I have experience with EMDR therapy, as it worked for me in the past and it is working for me now. The trick is to reprogram your brain, by the acceptance of your circumstances and learning to think about it in a different way. As you begin, in time it becomes second nature for you to do. It is for me.
As it says below, it is about restoring my own power and control over my life’s story. Everything I write on this site, helps me do this.
I have re-trained my brain to accept I am being Bullied online by Kory & Allison Read, and there is nothing I can do about it, other than accept it and put in place protections for my name with internet services. It is also partly why I have my own site. I am taking back my control.
I accept that Adult Tenant Bullies have a right to their opinions, but their opinions about my life don’t matter, as they are not a part of it and never will be. There is no reason for them to be. I don’t need to allow anyone in my life if I don’t want too. I also accept that I am entitled to my own opinions too and I can voice them all I want as well. I can also do 6 websites that share different aspects of my story.
I came to see I have more rights over my personal life, than Bullies do! I decide what I do, not them!
They are claiming that I had so much power and control over their lives, that I was able to evict them, and every agency they turned too, helped me do that. I must have been some powerful woman to control all those people and make them do what I wanted! Time to show all that power!
I take pride now in the fact that I did my job as well as I did. I followed the rules and it upset a lot of tenants over the years, not just these Tenant Bullies. In my process of recovery, I reminded myself by re-reading my notes, that it isn’t the first time I was attacked by angry resentful tenants. This was the worst of it tho, to me, and lasted the longest.
I have come to accept that if I didn’t make any enemies of tenants along the way, I wasn’t doing my job right! Not everyone did like me, and I was okay with that for many years of my career. I am okay with it once again. I had no need to be liked by tenants and just had to remind myself of that. I never answered to a tenant before so I don’t need to answer to these ones either.
In 2011, hubby and I were working at a complex in Toronto of 5 low rise buildings for about 3 months. It was a short stint of work as I too feared for my life there and had to leave just before the 3 months probation was over. I was scared for my physical safety! While living there in that 3 months, I had my car windshield smashed, had lug nuts removed from 4 tires, trying to make me have an accident and even one evening I had my car stolen, but with help of the internet and security systems, I found out who and got it back. The people who stole my car were part of a ring who were stealing cars, stripping them and reselling them and one lived on site. They took my car out of spite against me but in the end, they were arrested with a bunch of their friends. The security systems helped to catch them.
Just after this the management hired security and I had a guard walking around with me so I was never alone, so all was quiet for awhile. I got up one morning to no security and was told it was cancelled. That afternoon, I went to go into the back entrance of the building I lived in, but as I went to put the key in the door, I dropped them. As I bent to pick them up, I heard a loud pop just above my head. As I stood up after picking up the keys from the landing, I saw a smoking hole in the brick next to the door. It was a bullet hole and if I had not dropped my keys, I would have got it in the head. I quit the same say and we moved out to a new job 2 days later. The person who shot at me was never found, but I left and had no more issues with any of them.
Being shot at was one of the scariest things I ever experienced, but it was personal safety, not so much emotional safety and I wasn’t as affected as much as I was with the Bullying.
Even though I was Bullied before by tenants, Kory & Allison Read are cowardly in their attacks compared to all the others I had. They post online anonymously, as they are too afraid to proclaim their ownership to these nasty sites, as they know what they do is wrong. If they didn’t, they would not be ashamed to show their ownership of them! They hide their association to their bullying online and refuse to admit what they do and why. At least every other bully I had was honest in their actions, once they got caught. They admitted to what they did and why they did it. Not these people, which is worse in my eyes. Hypocrisy is a terrible trait to have and they have it in spades!
I have accepted all this and am determined to proclaim them aloud as much and as often as I need to do so, for my own mental health recovery from such severe narcissistic adult bullying. No more denying anything, no more hiding! I will share my story of being bullied by tenants and in the sharing, I will heal my soul in the process. The pain is going away, I am no longer surprised by what they do, and I am adjusting to living my life knowing there are nasty domains online in my name but full of fantasies of the writer, not facts! I am accepting of it all and in this acceptance, I am freeing myself from the effects!
Funny how life works, isn’t it?
Below, is another post I saved from Quora Digest that explains EMDR therapy and what it does for me. It is a daily process but as each day that passes, the stronger I become in myself and my boundaries and beliefs.
I am happier than ever, more at peace with my situation, and so excited about my future!
Traumatologist, B. Cert. Neurofeedback, EMDR-AC 1y
How does trauma therapy work?
“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” Judith Herman
For a traumatized individual, understanding why they feel a certain way does not change the way they feel (overwhelmed, flooded, unsettled, hyperalert, etc, etc, etc,). For trauma survivors, feeling often overrides thinking. Emotions are not logical, and thinking about emotions, or even the reason for the emotions, don’t lower the intensity of the emotional responses. That concept works in many instances, as in when we are nervous, saying we are nervous helps, but that’s not the case in a system that acts automatically due to traumatization.
Trauma therapy focuses on affect regulation (remaining calm in response to stimuli) as the prerequisite for any type of meaning-making. The trauma therapist’s job is to, over time, help the client to gain control, and instead of surrendering to their own intense reaction, toggling between thinking and feeling regions of the brain.
The overactivation of the emotional brain (limbic system) needs to be controlled by the cortex, specifically the frontal lobes. In trauma therapy, the therapist works on teaching techniques for that regulation to happen. It’s not about talking how it horrible it feels, but about learning to diminish the pain until it goes away. And that happens only if the brain gets reprogrammed.
To reprogram the damage that traumatization caused in the nervous system, the individual needs to learn to stay in the present, to understand that their behavior and reactions are caused by the brain activity and that it’s not their fault, that there are people they can trust, that there are ways to feel safe and reach stability, that they can learn to tolerate their emotional reactions before they try to repress them, that their fear is a primitive defense, and that they need to develop hope.
Trauma therapy works when the psychotherapists address two fundamental aspects of trauma:
- the reconditioning of anxiety/depression (symptoms relief), and
- the pervasive effects that trauma has on the way victims view themselves and the world (perception)
The guiding principle of recovery from trauma is to restore power and control
The short answer is that trauma therapy works because it goes to the root of the problem which is the dysregulation of the nervous system. By working on reprogramming the brain, the individual then has the mental space, the objective perception, and the energy to feel motivated to rewrite their stories.