I have come to see that my anger was just an expression of hurt, fear, and frustration over the situation I went through. Thankfully, most of it is gone now, thanks to this site and my education!
Having personal info shared online by a tenant who gained it during a personal legal process, was terrible. Good thing I didn’t share too much, or else all that would be online too! I was hurt that total strangers were attacking me so personally, when it is obvious they have no clue who I really am. They were tenants for god’s sakes, not friends, nor family. There was no personal relationship for them to even talk about, let alone write about in such a manner. My pain of being so exposed by the actions of another person is demoralizing and very hurtful. I know that was their intention and they succeeded for a time. It didn’t take long though for me to find my courage and start defending myself against their lies….
I wrote about my fear, a lot, as it was the driving force for me for a long time. Having such nasty accusations of your character in this content made me fear for my life. I was terrified of retribution on their behalf, or even by them themselves. Accusations of racism, true or not, is not a good thing to be accused of. Believe me, I know from experience. Good thing people are smart and can read between the lines of their words and see the truth of these sites they have!
My frustration came from the ability of total strangers being able to take my personal name for a title of a website, where the contents were all about me based on their imagination from the little bits of info they did have. They made a fantasy website where the content came from their imagination and hate for me. The ability of companies allowing them to do that, especially as a anonymous person, is very frustrating. It shows me that free speech is accepted at all levels, even when it isn’t true what they say!
I have learned it is normal for me to feel the way I did. I will never feel bad over these negative emotions anymore. I have every right to my feelings.
I have learned to accept all these things, as I have no control over what they do. All I can do is go on living my life and finding a way through it and keep my sanity.
With my own website I am setting boundaries and showing the world that I will not tolerate what these toxic adult tenant bullies did to me in the past, and I will not tolerate their actions in the present. I will not be disrespected in that manner anymore. You write about me online? I will write about what it does to me and my life and how I get past your bad actions. That is my boundary. With this site, I let people know what I will and will not put up with and I show you what helped me get this strength to speak up for myself.
Doing this site, does not mean I hate them, nor that I want to hurt them back. I am letting them, anyone, know that I do not have to tolerate their actions in my name. I do not have to tolerate their toxic behaviours and so I won’t. I will point them out instead and let them know it is not acceptable to me.
This is my release of all this anger. It will be no more….