This article explains what Narcissistic Abuse is, and what to look for.
Narcissistic Bullies hope the readers will accept that they know me and will accept what they say I am doing. It is gaslighting, as they don’t know me. We were not friends, not co-workers, they were just Tenants living in a building I worked in.
The constructed reality of these Adult Tenant Bullies is that Stella Reddy is a racist and she forged and altered documents to illegally evict him and his family and everyone involved was in cahoots.
These Adult Tenant Bullies have tried for many years to have people believe I am what they say above, to no avail. The past few years have shown me they are wasting their money, time, and effort into proving something they will never be able to prove.
Adult Tenant Bullies intentionally constructed a false perception of my reality for the sole purpose of controlling me. I was emotionally manipulated over a long period of time into believing they have some kind of power over other people and can force them into believing their written content about me and as a result, ostracize me from my society.
I have learned from my education, that this is FALSE! No one can force someone into believing them about someone else, no matter how hard they try. Not possible. People have choices, just like I do, and cannot be forced.
What is narcissistic abuse?
Let’s begin today by briefly defining narcissistic abuse. In a nutshell, narcissistic abuse is officially defined as the intentional construction of a false perception of someone else’s reality by an abuser for the purposes of controlling them. It involves a sort of constructed reality in which the narcissist manipulates you emotionally and psychologically over a long period of time.
It can be difficult to figure out that you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse because it can be very subtle and pervasive.
When you have dirt on a narcissist that could tarnish their fake show of flawless bliss, they will
(1) smear your reputation to high heaven in attempt to discredit you,
(2) recruit everyone they can to bully you, especially “friends,”
(3) attempt to destroy you by removing your support system,
(4) “get out ahead” of the truth about themselves by telling people an alternative narrative, paving the way to make the truth into lies.
Be prepared for an all-out war the likes of which you’ve never seen. The better your dirt on the narc, the deadlier their attack will be.
Signs You’re Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse
Find out if you are being emotionally abused by a narcissist by asking yourself the following questions.
Does someone in your life:
- Act like you don’t matter to them?
- Act like you’re faking it if you’re sick, or even say it out loud?
- Act really jealous sometimes?
- Always expect you to take care of their feelings, but never concern themselves with yours?
- Always make you wonder if you’re crazy?
- Always push and cross your boundaries?
- Always seem to kick you when you’re down?
- Always threaten you?
- Become angry or sullen if you don’t go along with their demands?
- Become overly critical of everything about you?
- Belittle your accomplishments?
- Blatantly lie to you about yourself and expect you to go along with it?
- Cause you to become anxious about confronting them about literally anything?
- Cause you to lose interest in life?
- Cause you to not want to do things you used to enjoy?
- Compare you to others?
- Compete with you over silly things?
- Consider themselves the “boss”?
- Dismiss your pain if you’re hurting (emotional or physical)?
- Do things they know make you uncomfortable?
- Embarrass you?
- Expect more of people than is appropriate? (For example, getting upset if the mailman forgets their birthday?)
- Expect you to get over it when any tragedy happens in your life?
- Feel entitled to your attention and UNCONDITIONAL respect, regardless of how they treat you?
- Forbid you from doing things?
- Force you to account for your time?
- Get angry at you for things you can’t control, such as contractor cancelling or changing appointments??
- Get excessively angry without warning over tiny things?
- Ghost you sometimes?
- Go into your social media accounts and question everything?
- Have the whole “Jekyll and Hyde” deal happening – where one side of them seems charming or even sweet and loving, while the other is mean, spiteful and downright hurtful?
- Humiliate you in public or in groups of people?
- Isolate you?
- Lie about you to others?
- Make a point of telling you how unattractive you are or of pointing out your flaws?
- Make everything “all about them?”
- Make threats about how they will “ruin you” or otherwise cause trouble for you at work, to your family or to others?
- Make you afraid or unwilling to talk about yourself?
- Make you afraid to tell them your feelings, or to express your feelings at all?
- Make you do things that you feel are unethical or morally wrong?
- Make you do things you don’t want to do?
- Make you doubt your sanity?
- Make you dread being around them?
- Make you feel completely worthless?
- Make you feel guilty for anything and everything?
- Make you feel like hurting yourself sometimes?
- Make you feel like your opinions are not worth hearing or expressing?
- Make you feel like your reality is twisted?
- Make you feel like you’re always sort of “on guard” and hypervigilant of their moods?
- Make you feel like you’re constantly on edge?
- Make you feel like you’re living in limbo?
- Make you feel like you’re not allowed to say no?
- Make you feel ugly, stupid, or otherwise unsavory?
- Make you feel unheard?
- Make you forget who you are?
- Make you regret your accomplishments instead of lifting you up when you do something good?
- Make you the scapegoat for all the arguments or problems?
- Make you wish you were dead?
- Make you wonder if you’re even a real person?
- Make you feel like you’re always “walking on eggshells” or living with constant stress, anxiety or generally in fear?
- Manipulate you ?
- Minimize your feelings or act like your feelings aren’t important or don’t matter?
- Never apologize to you unless they’re trying to get something from you?
- Not concern themselves with your needs, ever?
- Pick you apart?
- Play games with your head? Tell lies in order to confuse you or blame you for something you didn’t do?
- Play the “poor me” game anytime they don’t get what they want?
- Refuse to admit wrongdoing, or if they do, it’s only if they can blame it on someone else?
- Refuse to allow any privacy?
- Say overly critical things about your body and appearance?
- Say really mean things to you and when you get upset, claim they were joking?
- Say they know what you’re thinking, even when they clearly do not?
- Say things that don’t make sense and get angry when you point this out?
- Say things to intentionally confuse you?
- Say you’re mad at them when you’ve shown no indication of this and then get mad at you for not admitting you’re mad?
- Seem to find reasons to rage at you even when you do everything right?
- Seem to have double standards – as in, they’re allowed to do what they want, but you aren’t allowed to do what you want?
- Start arguments with you and others in your life through gossip or other forms of manipulation?
- Take out their anger about other things on you?
- Tear down your friends?
- Tell you they know you better than you know yourself?
- Threaten you with physical harm or make you feel afraid of how they will react when you speak or act in general?
- Triangulate you with other people in your life, pitting you against one another?
- Try to get revenge on you if you make them angry?
- Try to pit your kids or other family members against you or each other?
- Use your insecurities against you?
All narcissists share, to varying degrees, these specific traits:
- An arrogant, condescending, haughty manner
- Complete self-absorption
- A total lack of empathy for others
- Epic entitlement and insatiable greed
- Disrespect for others’ boundaries
- Troubled relationships with friends and family due to their toxicity
- No accountability/responsibility for their loathsome behavior
- Suffer ‘narcissistic injury’ and fly into a ‘narcissistic rage’ at being reproached for their actions and behavior or if they perceive even the slightest criticism towards their character – can even become violent
- Bullying, manipulative and controlling behavior
- Irrational and illogical – can not be reasoned with, must ALWAYS have their own way no matter what
- Blatant and persistent lying about everything; deceptive behavior
- Love of money which means power and control to them
- Gaslighting – very destructive behavior towards others in order to control them by distorting reality and making others question their own sanity and perception of reality
- Projection – narcissists always accuse others of doing and being what they do and are
- Playing victim – narcissists always create drama and chaos around them, blame others for it and then play ‘victim’ to it all
- Have certain people in their lives to play certain roles – enablers, flying monkeys, narcissistic parents have scapegoats and golden children, narcissistic mothers tend to have ‘son-husbands’
- A total and complete lack of self-awareness for all of the above; narcissists live by a completely idealized façade of themselves though deep down they are very damaged people that are best to avoid when possible