Share: After Narcissistic Abuse

I found this website back in 2018 when I started on my journey to learn all I could about narcissism and the toxic behaviour I was experiencing. As the writer of these posts, and the book From Charm to Harm, says, knowledge is power and the more you know, the more informed decisions you can make for yourself.

I recently broke down and ordered this book! I wasn’t in a relationship with my abusers, they were Tenants from an apartment building I worked in, but their actions have shown me the same traits. I too learned of narcissism from my Doctor after he read the 107-page “statement of facts” that was used in the HRTO applications against me. I am glad I came to see I wasn’t alone and I was able to get the help I needed.

As this writer also says, “There truly is Light, Life, Love & Laughter after narcissistic abuse” as I have found it as well for myself the past couple of years. It has taken a lot for me to get to this point in recovery, but I am grateful!

I am not alone in my struggle, I never was, I just didn’t want to see it. Not only do I have my very supportive husband of 27 yrs, I have my children and their partners, and my many siblings and their children and their families…. I still have both of my parents! I also have a few close friends and so much support online. Even my local Police have been there for me!

It has empowered me to keep fighting for my rights against Adult Bullies until all their websites filled with abusing me and others are completely gone!

About ANA

ANA was developed out of sheer desperation of the human spirit clinging to it’s last bit of hope.

Lost and confused after ending a long term relationship that at one point had felt like the greatest “love” of my life, I struggled to find answers and put a finger on just WHAT IT WAS that had gone so terribly wrong.

So desperate was my need for answers, I sat on my therapists couch, tears streaming down my face, begging him to tell me, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEE?”

His answer surprised me; and forever changed the way I view this world.

“You were in a domestically abusive relationship.”

“WHAT?????”  I asked in utter shock. “But he didn’t “hit” me?”

He answered with, “Not with his fists.  You are dealing with a narcissist. You have just ended an abusive relationship with a NARCISSIST.”

My mind whirled  – when I heard my therapist name what it was – I began to be flooded with many examples from the narcissist’s behavior that fit what the therapist was telling me.

The narcissist lured me into a toxic relationship with LoveBombing:  using charm, mind games, promises & flattery – sold me on a soul mate love that he’d never felt before and then proceeded to take every good thing he could from me; my love, my innocence, my trust, my sense of justice, my kindness, my empathy, my unconditional love, and my good name – and replaced it with abuse. Lies about me (he told others I was stalking him), death threats, false allegations,  got me fired from jobs, created a fake website about me claiming that I was crazy, delusional, a drug addict, and even talked poorly about my children, who he was a father figure to for years.

The therapist ran over the list of symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:

Lack of empathy? Check!
Boasting about his image? Check!
Perfectionism? Check!
Lack of boundaries? Check!
Expects special treatment? Check!

Obsessive Compulsive and sexually perverted? Check!

Pathological lying? Multiple serial affairs and cheating? Check!

Guilt tripping?  Check!
Passive aggressive? Check!
Possessive, Jealous, downright mean? Check!
Controlling. Wouldnt ‘allow’ me to have feelings or express them? Check!
Loved by everyone on the outside – but HATED by those who know the real them? Check!

I was dating the poster boy for narcissism

For the first time in many years….I finally felt that IT WASNT ME,  like the narcissist had blamed me for over & over.  It explained why I’d never been able to do anything right to ‘earn’  his “love”.

From that day on, I promised God that if he brought me through the darkness, that I would pay forward the knowledge of everything I learned through my lesson, about the narcissist, their red flags, their abuse, my upbringing with a narcissistic parent, my own vulnerabilities and how to never allow myself to be exploited again by another narcissistic individual; be it a boss, boyfriend, family member or friend.

My philosophy is very simple: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER  – I am making available all the knowledge I’ve gained as a result of this experience with a narcissistic abuser in an effort to help empower you and let you know  that you are not alone in your suffering.

There truly is Light, Life, Love & Laughter after narcissistic abuse, It is my hope for you, that you truly come to know this for yourself.

xo,

ANA

Remember EVERYTHING that they do or say has an agenda behind it – and that is to ALWAYS benefit their need for CONTROL and POWER over others. | After Narcissistic Abuse (wordpress.com)


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