I also found this great article on Workplace Bullying on Psychology Today that also resonated with me and my personal experience.
Toxic Adult Bullies perceived that they had power over others and what they did, or didn’t do and unfortunately, the property owners’ response to receiving their letter on August 31, 2016, of ignoring it, hoping it would go away, was not the solution, as it just reinforced their beliefs.
They pressured me into “letting it go”, when all my instincts were telling me that these Bullies will not quit. I knew that as soon as I had to have any dealings with them at all, it would continue all over again. After working in apartment buildings as long as I did, you recognize the type of Tenant you are dealing with.
I worked with some fantastic property management companies over the years, and when Ontario Health and Safety came out in 2013, the company we worked for at the time hired someone to come in and train us in the policies and we did CPR at the same time. Part of this training was for Harassment, Discrimination, and Bullying in the workplace, what it was and how to identify it. I still have the book I was given then and even showed it to the property owners of Kennedy Rd!
At the time, every organization had to put in place their own provisions on these things for their employees but as this company, Alto Properties Inc. was small, they felt they didn’t need to do that, but they were wrong. It is the responsibility of every employer to look after the health and welfare of all their employees and protect them from the situation I found myself in!
I know that if the letter received on August 31, 2016, had been investigated, that situation would not have evolved into what it did. I also know they learned their lesson!
Workplace Bullying of me in person and on their many websites, even their applications with HRTO, was all about my humiliation, and a way to tell me I am not good at my job, and that I was not a good person, to erode my sense of self and to stress that I should “go use some rope” and kill myself. They clearly say that they hope I would have “another episode” where my husband won’t “stop” me this time.
The words that Toxic Adult Bullies have used to write their little false narrative tell the true tale of their intentions with the contents on the many websites they own!
There are protections for employees in Canada, through the Ministry of Labour, which is where I ended up turning to and they helped me get out of that situation, thankfully, and held the employers to account for their lack of action.
While money is nice to get, it allowed us the freedom to move back to NL with enough left over to live quite comfortably for some time, money is not everything to me and I would have preferred they take those funds to pay a Lawyer for Civil Court action to get the sites removed! I would have gladly stayed living there, and hubby working there, if they had done that but once they broke their promise to me, I knew I couldn’t trust them anymore and I had to leave.
I was no longer willing to give up my sense of self for other people’s comfort… I am grateful I did, as I am much better off living here, in the peace and quiet I have found, surrounded by so much beautiful scenery, and all the wonderful people, as it helped me heal.
I am off now, heading to the Mall for some shopping! With Spring here once again, I find myself wanting some new clothes, in bright colours this time, no more black! I already got my hair done in a new style the other day and went through my closet over the weekend, even thru some old stuff away! Spring is a time of rejuvenation, even for me!
Integrity has given me real freedom! Since I started aligning with my personal beliefs and using my voice by creating my own site, I no longer have any fear, of any situation!
“It is about persistent criticism and personal abuse—both in public and in private—which humiliates and demeans the individual, gradually eroding their sense of self. It is designed to undermine a person’s ability and convince them that they are no longer good at anything.” (Adams and Bray, 1992:49)
Harassment, discrimination, and bullying are all included in lateral violence.
KEY POINTS
- The bully is someone who believes they are in a position of power, which may be actual or perceived.
- The damage to the employee will further damage their productivity, which affects the organization eventually.
- Responsible management is dedicated to promoting a culture of respect, harmony, and collaboration.
- High turnover, a direct result of bullying in the workplace, is expensive.
In 2019, Monster.com did a survey of 2,081 employees. The company found that 94 percent said they had been bullied in the workplace. That would be an incredible 19 percent rise in bullying in the workplace over the last eleven years (Robinson, 2019). Why is this happening and what can be done? Are there any obvious reasons that may be triggering this trend?
“Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.” -British politician Lord Acton in the 19th century
Lateral Violence
What is lateral violence? Richard Frankland (2021) describes lateral violence as: “organised, harmful behaviours that we do to each other collectively.” This happens in families, within organisations, and within our communities. Workplace bullying and lateral violence are: “often…one and the same (Pontus, 2011).” Harassment, discrimination, and bullying are all included in lateral violence.
Workplace Bullying
“It is about persistent criticism and personal abuse—both in public and in private—which humiliates and demeans the individual, gradually eroding their sense of self. It is designed to undermine a person’s ability and convince them that they are no longer good at anything.” (Adams and Bray, 1992:49)
The bully is someone who believes they are in a position of power, which may be actual or perceived. Verbal abuse, threatening e-mails, or spreading gossip, are all part of the bully’s arsenal in the workplace.
The Effects of Workplace Bullying
The damage of workplace bullying is multifaceted. The employee feels marginalized and suffers from low morale and decreased self-esteem. Some employees may even become hypervigilant, depressed, anxious, and develop sleep disorders. The damage to the employee will, paradoxically, further damage their productivity, which will eventually affect the organization. Severe cases of bullying have resulted in employees experiencing trauma and psychic numbing. Understandably, litigation against institutional bullying practices is also on the rise.
Reactive Management
Most disputes evolve from people being too reactive. What does it mean to be reactive? Being reactive means blaming others for choices. Bullying is primarily a reaction to situations through your emotions. This approach can often come across as shaming, resentful, insecure, angry, or abusive.
We often assume that other people are on the same page as us, when in reality they are not. Bullying may subsequently arise as a derivative of our differences.
When these differences continue to be unknown, any relationship can gradually deteriorate. Reactive and bullying individuals who repeatedly respond to others emotionally, due to their differences, will damage their relationship to the breaking point (Wilson, 2023).
Reactivity comes from pressure and stress. Managerial reactivity comes from the top down. Upper management pressures middle management and middle management pressures lower management. Stakeholders and owners are putting more pressure as profits dwindle. Controlling behaviour becomes a by-product of a loss of control.
Responsible Management
Responsible management is dedicated to promoting a culture of respect, harmony, and collaboration. In responsible management, there is an absence of bullying through retaliatory scheduling, inappropriate workloads, verbal abuse, disciplining in front of others, posturing over workers, and unnecessary displays of power and authority.
The results of responsible management are the exact opposite of bullying in the workplace. Employee satisfaction is increased, performance is enhanced, and organizations will thrive.
The employee and employer will both benefit. High turnover, a direct result of bullying in the workplace, is expensive. The total costs of replacing an employee vary from 30 to 150 percent of their salary, according to Harrison Human Resources, which based its calculation on a business with 50 employees and 20 percent annualised employee turnover, or ten resignations per year.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/explorations-in-positive-psychology/202303/the-rise-in-workplace-bullying
