Identifying Toxic people is very important, otherwise, they could cause real harm to you and your life. Before I was Bullied so badly by Tenants in my last job, I didn’t know the seriousness of toxicity that others could show to me and just how terrible an effect it can have on me.
Toxic People Cause Harm!
I learned a hard lesson, but I am glad it happened later in my life. I don’t have to worry about it as much anymore, thank goodness! I am able to distance myself now from any situation I am not comfortable with and no one can stop me, as I am not obligated to anyone anymore!! If I don’t want to do something, I have no problem saying no these days.
I was pretty good at letting the caustic comments made by others slide off my back, as I knew who I was. At least, I thought I did! I have learned a lot more about myself since I have the time to focus! I have no one I have to answer to anymore, just me and my hubby, so I have a lot of freedom. I am better off now and more stable in every way than I have been in many years! Even my physical health is getting better managed!
I am sharing this article I read on Psychology Today about the harm Toxic people can cause and how to recognize the traits. I have read so many articles like this, and I still find something new in each one, which is why I will never stop reading and learning new things!
Education is the key to protecting yourself and the more you know, the better-informed decisions you can make. If you are undecided about the decision you should make, follow your own heart.
As noted in the post I read this morning, if you have to talk yourself into doing something, you shouldn’t do it. This post helped me make a decision I was undecided on for a few days! https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2023/06/30/how-do-i-make-a-decision-2/
When I look at the bullying I was a Target of, I can see these nasty traits now way better than I did when it first started. I am more sure of what I see in their written words and what it all means, thanks to writers like this who share their knowledge that I can learn from!
- Toxic people can be self-centered, manipulative, abusive, and lacking in empathy.
The self-centeredness the Tenants showed over how they wanted to pay their rent after I refused to accept cash, showed me all I needed to know. They had no empathy for my personal safety and stated in no uncertain terms they didn’t care what I wanted, they paid in cash since they moved in and that was that.
These Tenants wanted special treatment and not to incur extra fees like everyone else, to pay their rent.
They even shared in their own words, how ” I eventually had to give in” and accept what they wanted, which showed they became abusive towards me to pressure me into it. Their abuse is very much noted in their written documents and on their websites, you can’t miss it. To them, they are the victim, yet their own words bely all that! https://stellareddy.xyz/toxic-bullies-intimidation/
- Toxic people drain others’ energy by constantly demanding attention, sympathy, or validation.
I no longer wonder why all the other Tenants no longer have contact with these Tenants since they moved out, as their constant negativity can drain you. I even had my neighbour apologize to me before I moved out and they were their best supporters…
Once they didn’t get the attention and validation from the Tribunals in Ontario, they turned to the internet and created their domains, where they got very good at playing the victim making claims that so many people were “in cahoots” against them, looking for sympathy and validation for what they say. They wanted attention and were determined to get it, even as Anonymous writers!
They got off on the idea that their nasty judgements about me were online for the World to see, even as anonymous writers! Any way they can get support for their claims!
Toxic people also search anonymous forums to find support for behaviors.
- Toxic people tend to disrespect emotional and physical boundaries.
There is no boundary that Toxic people will not cross, professional and personal! They attacked my personal life and the relationship I had with my family members, especially my husband, belittling everyone and everything.
They may tell you they know more about your profession and how to run your life than you do. Having a toxic person ignore your boundaries can not only lead to a breakdown of trust in your relationship but can also cause you not to trust others in your life. You may find yourself constantly on edge, wondering when they will violate your boundaries again. This hypervigilance feels like a constant state of alert or fear. Any attempt to set boundaries with a toxic person will result in them working harder at dismantling them.
The stuff they wrote about my marriage was disgusting but what else did I expect from such Toxic People? The picture will show you what they had online about my marriage.
The Toxic Tenants I had pretended to know more about my job than I did too! They questioned everything I did, from how I delivered Notices and letters, to how I spoke. They allege I did so many things, all just based on their own opinions and perceptions of how they felt I should have done the duties of my job.
Yes, I lost trust in humanity because of their gaslighting and manipulations. I felt constantly on edge, just waiting for the next Viteroil-filled missive to come in the email or a nasty post to show up online on one of their many sites. It was a bad way to live but I did that for over 4 years. It was only once I got into writing for this site in April 2021, did it change…
Once I started “showing up” online in my own way, it changed for me. That gave me the freedom to be myself, even in the face of their antics.
Knowing my story, as written by me, is also out on the internet and has released me from the prison they created. I opened myself up to people, showed who I am, and got freedom from Bullies as a result.
Hyperviligence is a terrible feeling and the more I shared my thought and pain, the nastier the missives and posts got. Most of the posts on stellareddy.com came from me sharing that info that they then took and twisted, gaslighting what I said away. At least, they tried to gaslight me away!
I came to see they can try and tell others who I am all they want, no one will ever accept it as they are not me.
I can choose to surround myself with positive influences and create a happier and healthier life, as that is just what I have done!
My values are strong, my boundaries immovable, and I know who I am and what I want my life to be and I am willing to put in the work needed to get there. Looking after myself and ensuring I get to enjoy the rest of my life in peace, far removed from toxicity shown by others like the Toxic Tenants I had, is where I am these days.
Have a read and check out their site, you might find something helpful to you too!
Why Toxic People Are So Harmful
Protect yourself by identifying toxic people early.
Posted June 27, 2023 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
KEY POINTS
- Toxic people can be self-centered, manipulative, abusive, and lacking in empathy.
- Toxic people drain others’ energy by constantly demanding attention, sympathy, or validation.
- Toxic people tend to disrespect emotional and physical boundaries.
Some people seem to radiate positivity, while others leave us feeling emotionally drained and manipulated. Toxic people impact our mental and emotional well-being, leaving us exhausted and stressed. How do toxic people leave us feeling depleted and like a shell of our former selves? Learn what makes a person toxic and discover why and how they harm our well-being.
What Does It Mean to Be a Toxic Person?
Toxic people have harmful behaviors that can have lasting impacts on those around them. They are often self-centered, manipulative, abusive, and lacking in empathy. They may be referred to as narcissistic, selfish, or sociopathic. They may mask their negative traits by being charming or friendly. Toxic people may be family members, friends, coworkers, employers, neighbors, or leaders of organizations. Some common behaviors of toxic people include constant criticism, gaslighting, passive-aggressive behavior, and a need for power and control. If you call this behavior to their attention, they may criticize you for having an issue with their behavior. They will then falsely portray themselves as the victim and you as the perpetrator.
They Emotionally Drain You
Toxic people drain your energy by constantly demanding attention, sympathy, or validation. They play the victim role expertly. Their negativity and constant complaining can weigh heavily on you, leaving little room for positive interactions with them. Toxic people often manipulate others, including gaslighting their victims. This psychological abuse can leave you questioning your sanity, increasing anxiety and decreasing self-esteem. They don’t care if you feel confused or hurt by their actions. Showing them that you are upset can increase their toxic behaviors. One way to counteract this is using the “gray rock” technique, where you respond to toxic people with no emotion. This technique helps eliminate the payoff they get from hurting others. You should consider going no-contact or low-contact with a toxic person. Block their email, phone number, and social media accounts. If you co-parent with a toxic person, consider communicating via a co-parenting app.
They Negatively Impact Your Mental and Physical Health
The harmful effects of toxic people extend beyond emotional exhaustion. The constant tension and anxiety you experience from a toxic person affects your mind and body. Constant criticism and belittlement can erode self-confidence, making you feel worthless, anxious, and depressed. Toxic people isolate their victims from friends and family, worsening your feelings of loneliness and social withdrawal. When you are in a relationship with a toxic person, they may discourage you from seeking medical attention or therapy because they don’t want you to talk with someone to whom you may disclose relationship issues.
They Disrupt Boundaries and Relationships
Toxic people disrespect emotional and physical boundaries. They disregard your autonomy and personal space. Toxic people may stand too close to you and ignore you when you tell them to back up. They may stand closer to you to show you they don’t care about what you want. They may refuse to call you by your name, making up a nickname that you don’t like. They will insist on calling you this name. This behavior is a way to let you know that they have control and power in the relationship, including telling you that they know the best name for you. They may tell you they know more about your profession and how to run your life than you do. Having a toxic person ignore your boundaries can not only lead to a breakdown of trust in your relationship but can also cause you not to trust others in your life. You may find yourself constantly on edge, wondering when they will violate your boundaries again. This hypervigilance feels like a constant state of alert or fear. Any attempt to set boundaries with a toxic person will result in them working harder at dismantling them.
They Recruit Others
Toxic people often surround themselves with enablers or manipulate others into taking their side. They will use “flying monkeys” to check in on you to see if you have moved on from them. Flying monkeys may be family members or mutual friends who knowingly or unknowingly pass on messages from the toxic person. Toxic people also search anonymous forums to find support for behaviors.
A toxic person may tell you that other people think you are crazy. They will claim “everyone” knows you are a terrible person, creating the perception of an “invisible army” that the toxic person claims is against you. Toxic people will engage in this behavior both personally and professionally. Toxic people will exploit and undermine coworkers and employers, recruiting them to turn against you through threats, promises, or persuasion.
Understanding the harmful effects of toxic people is crucial for your well-being. Recognizing the signs and taking steps to distance yourself from toxic people and relationships can improve your emotional and physical health. Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals, seeking the help of a mental health professional, and prioritizing self-care are essential in protecting yourself from the detrimental effects of toxic people. We can choose to surround ourselves with positive influences and create a happier and healthier life.
Copyright 2023 Sarkis Media LLC
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202306/why-toxic-people-are-so-harmful
