I came across this article on Psychology Today last evening. I thought to share it with you today, as it is so important to mental health recovery to accept your emotions: good, bad, and downright ugly!
I am still practicing these things, and I have accepted that I probably will every day for the rest of my life, and that is okay for me. I am an emotional person who sometimes still reacts emotionally, especially when they are strong. I accept this about myself now, without judgment. I have feelings and I am no longer willing to hide them, but also know that I will do all I can to process and release them, as I know I don’t need to keep them.
I get very emotional over being bullied online within various websites created deliberately by toxic tenants from my last workplace, as it is a very emotional experience, but I am better able to control them. The pain, anger, toxic shame of so many nasty judgements, and humiliation I felt over the malicious comments made in the contents of these sites were very strong and brought out so many emotions for me that I had to learn to navigate. I am thankful I am strong enough to recover my mental well-being and that over time, I will only get stronger.
It was hard and took a long time for me to regulate my reactions to the narratives written by toxic tenants all those years ago but I found a way, mindfulness. There is one irrefutable truth that a lot of people forget about…I am entitled to my feelings and emotions and this truth sustains me. If I feel something, I feel it, and no one has a right to judge me for feeling the way I do.
Mindfulness has helped me greatly to accept myself and my emotions without feeling shame over feeling that way. I can tell you though that I will do everything possible to release those feelings, as I am worth it. Life is about more than worrying about what some random person wants to say about me, from so long ago. If they want to live in the past I can’t stop them, but I don’t live there anymore.
Once upon a time, I would be so focused, all day and every day, on finding a way to eliminate those domains from the internet and looking for references to my name online. I would spend hours emailing various companies and agencies looking for help and support, which I have received tenfold. These days, I don’t do that anymore, as I tried with no success, so I accepted the sites, knowing that in time, they would disappear anyway.
As for my name? I put it, and my picture, all over the internet myself these days so looking for references no longer matters to me. It is there these days, by my own actions. I refuse to hide away anymore and haven’t for almost 3 years.
So embrace your emotions, feel them, process them, and let them go. You will be thankful for it as your life will get better and you will feel so much better too!
Embracing and Releasing Emotions for Better Well-being
Understanding self-regulation and the power of emotional acceptance.
Posted February 5, 2024 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
- Emotional acceptance is acknowledging the authenticity of our internal experience.
- Self-regulation is the ability to manage and control one’s emotions.
- By learning to embrace and release our emotions, we can cultivate a healthier relationship with ourselves.
“Feel it. The thing you don’t want to feel. Feel it. And be free.” –Nayyirah Waheed
Emotional acceptance is the process of recognizing, understanding, and embracing all of our emotions without judgment or avoidance. It is the antithesis of emotional suppression, where we might deny or hide our true feelings. Acceptance does not mean resignation—it’s about acknowledging the authenticity of our internal experience and permitting ourselves to feel without criticism. It encourages personal growth and emotional resilience, allowing individuals to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease and stability.
Self-regulation is often defined as the ability to manage and control one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in different situations. However, it’s equally important to understand that regulating our emotions also doesn’t mean ignoring or pushing them away. A part of self-regulation is acknowledging and accepting our feelings without judgment. By learning to embrace and release our emotions, we can cultivate a healthier relationship with ourselves, leading to better well-being.
Mindfulness is being fully present in the moment without judgment or distraction. By being mindful, we can observe our emotions without getting caught up in them as they arise. This allows us to have a clearer understanding of our emotional states and the ability to respond to them calmly and rationally. Mindfulness also helps us to foster self-compassion as we learn to accept ourselves and our emotions without criticism or shame.
Self-regulation is the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses and to think before reacting. It is an integral skill in the process of emotional acceptance and release. When an emotion surfaces, it carries many physiological signals and psychological implications. By attentively witnessing these emotions—whether it’s the tightness in your chest with anxiety or the warmth in your heart with joy—you initiate a process of self-regulation. Instead of reacting in habitual patterns that may exacerbate pain or chase fleeting pleasure, you learn to navigate the complexity of your emotions.
Self-regulation often involves breathing techniques, cognitive reframing, or physical activities that realign your emotional state with a desired outcome. Mindfulness meditation allows you to sit with your emotions without attaching stories or judgments to them. You become more adept at observing the rise and fall of emotions, and, with practice, each becomes less intimidating and overwhelming.
In essence, self-regulation is not about suppression nor indulgence; it’s about honoring and understanding your inner experiences to promote emotional agility. When you permit yourself to feel completely, you foster an environment for growth and healing. It’s about making peace with your emotional world and using your insights to move through life with harmony and resilience.
Consider the practice of “mindful walking,” an activity that employs physical movement and mindful awareness as a form of emotional self-regulation. Imagine you’re walking through a park and feel the onset of stress-induced anxiety. As you walk, rather than getting lost in a cycle of anxious thoughts, you focus on the movement of your legs, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, and the rhythm of your breath. With each step, you accept the presence of anxiety, yet you refrain from letting it dictate your reactions. You acknowledge your emotions and use the walk as a grounding technique, allowing the physical sensations to anchor you in the present moment. This calm, measured response replaces what might have been a reactive spiral and demonstrates the power of self-regulation in action.
Let’s consider the case of Maya, a marketing executive who routinely experienced work-related stress. Embracing the principles of emotional self-regulation, she began incorporating short meditation sessions into her daily routine. When faced with a high-pressure deadline, Maya now pauses for a three-minute breathing exercise instead of succumbing to panic. This practice helps her regain composure and approach her tasks with clarity. Furthermore, recognizing the power of physical movement to complement her meditative practices, she opts for a 15-minute walk during her lunch break, observing her surroundings and the sensations of her movements to stay grounded. These strategies improved her professional performance and well-being as she learned to navigate emotions with grace and mindfulness, transforming potential stress into thoughtful action.