I lived this experience and it was not a good one. I was Building Staff, someone who lived where I worked so I couldn’t escape the situation these Toxic Tenants created with their false allegations of racism and discrimination made against me.
The other Tenants, even the Property Owners, were all complicit in allowing the Bullying and Mistreatment of myself to continue by these specific Tenants. NOT ONE person spoke up to them, they just avoided the situation and wanted me to do the same.
I was constantly told to “stay quiet” and not give the Tenants anything else to use against me. I wasn’t allowed to defend myself nor was I allowed to talk to the other Tenants about the situation either.
Even after I quit, I would get calls and emails from the Owners and their Lawyers, telling me not to respond to the Tenant’s missives. I found that disgusting… I was experiencing serious mental health issues that put me in psychosis and in the hospital for it, and all they were concerned about was me not giving these Toxic Tenants “something else” they could twist around and use against them in the content of their sites.
Everyone else was more concerned with themselves and not being put in the position of possibly becoming the next topic of a new Domain made against them.
No one else wanted their name to show up on the internet, put there by these Toxic Tenants as they did with me using stellareddy.com. Everyone could see the content on all their websites and all the names they shared there, such as my sister, and Cherie White. They didn’t want themselves to be next, just for picking up for me!
One of the worst things for Survivors of any kind of abuse is the expectation that they remain calm and not react emotionally when they hear or read, such malicious comments being made against them as I saw. I found that impossible when I was so emotionally affected by what they did.
We stress that we are human beings who make mistakes, yet, we expect a person who is so emotional from being abused to be “calm” in their reactions to it all. As someone who experienced severe psychological abuse, I can tell you when your psyche is so affected, it isn’t possible to remain “calm” and not show your feelings!
When mistreatment is tolerated, it can create an environment where bullying behavior thrives. Bystanders who witness mistreatment but choose not to intervene or address the situation inadvertently contribute to the perpetuation of harmful behavior.
Society DOES need to change in this respect and start speaking up when they see someone being bullied or mistreated by others.
Every time someone stands by and allows this behaviour, it gives the Toxic Bullies permission to keep going.
Look at me, I started being bullied by Tenants in July 2016 and here it is July 2023, 7 years later, and the domains made to Bully me are still online. No one stood up to these Bullies, except for me. Everyone else still remains quiet. That is all on them.
Domain Providers need to stop allowing others to create a domain in someone else’s personal name!! It will go a long way in helping some of the Abuse to continue!
Here are a few reasons why bystander intervention is crucial in preventing bullying:
- Power dynamics: Bullies often seek power and control over their victims. When bystanders passively tolerate mistreatment, it reinforces the bully’s sense of power and emboldens them to continue their harmful behavior.
- Social influence: Bystanders play a significant role in shaping social norms and behavior. By actively standing up against mistreatment and promoting a culture of respect and kindness, bystanders can influence others to do the same, creating a supportive environment that discourages bullying.
- Support for victims: Bystanders who intervene or offer support to victims of mistreatment can provide crucial emotional and social assistance. This support can help victims feel validated, protected, and less isolated, which can positively impact their well-being and resilience.
- Changing the narrative: When bystanders speak out against mistreatment, it sends a clear message that such behavior is not acceptable. It challenges the prevailing norms and encourages others to rethink their own behavior and actions, contributing to a shift in the overall environment.
By actively refusing to tolerate mistreatment and standing up against bullying, individuals can help create a culture that promotes empathy, respect, and safety for everyone. It’s essential to encourage bystander intervention, educate others about the impact of their actions, and foster a sense of collective responsibility to address mistreatment and prevent bullying.
© Linda C J Turner
