This article I found this on Quora Digest I just had to share this, as I like this person’s way of writing. It isn’t all applicable to me, but all narcissists show the same traits.
Fantasies, Finicky and Finished apply to them all!
I was never in a relationship with the Narcissistic Tenants I encountered, but I did work there and was treated the same way below when they didn’t get their way and got to control everything for the apartment they lived in.
Narcissistic Tenant Bullies are the worst!
They are so demanding and when they don’t get their way, they make threats, hoping to Bully you into compliance. When that doesn’t work, they make up lies and false allegations, and spread rumours, hoping to shame and embarrass you into silence. That was how it felt! It was all about control of me, so they can get their way!
Making up complete lies of allegations of racism against me, 2 1/2 months later because they needed something to use against me, was the worst they did. During that 2 1/2 months, from the time they claim this meeting occurred till the time they vaguely mention it in a 7-page letter on August 31, 2016, neither one of these tenants mentioned this alleged meeting, to anyone. At no time during any interactions, not even when AR got so upset at me for not taking her cash rental payment on Aug 1 and she recorded me on her cell phone, did either AR or KR, mention this alleged prior meeting at some restaurant?
If this meeting at some restaurant had truly happened as they claimed, there was no way they wouldn’t have used every excuse to throw it up in my face, like they tried to do later with everything else.
You can see KRs fantasy thinking in his writings, especially online. He takes great pains to claim, all the time, how he believes people are jealous of him and what they have! Making claims that I wanted to get into their apartment to see what possessions they have, stating I am jealous of them for having a brand new car and that was why I wouldn’t give them a free parking spot, and telling me in an email March 1 to call his children “doctor” and how they will be more productive in society than my children could ever be.
KR also takes great pains to post his comment at the bottom of every post on stellareddy.com, “ can not stand the idea that a Black female is more successful than they are, or ever will be. It is such as shame that they live their lives competing with others.“
Every time I see KR adamantly claim something, like this sentence, I now know it is a projection. How can KR know I can’t stand that AR is successful or not, to say with such conviction here? He doesn’t, which is why he isn’t being believed.
- From the threats in the first letter to the domains online, it was all about Control for them and they would try to Bully, harass, and intimidate you into what they wanted from you.
- When that didn’t work, they tried to shame, humiliation, and embarrassment with a domain online, even during all these legal processes.
- When 1 website didn’t work, they kept adding more, all in the personal names of each target, to make the humiliation and embarrassment, more personal. Each domain was added after a loss in the legal system.
They do these things out of revenge for their eviction. There is no doubt left anymore…
They do all they can to get a reaction that they could take and twist in their posts, claiming it is evidence of what they accuse me of. How is taking the words of another and giving them their own personal spin, showing what they say is true? I said KR “basically bumped into me” and he spins it to look like I claimed he did bump into me!
Giving the words of another your own personal speculations doesn’t make what you say to be true. These Toxic Adult Bullies are strangers to me and will remain that way. Everything they write about me is their own personal suspicions and speculations, not facts they can prove.
Toxic Adult Bullies thought all he had to do was say I was racist and it would be accepted, as I have come to see that all narcissists are arrogant and entitled. Read stellareddy.com, in its entirety, and see for yourself all the traits of Narcissism on display! He tries to make me sound utterly insane and batshit crazy and such a liar when he was supposed to be proving I violated their human rights instead.
Toxic Adult Bullies goes on these convoluted long-winded narratives filled with his suspicions and speculations on what the words I said, meant, not even caring that people reading it, can see he is guessing. Toxic Adult Bullies is making these outlandish GUESSES about my personal life and it is easy to see!
In the end they’ll blame you for everything and treat you like shit and ghost you. They will smear you to anyone and everyone. They will make you sound Utterly Insane. Completely batshit crazy. On top of all of this, they will be seethingly angry with YOU when they tortured you for months or years.
I CALL THEM the THE “5 EFFS OF NARCISSISM” better known as the:
“I DON’T GIVE 5 FLYING FUCKS” OF NARCISSISM”
Fast—as in a Lightning Fast Connection. Everything moves fast. Pushing for sex the first time you’re alone. Then: “Hey, let’s move in together! Yeah, it’s only been a week but I love you.” Saying I love you fast. Like the second time you see them. Never leaving your side.
Being with a covert narcissist is like having great cell-phone service on a cheap knockoff phone. You have a Lightning-fast Connection but without quality construction and good materials YOUR cheap phone will fall apart so fast it won’t matter how great your connection is.
Favors—things you didn’t ask for. They ingratiate themselves with you. Buying your favorite foods, running to the store, let me help, let me get you this, let me do that. Paying for small things—drinks, cigarettes, fast food, never anything big. But things you never ask for.
Coverts store these things up like long-lasting batteries in an Energizer Bunny and one day you’ll be expected to reciprocate. It’s now your turn to lovebomb them the way they lovebombed you at the beginning. When you don’t or won’t or can’t do this, the narcissist will turn on you suddenly and viciously.
Fantasies-they create a fantasy world inhabited by exactly 2 people. You and the covert. In that world anything is possible. You’re rich and famous. You’re the most beautiful. Everyone is envious of you. And you’re expected to buy into the fantasy 200 percent.
FANTASY ISLAND isn’t just a lame 70’s tv show. It’s where you and the covert narcissist live together. It’s where you both pretend the narcissist is perfect and superior. It’s where you pretend you don’t see all the godawful things he’s done to you.
Finicky – everything is their way or the Highway. You can do nothing right after a certain point in the devaluation process. Coverts will pick you apart for breathing. For existing. They’ll provoke you into erupting with contempt towards them, then use your reaction to confirm their own cognitive distortions and wrong thinking about you. See? You are a shitty person. They knew that. You just treated them with the contempt they expected from you (you were only fighting back but that’s just semantics)
Narcissists are like toddlers toting around a grownup body. And like most toddlers they can be FINICKY. Finicky Eaters are five-year-olds who refuse broccoli. A covert narcissist is finicky too—about your behavior, your tone, the mere hint of a double standard from you, whether you constantly meet their exacting standards of “fairness”, whether you utter sounds in the correct way to avoid offending their “royal person”, and whether you satisfactorily reorder your surroundings to best suit their comfort.
You best be digging for those freezer-burnt chicken nuggets because there’s no way the Covert will ever eat the broccoli you’re trying to FOIST on him.
Finished – they will discard you in the most calloused and brutal way possible. In the end they’ll blame you for everything and treat you like shit and ghost you. They will smear you to anyone and everyone. They will make you sound Utterly Insane. Completely batshit crazy. On top of all of this, they will be seethingly angry with YOU when they tortured you for months or years.
FINES. FINISHED. GONE. GHOSTED. YA BURNT. IT’S OVER. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. I’M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU BEGGED ME TO STAY. LET IT GO ALREADY. YOU’RE PATHETIC. LOVE YOU? I DONT LOVE YOU. I DON’T EVEN LIKE YOU.
You start out thinking you found the nicest person in the world. You begin by thinking you’ve found your soul mate.
YOU end pondering how broke you are and wondering if you can buy a bullet and rent a gun.
Don’t do that.
Do exactly why you’re doing.
Get on Quora. Read. Let knowledge lift you out of the poverty of human decency you’ve been existing in.
Let the victims of narcissistic abuse lift you up with the common experiences we all share.
At the end of covert abuse, or while it’s still happening, the worst part is feeling completely alone.
Quora let’s you know you’re not alone.
There are thousands of people just like you who have suffered at the hands of narcissists.
They’ve suffered, but more importantly, they made it through the wilderness, regained their lives and took control of their destinies.
AND TODAY THEY ARE THRIVING.
good luck out there -mylA