Why We don’t Talk about our Trauma
I thought to write about why I am sharing my story online today, as it is important to write about. I share my story to heal myself, as writing it out, has given me clarity and helped me see the truth. Writing my story on this site, has freed me from their nasty smear campaign and cyberbullying online.
I wrote before that if my Bullies didn’t want me writing about their actions in my name online, they shouldn’t have done it. That is very true. I am not responsible to make them comfortable! Why should I care about their personal feelings when they so obviously don’t care about mine? No one will care about me as I care about myself!
Everything on this site above I share, I use to feel. Self-protection was how others played on my psyche, by telling me I was making it worse by bringing attention to those sites, I would bring more people down on my head, and down on them. They just didn’t want the attention to my name, as it could be traced back to them. The property owners were bad with that, even sic’ing the lawyer on me at times for speaking up for myself, either with other tenants or in email with HRTO. KR is even worse, he degrades me all the time for speaking up for myself like I am not allowed to talk about myself and what I was going through. I was denied my voice for way too long!
You do a search on my personal name in the past and all those sites came up first thing. They still do, just on later pages. My name will forever be linked to this situation, all because of Adult Tenant Bullies’ actions on the internet. They wanted to cause humiliation and shame within me for those sites being online and it worked, for a long time. I came to see it isn’t my shame and humiliation to feel though, I didn’t do those sites and write that content, they did. They made this mess.
There is nothing in any advice I was given, that protects me, it is all about protecting other people. I saw that and it pissed me off. What about me? What about how I was feeling, don’t that count? It is my name they are abusing, with other people’s, in their domains, it isn’t them being abused! My anger was building, and I used that anger to sustain my voice for myself. I noticed that no one was caring about my feelings, just their own. Why should I put other people first, knowing that?
I write this site for me, for my own peace of mind. I did nothing they say I did, and I have a right to share my story the same way they have, online. I know it is there to be found with their sites, but I do hope my story will inspire others as others did for me. There is safety in that thought for me. Common sense kicks in, as there are always 2 sides to every situation. This is mine and I have a right to share it.
There are so many other people out there who have the courage to write their stories online, and they inspired me. If they had the guts to get so personal, I could too, and show what these Bullies have tried to do to me and my life, and why. KR made a domain in my personal name, where he writes about me, I could do that too.
The contents here show the education I have gained on Narcissism and Adult Bullies and what they do, and I have taken their actions and shown how it fits the definition of a smear campaign and cyberbullying, and they just don’t have the right to do it. I showed the nasty words they wrote to me, and about me to others, so you can see the bullying and sense of entitlement within. They think their personal opinions are facts.
I use to feel afraid of being bullied more by other people and was terrified for a long time of someone coming to kill me for the content they have of racism, but my sense of rightness got rid of all that. I have personal rights, I have the right to speak up for myself and show the facts, even show my personal opinions. I have a voice and am no longer afraid to use it. I have the right to defend myself against the physiological abuse being done to me online on a website titled in my own personal name, put there by previous tenants who are mad they got evicted, where they share personal information they gained during a legal proceeding, not info they gained by being a part of my life, as they are not and never were!
These Tenant Bullies did not have the right to steal my name for a domain title where they share their speculations on my personal life they have no business talking about. This was a professional situation that they made very personal with their personal attacks on my character and all the gaslighting they do of my very existence. Where do they get off?
Once I became educated on the many tactics I now see on display within their website contents, my self-confidence soared! You have no idea how freeing it is to finally have clarity over such a nasty situation and finally get free of the effects of their gaslighting and manipulations. I did a lot of work on myself with therapy and reading, and all the writing I have done, not just on my site! I changed my thinking!
I have become very confident in myself and what I did in my job there. I have recovered my mental health to the point where I am now once again very comfortable with myself and what I do. In the end, they caused their own eviction and no amount of word salad will ever erase that. I see now with my head, not my emotions.
My education on narcissism and bullying has caused my anxiety and fear to disappear, as I now know it is my life to live, not anyone else’s. What I do, is my business, not these Bullies. They are gossiping about me, as an anonymous administrator! They don’t have authority over my life and how I live it, just think they do! They speculate and as such, their speculations will never be accepted as the truth, as it is clear they don’t know me like they claim to do. They can’t, no matter how confident they come across.
In the end, I came to see that I too have rights and if I want to write my story of how I was so badly bullied by these tenants, I can. It is not only KR who can post and write a website where the contents are about Stella Reddy. Yes, that is also important to me. Why not? I am a person too!
There is no other person who feels what I do, who experiences things as I do. I am unique, we all are, and as such, we all deserve to live our own lives according to our own beliefs and to hell with what others think about it. I am not here to make other people comfortable, I am here to make ME comfortable!
Never again will I ever give in to “advice” on my personal life from other people who are not experiencing what I am. I have a right to be ME and do what I feel I need, for ME. It is my life to live, I am the one who deals with the consequences of actions done by myself and others, not anyone else. I have a voice and I have the right to use it, in MY LIFE!
I will always point out the hypocrisy being done by Adult Tenant Bullies, of writing in a domain in my personal name, anonymously, about my personal life, as it is my right to do. They complain about me doing the same, writing about myself on a domain in my personal name and sharing my story on this situation, just like they did.
It isn’t their life to write about in the first place!
That thought is what keeps me strong and able to write and share my own story. No matter how nasty they are towards me, I will show it, as it is important for other people to see how terrible a toxic person can be to another. My site shows all the traits in play in their actions, not just their words alone, but the intention behind them. I learned so much and wanted to share that knowledge and show how it is so very evident in this situation.
It is also important to me to share my story as evidence I am not guilty of what they accuse me of. I have been honest about how all this affected me and my life, as I don’t have any reason to hide. I refuse to hide, I have nothing to hide from. I am an individual who deserves to be here and write whatever I want in a domain in my personal name that I maintain and pay for.
Adult Bullies made their degradation of my life very public on the internet, so I share my story of their degradation of me, on my own site, also very public on the internet. I point out what they do to degrade me online and expose their names as the anonymous administrators of all these sites, including the rooseveletskerrit.com one, as it is important for people to see just how toxic and entitled they are over how other people live! Do they really have the right to bash me and others as they have? Just because they can do what they did, doesn’t mean they should. They crossed so many personal boundaries of other people, that it had to be pointed out.
Adult Bullies like this don’t have the authority to degrade me as he does on his websites, no matter what he thinks. As the person being targeted within their content on all their sites, I have the right to point that out. Simple really.
I am not ashamed of my trauma, or my mental health struggles. I am human. We all have struggles we need help to get through and you should never be ashamed of that. You don’t feel shame to go to a doctor for a broken ankle, you shouldn’t feel shame for going to a doctor for a broken mind either! Your mental health is just as important as your physical health!
When you feel confident in yourself and who you are, you don’t feel shame for seeking help, as I know I am not perfect and I don’t know everything. I don’t care what other people think about my mental health struggles and the fact that I had to get help for it, as I do it for me to feel better and to be a better person who thinks better. I never did feel shame for my PTSD and my mental health, as I didn’t do it to myself, it was an experience I went through. Every time I went for counselling over the years, since I was 17, I did it for me to get better and to THINK better. Just like all the parenting courses, I did when I was a young single mother, I did it to be a better parent to my kids, as I know I don’t know everything.
My PTSD, and its associated symptoms, do not make up the total sum of who I am as a person, it is just something I have. Just the many scars I have on my body and the signs of the polycystic ovary disease I am left with, are just things I have. Just like the daily pain I have from my physical issues, it is something I have. All these things are facts of my life that I deal with, but it is not all I am as a person. I am not a bad person because I experience bad mental health. I refuse to think that way!
I grew up seeing people struggle with mental health issues, like depression and anxiety. I myself have had issues with it since I was young and always got help, as I saw others around me get help for their problems, it became normal for me. My Mom also worked with the Canadian Mental Health Association and CHANNEL, for many years, so heard about mental health and the various issues people could experience, I heard about on a daily basis. I was educated on mental health and all the various resources around you could access, as I heard about it all the time. It was always a part of my life, so it was normal to talk about it.
This knowledge, I know, has helped me greatly in my own life and has helped me not feel shame for ending up so affected by these Adult Tenant Bullies’ actions. They did this to me, I didn’t make them do it. I have no control over any of these Adult Tenant Bullies’ actions, but I do have the right to expose what they do in my personal name, it is my name after all!
I refuse to give in to Bullies and allow them to bash me online as they have, I will point it out. That is MY right and I will never give it up.
