Share: Psychology Today: Six Tips For Self-Growth

As you know I read a lot of the articles on Psychology Today and they have helped me so much over the past few years in addition to other Bloggers writings.

Learning from lived experience is always the better way to learn, especially when it comes to mental well-being. Reading about the feelings and experiences of a situation in a book is quite different from experiencing it firsthand! Wouldn’t you agree?

Below is an article on the 6 tips for Self-Growth, which is so important to mental health. So much of this article resonated with me! I have been dedicated to my self-growth for the past 5 years, more so since I moved back to NL in the Fall of 2020. It has given me back my autonomy!

My career helped me learn to get out of my comfort zone, as I moved quite a bit over the 16 years in property management in Ontario. Every move to a new property boosted my ability to accept change, not just in my professional life but also in my personal one. It was hard at times, all the moving around, but it did enhance my life! I got to live in beautiful places!

Through my journey of being cyberbullied, I made a conscious decision to shift my focus towards understanding and deriving meaning from this unpleasant experience rather than focusing on the “why”. As I took the time to recognize the toxicity embedded within their behaviour, I found myself undergoing remarkable personal growth.

Today, I stand in awe of the resilience I have developed, enabling me to effortlessly brush off their taunts and bullying on stellareddy.com. Instead of allowing their toxicity to take its toll on my psyche, I choose to view their persistent actions of posting in my name as clear evidence of the toxic traits I have dedicated so much effort to understanding. No one, especially a past tenant, has the right to my story, it is mine to tell.

As stated below, “Trauma survivors reported self-growth that involved a change in their personalities, such as greater sensitivity, compassion, insight, tolerance, and empathy, and deepened their appreciation for the resilience of the human spirit”.

I have experienced all of these things, first after the house fire I had in 1991, and second, after being bullied in the workplace and have 7 websites in total, created to terrorize me for the past 7 years. Quite a few domains are now gone, but stellareddy.com and lorriereddy.com, with davidstrashin.com, are all that remain and were recently reposted as of December 13, 2023. Davidstrashin.com is even currently redirected to stellareddy.com and lorriereddy.com goes nowhere… sjtomemberkevinlundy.com has recently expired and 859kennedyroad.com is parked on godaddy. socialjusticetribunalsontario.ca and vanadanapatel.com are long gone…

January 17, 2020, marked a pivotal moment in my life as I attended the Hearing with HRTO. Despite my suspicions that the toxic tenants would not show up, given their previous reaction upon receiving the Notice of this hearing in August 2020, accompanied by a flurry of Form 10s attempting to postpone it, I held a glimmer of hope. As I patiently waited on the phone for an entire hour, my anticipation slowly shifted to disappointment when I was informed that everything would be dismissed due to their absence. Although initially consumed by frustration at the thought of 19 months wasted for nothing, I eventually came to realize the immense blessing hidden within this setback.

The fact that the toxic tenants didn’t show was validating, showing everyone involved that they knew they lied and had no factual evidence of their allegations, other than their personal opinions. To see that they expected their 300+ documents filled with their personal assumptions to be accepted as factual evidence was quite amusing!

Upon deep reflection, it became painfully evident to me that these tenants relentlessly waged a 19-month-long campaign to invalidate my very existence. They cunningly sought to manipulate the members of HRTO, disregarding my personal emotions and lived experiences, insisting that only their narrative held significance.

Each time I mustered the courage to articulate my fears and disclose my struggles with mental health, they shamelessly undertook a concerted effort to dismiss and discredit my perspectives, even going as far as labelling me a liar. They had a lot of nerve to say this stuff they wrote here.

Their ultimate ambition was to dismantle my sense of self, as you can see in this document I share below from one of their responses to HRTO. If I state I feel fear over a situation, no one, especially toxic tenants, has the right to negate that like they do in this writing. Seeing stuff like this over time did start my journey to self-growth as I came to see how wrong their actions were!

Over time, as noted in this article, I learned to strip away other people’s expectations, self-limiting beliefs, and other things that didn’t serve me and came back to my authentic self. Being retired has its benefits, the best one is that it has given me the freedom to be me!

Have a look at the article below and see if it resonates with you too!


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202309/six-tips-for-self-growth

Six Tips for Self-Growth

Explore why self-growth is important and how to achieve it.

Posted January 1, 2024 |  Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Cowritten by Zamfira Parincu and Tchiki Davis.

Self-growth, sometimes referred to as “personal growth” or “personal development,” is a process of developing new skills, attitudes, actions, or reactions that can have a positive impact on your life and increase your overall well-being.

Self-growth often involves an increase in personal resources, including self-esteem and coping skills, and changes in life and philosophies, such as deeper spirituality, redefined priorities, and a greater appreciation of life (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004; Taubman-Ben-Ari & Weintroub, 2008). For example, clinicians working with trauma survivors reported self-growth that involved a change in their personalities, such as greater sensitivity, compassion, insight, tolerance, and empathy, and deepened their appreciation for the resilience of the human spirit (Arnold et al., 2005).

Self-growth can look different for all of us. Some examples of self-growth may include:

  • Learning to control your emotions
  • Developing a growth mindset
  • Learning resilience
  • Connecting with your body
  • Accepting what you cannot change
  • Knowing yourself
  • Beating procrastination
  • Improving emotional intelligence

Self-growth might help you improve your relationships with your coworkers, managers, partner, friends, and also with yourself. Here are some reasons why self-growth is important:

  • It forces you out of your comfort zone. When you leave your comfort zone (that space where you feel safe and in control) and work toward the growth zone (where you can set new goals and find your true purpose), you can reach your full potential. As the saying goes, “The best sailors aren’t born in smooth waters.”
  • Self-actualization. Abraham Maslow’s (1943) theory of human motivation argues that once we satisfy our “basic” and “psychological” needs, the next requirement is for personal growth and fulfillment. This is important because, for instance, not striving for growth might mean falling into a state of passivity later in life (Page, 2021).
  • Developing a growth mindset. A growth mindset means that people believe their intelligence and talents can be developed over time, while a fixed mindset means that your intelligence and skills are fixed, so if you’re not good at something, you might believe you’ll never be good at it. Research shows that those with a growth mindset achieve more than those with a fixed mindset in school, jobs, and personal life (Dweck, 2008). Having a growth mindset goes hand in hand with self-growth, as it broadens the possibilities and inspires you to work on yourself.

Tips for Self-Growth

There are a few ways to grow; some might require a long-term commitment or investment while others might be easier to access. Some tips to get started on self-growth include:

  • Meditate. Meditation has numerous benefits for your mental and physical health. When you meditate, you practice and learn self-awareness, an important skill that can help you on this path of personal growth.
  • Journaling. Writing in a journal not only has cathartic effects on your mental health—it can ease stress and anxiety—but also has important benefits for your personal growth. When you write down your thoughts and behaviors, you can start to notice patterns, which is a great way to increase your self-awareness.
  • Read. When you read books, you get invaluable insight into human nature, what makes us tick and why, and how others see and interact with the world. Whether that’s about love, the inevitable repetition of history, or a totalitarian regime in a dystopian world, reading is a good habit for self-growth.
  • Use positive affirmations and words. Positive affirmations and self-talk can be helpful for your overall well-being, including a decrease in depression and an increase in life expectancy (Beigues et al., 2021). This can inspire you to start and get you motivated to pursue your self-growth journey.
  • Be curious and gentle. Self-growth doesn’t mean that you are not “enough” or that you should pursue perfection. Rather it is about accepting yourself as you are and creating a safe space for you to dig deeper into what you could be.

Less is more. When people solve problems, they tend to add things together rather than take things away, even when adding more goes against our best interests (Adams et al., 2021). When it comes to personal growth, some people tend to add new skills or certifications. Still, some coaches recommend stripping things away—for example, other people’s expectations, self-limiting beliefs, stereotypes, and other things that don’t serve you (Lee, 2019).

This post on self-growth also appears on The Berkeley Well-Being Institute site.

References

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