myself with the Atlantic Ocean to get peace of mind. I made the decision to get out, get away from all the toxicity within my environment and built myself a new one. I changed myself, became stronger became a person who don’t take shit from anyone anymore. I started living for me, for my needs, rather than what other people expected, or wanted.

I cut people off who don’t show me respect, who put me down. I created boundaries. I gave up working, for good, and went thru the grief for that. I studied their words, looked up meanings for them, use the fact that everything they write is negative and based on hate, to I learn why they write what they do so it don’t affect me as much. I came to see the projection they do.

I educated myself and with this education, I came to see. 

This is my life to live, and I get to choose what it looks like.

 

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