The Toughest Lessons From Trauma

A classic sign of a toxic person is their unwillingness to be accountable or make apologies for hurting you. Don’t waste your time waiting around for one. Every single conflict they have will always be someone else’s fault. They are completely incapable of both empathy and introspection, often due to emotional immaturity.”

Some of the toughest things I learned with this experience I had of being Cyberbullied.

Toxic Adult Bullies I believe are completely incapable of both empathy and introspection and lack the ability to understand and relate to the emotions and experiences of others, as well as the ability to reflect on their own thoughts and emotions. 

They just do not care what their actions with their many websites do to people. I have told them over and over again how hurtful they were being, but they never stop, as they still have all of those domains.

  • These hard times, this pain, these lessons, one day they’ll be your strength, your blessings.

These hard times felt unbearable, causing immense pain and suffering. However, it is important to remember that they hold valuable lessons within them. Each challenge I experience moulds me into a stronger individual.

In the midst of adversity, it is easy to lose hope and focus solely on the pain and struggles. But as time passes and wounds heal, I begin to realize that those difficult moments have actually transformed me and made me a better person.

The lessons I learned during tough times teach me resilience, perseverance, and inner strength. They pushed me to my limits and forced me to confront my fears and weaknesses. Through this process, I slowly become more aware of my capabilities and grow more confident in facing future challenges.

Moreover, these hard times often lead me to appreciate the good things in life and the simple joys that I may have taken for granted. They opened my eyes to the blessings that surround me and encouraged me to be more grateful for every small victory.

As I look back on my journey, I can marvel at how far I have come. The pain I once endured becomes a distant memory, overshadowed by the strength and growth that emerged from it.

So, when you find yourself going through tough times, remind yourself that they are not permanent. They are stepping stones leading you towards personal growth and wisdom. Embrace the lessons they bring, for they will transform into your greatest strengths and blessings in due time.

  • Stop expecting honesty from people who lie to themselves.

Expecting honesty from people who consistently lie to themselves is indeed futile I came to see. When someone chooses to deceive themselves, they create a wall of denial or delusion that makes it challenging for them to acknowledge their own truth, let alone be truthful with others. Such individuals, like Bullies, often have reasons for hiding the truth or avoiding discomfort, which hinders their ability to be honest. They deny the truth.

Instead of expecting honesty from these people, it might be more beneficial to focus on understanding their underlying motivations for lying to themselves. What are they trying to prove? What do they think their lies will get them?

Furthermore, it’s important to set boundaries and protect yourself from the potential negative consequences of their dishonesty. Ultimately, while it’s understandable to desire honesty from others, it is crucial to acknowledge that I may not always receive that honesty from individuals who consistently deceive themselves.

  • You’ll never look good trying to make someone else look bad.

When someone tries to make someone else look bad, it only reflects poorly on their own character. Engaging in bullying behaviour shows a lack of empathy, compassion, and maturity. Real confidence and strength come from building others up rather than tearing them down. It is always better to treat others with respect, kindness, and understanding, as this creates a positive and supportive environment for everyone involved. This is not possible with narcissistic toxic bullies.

I made mistakes in the beginning, as I also made websites where I named these Adults and placed blame. While sometimes it is helpful to fight fire with fire, over time, it wore on me. It isn’t who I am so I stopped and now just focus on their behaviour, how it affected me, and how I get through it. I don’t want to become like them.

  • Life is too short to be unhappy because of bullies.

Life is indeed too short to waste time being unhappy because of bullies. Bullies can make me feel worthless, powerless, and isolated, but it’s important to remember that their behaviour is a reflection of their own insecurities and issues. I had to realize I should not allow them to define my self-worth or determine my happiness.

Instead, I focused on surrounding myself with positive influences and support systems. I found it helpful to confide in friends, family, or trusted adults who can provide guidance and encouragement. I sought professional help, such as talking to a counsellor or therapist, which was also beneficial in building resilience and developing strategies to deal with bullying.

Additionally, I remembered I have control over my reactions and choices. I chose not to internalize the hurtful words or actions of bullies. Building self-confidence and self-esteem empowered me to stand up for myself, set boundaries, and not let the negativity of bullies affect my happiness.

Lastly, I remembered that life is full of wonderful experiences and opportunities. By focusing on my strengths, passions, and goals, I can live a fulfilling life guided by positivity and self-love. I refuse to let bullies rob me of my happiness and potential— I embrace life, find joy in the little things, and surround myself with positivity.

  • Don’t be upset by people you can’t respect.

It is natural to feel upset when dealing with disrespectful people like bullies, but it’s important to remember that their behaviour is a reflection of their own issues and not a reflection of my worth or value as a person. Instead of allowing their actions to affect me negatively, I focused on developing my own self-respect and confidence. Surrounding myself with supportive and positive people who lift me up, and remember that I deserve respect and kindness, was helping me heal.

I had to remember that holding onto negative emotions wouldn’t serve me well in the long run. Instead, I tried to focus on maintaining my own integrity and surrounding myself with positive influences. Sometimes, it’s best to distance myself from those individuals, prioritize my own well-being, and seek out people who embody the qualities I respect.

  • Wanting life to be a certain way, but not having the courage to make it that way, is tiring.

it is frustrating when I have a vision for my life but struggle to take the necessary steps to make it a reality. It can indeed be exhausting and demotivating. However, it’s important to remember that courage is something that can be cultivated and developed over time.

Here are a few suggestions to help you build the courage to create the life you desire:

  • Self-reflection: Taking some time to reflect on why I may be lacking the courage to make changes. It was fear of failure, judgement, or the unknown that held me back. Understanding my fears helped me address them more effectively.
  • Break it down: I came to focus not on the entire goal or outcome, but break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Taking small actions consistently has built confidence and made the overall goal seem more attainable.
  • Seek support: Talking to trusted friends, family, or counsellors about my aspirations was instrumental in overcoming self-doubt.
  • Embrace discomfort: I now understand that growth requires stepping outside of my comfort zone. I am willing to embrace and learn from the discomfort that accompanies change and new experiences.
  • Find inspiration: Surrounding myself with stories of people who have faced similar challenges and overcame them has served as a source of motivation and inspiration for me.
  • Celebrate progress: I learned to acknowledge and celebrate every small step I take toward my desired life. This positive reinforcement helps boost my confidence and keeps me motivated for the long haul.

Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to take action despite it. Take it one step at a time, as I have, and with persistence and self-belief, you can gradually build the courage to shape your life in the way you desire.

You are worth it!! We all have the right to live our own lives according to our own values.

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