Stella Reddy's Story

I have learned so many traits of Narcissism that I see from the treatment I have received from the Tenant Bullies I had. 

I’ve been working on this list for a while now, picking up some traits I saw in the documents and articles I read online, even conversations with my doctor and in counselling. I have come to see that narcissists and Toxic people all have the same attributes and similar behaviours.

They live by their Ego and Pride. Nothing is more important than what they want, what they have, where they are in life, and how much better they are than everyone else.

If you cross them, look out, as you will end up with an enemy for life. They will do anything and everything to get revenge on you for what they perceive you did to them.

They will steal your name for a website where they tear your character apart with their many suppositions, name-calling, and embellished lies!

They will use various tactics to destroy your mental health and how you feel about yourself. They will try to brainwash you into believing their many lies.

I have come to accept that a defence where you go back and forth with the Bully is not helpful. It just gives the Bully more excuses to attack you.

Educating yourself to recognize the traits in play is what you need. Learning to see the traits in play in their words, will minimize their impact on your mental health. Don’t argue with them, take their words and use them to educate yourself on what to look for from others.

Become so confident in your own story that no one will ever make you doubt yourself ever again.

I have made great strides in this direction and I am so proud of all I have accomplished these past months. I made mistakes, but I learn from each one.

That’s the point, isn’t it? To learn, not just about others, but also about yourself and what triggers you into hell in your mind?

The more I focus on myself and my own mental health, the less I am bothered by what these Tenant Bullies do in my name. Every day, I become freer and it’s all I want, freedom of the mind from these Tenant Bullies! 

1. They blame a lot of things on you, other people, or the situation, They will steal your personal name to make and post websites about you online filled with malicious lies to triangulate you with the world and try to get people to hate you and instigate attacks on you!
2. They believe they are always right, over everything, even a job title you have! It’s your job, but they know all!
3. Arrogance and over-confidence. They are just over-compensating for insecurity, but their ‘confidence’ can be very convincing. They come across as so boastful!
4. They are critical of you, the way you do things, the way you say things, and how you do your job. Your very existence is criticized!
5. They say things like “I’m perfect”, “I have good genes”, “I’m special”, “I’m unique”, “I’m gifted” and “My children will become doctors and more productive in society than you could ever be”
6. They give themselves credit for everything and steal credit from other people. Like stealing credit for a daughter getting into medical school! Claim that they got along with all tenants, including my own sister. Claim they are perfect Tenants who do no wrong, and they have the cleanest apartment in the whole building!
7. They are charming and friendly around other people. But if you pay attention, you can tell there’s something fake about the way they’re acting. They always bring conversations back to themselves and what they want to know.
8. They might even have friends who haven’t seen their true colours and think they’re sweet and maybe an emotionally vulnerable type of person who needs support from others. 
9. They love to play the victim. They are always the victim. They blame others for their problems, never themselves.
10. There is something off about them which is hard to put your finger on. You have a gut feeling that something isn’t right
11. They lie, they might even boast about the lies they’ve got away with. So many lies, claiming they had proof that no one ever saw.
12. They are grandiose.  “I was put on this earth to tell people what to do” They voice concern over their possessions, and believe others are jealous and envious of them and what they have. They believe they are the “truth speakers” of me.
13. They say things like they would do a better job at running the workplace, and tell people how they should do their jobs. Constantly told me how to deliver notices, and manage entry to apartments. 
14. They are in debt. Also, they fall out with their friends/family because they didn’t pay them back, and they don’t pay you back unless maybe you remind them. They commit fraud, using her brother’s name to acquire services. 
15. You feel insecure when you spend more time with them. They make you feel uncomfortable with their obnoxiousness!
16. They don’t respect your boundaries. Have no problem telling you how to live, how to do your job, and even what to say! 
17. They use people for their own gain. Abuse is their trademark. It is a Pity play for attention
18. They get you to do things for them and try to blackmail you, into doing what they want you to do
19. They try to take on the leader role in a group, even if that group all know each other more than they know him/her. Trying to get a Tenant Association going to get the staff fired.
20. They say and imply that you need to change
21. They are emotionally abusive, especially when they don’t get their own way. They name-call, manipulate and triangulate
22. You feel like you qualify for a diagnosis of C-PTSD
23. They ‘guilt-trip’ you to get what they want or to shift the blame onto you for all their troubles.   
24. They don’t show much empathy when you’re upset. There is no consideration for what their actions and words do to your psyche. 
25. They brag about their ‘success’. How he is a stay-at-home dad while his wife works to pay the bills. 
26. They knock you down to build themselves up. Call you names, and make false accusations against you. 
27. You’re less than other people
28. They have low self-control and find it hard to resist temptation. They often have addiction problems
29. They have a sense of entitlement, they just deserve the best in their mind
30. They project their insecurities and wrong-doings on you. And their insecurities are “your fault”
31. You don’t trust them
32. They are expert liars. They can take a kernel of info and turn it into the biggest lie by embellishing it.
33. They gaslight you.
34. They put down and mock you, and their friends, behind their back 
35. They display crocodile tears, where they pretend to cry to get their own way and appear vulnerable and sensitive
36. Their emotions are over the top, and they are volatile.  You will also become an emotional wreck and often feel empty around them
37. They compete with you on everything, claiming you are jealous of them when there is nothing to be jealous of.