June 3, 2023

I have a really strong desire for personal growth and change and have been working on my mindset, behaviours, and overall way of living my life for the past few years.

I have gained the determination to improve my mental well-being and embrace all the changes I need to make to achieve that. I do this for me, as I am worth it!

Once I personally made the decision back in August 2019 to relocate back here to NL, I started on my own personal journey of self-transformation! I recognized that I couldn’t heal my mental health while still living in that toxic environment and had to get away from it. I wasn’t happy anymore and knew my fear would not leave me if I stayed. I needed change.

  • The first stage, awareness, involves recognizing the need for change. This awareness often stems from dissatisfaction with certain aspects of our lives or a desire for personal growth and development.

I had motivation, to get away from Toxic Tenants and any possible chance of them coming after me physically. I was sick of seeing their car all the time when I got the courage to go out, and I was terrified of being recognized and attacked because of their websites. I was sick of feeling sick!

I needed the peace I knew I would find here in NL and I was motivated to get to it, Pandemic or not! It took more paperwork, and 3 months, to plan out a move to NL from ON during a pandemic and I even had to get written permission to move here, but I was determined. We slept in the truck on the way and didn’t stop much, except for gas and got food at the same time.

  • The second stage, desire, involves developing a solid motivation to change. This desire propels us on our transformation journey and helps us overcome obstacles.

Once I got here, I had to learn new skills, behaviours, and ways of thinking to help me get away from the extreme fears I had developed of people and social situations. I had to stop hiding away in my home and relearn the social skills I had lost.

I also had to get out of the mindset of being professional with people all the time in every interaction and learn to just be myself. Living where you work takes a different mindset and getting out of that thinking was difficult for me after living like it for so long, but I did it.

I dug deep into my own psyche and learned about myself all over again, my wants and needs, and found what makes me happy again! In the process, I have rediscovered hobbies and interests I had lost along the way. I am wearing makeup again and bright-coloured clothing! I have t-shirts and sweatpants, not just a uniform of black pants with a uniform shirt I had to wear.

I had to learn what it was about myself that made me so susceptible to their taunts and bullying and learn about the toxic traits I was seeing from these Tenants. I came to see I felt insecure about my ability to do the work required for the job I was doing due to the physical limitations I had, that were getting worse over time. these Toxic Tenants played on all that.

I was frustrated with dealing with pain every day from my physical issues and it was affecting my mental resilience in the process of being able to do my job effectively as I did before.

  • The third stage, knowledge, involves learning new skills, behaviors, or ways of thinking to facilitate our transformation. This stage often involves a great deal of self-reflection and learning.

I have spent the past 2 years working on myself and learning new ways of thinking. I have been in therapy, online, by phone, and in person and have studied and learned about mindfulness and practicing those new behaviours. I have done exposure therapy of putting myself in social situations with lots of people and it worked to help me get over that fear. I have been putting my new knowledge into practice and while some are still a bit hard, I won’t give up.

  • The fourth stage, ability, involves putting our new knowledge into practice. It is one thing to know what needs to change; it is another to make those changes.

This summer, I will get the chance to maintain the changes I have made and integrate them more into my personal life. This summer will be filled with social interactions, in groups and one-on-one. With my oldest son getting married later this summer, I am having great fun being a part of the process and meeting new people.

  • The final stage, reinforcement, involves maintaining our changes and integrating them into our lives. This stage is crucial for ensuring that our transformation lasts.

I gave up a lot to move to NL to find my peace of mind and did it gladly, as I needed the change. I quit smoking after 40 years, which was no small feat for me! I lost access to the Doctors who have helped maintain my many health issues over the 22 years I lived there and had to start all over again. Most of all, I gave up being able to see some of my family members that live there, whom I love very much.

Since I left Ontario, other family members moved to other Provinces as well to live their own lives. I have a family member now in almost every Province of Canada!

I am glad I am here, with my peace of mind intact. I am no longer broken.

I am here in NL and I will never leave again, as seriously, I physically can’t. My back issues have deteriorated so much that I can’t sit on a plane or car long enough now to be able to visit anyone on the Mainland. I can’t even walk as long as I could, even last year, due to my back. I’ll find out what’s going on with it next month when I see the Ortho specialist, until then, I will still do all I can do.

Believe me, there is nothing life can throw at you that you can’t get through if you have the determination to do so. I am living proof that you can transform your life, no matter your age or physical health issues.

There is always a way forward… Believe in yourself and you will achieve whatever you put your mind to! As long as there is breath left in me, I will live this life I was given, for me and my own happiness. I deserve it and so does everyone else.


The journey of self-transformation, a profound and intentional shift in our identity, remains fascinating for many. This process, often sparked by a deep desire for personal growth and change, involves a significant shift in one’s mindset, behaviors, and overall way of life. Understanding the psychology behind self-transformation can provide valuable insights into how we can effectively navigate this complex process. This article aims to delve into the psychological aspects of self-transformation, shedding light on its stages, influencing factors, strategies for success, and potential challenges.

Understanding Self-Transformation

Self-transformation refers to a conscious and intentional change in one’s self, encompassing various aspects of life, including personal, professional, and spiritual dimensions. It is not merely about making temporary changes or adjustments. Instead, it involves a deep, lasting shift in our identity, beliefs, and behaviors. Psychology plays a crucial role in this process, as it helps us understand the mental processes that facilitate or hinder self-transformation.

The Psychological Process Of Self-Transformation

Self-transformation typically unfolds in several stages:

  • The first stage, awareness, involves recognizing the need for change. This awareness often stems from dissatisfaction with certain aspects of our lives or a desire for personal growth and development.
  • The second stage, desire, involves developing a solid motivation to change. This desire propels us on our transformation journey and helps us overcome obstacles.
  • The third stage, knowledge, involves learning new skills, behaviors, or ways of thinking to facilitate our transformation. This stage often involves a great deal of self-reflection and learning.
  • The fourth stage, ability, involves putting our new knowledge into practice. It is one thing to know what needs to change; it is another to make those changes.
  • The final stage, reinforcement, involves maintaining our changes and integrating them into our lives. This stage is crucial for ensuring that our transformation lasts.

Several psychological theories can provide insights into the process of self-transformation. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for instance, emphasizes the role of thought patterns in influencing our behaviors. We can change our behaviors and, ultimately, ourselves by changing our thoughts.

Positive Psychology cultivates positive emotions, strengths, and virtues to enhance well-being and happiness. This approach can benefit self-transformation, encouraging us to focus on our strengths and potential rather than our weaknesses and limitations.

Humanistic Psychology, on the other hand, emphasizes the importance of self-actualization and personal growth. It suggests that we all have an inherent drive towards self-transformation and that fulfilling this can lead to significant personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

Factors Influencing Self-Transformation

Self-transformation does not occur in a vacuum. A variety of internal and external factors influence it. Internal factors include our motivation, self-esteem, and resilience. These factors can significantly influence our ability to initiate and maintain self-transformation.

External factors, such as our environment, relationships, and societal norms, can also play a significant role. For instance, a supportive and nurturing environment can facilitate self-transformation, while a toxic or unsupportive environment can hinder it.

Strategies For Successful Self-Transformation

Successful self-transformation requires a clear and realistic goal. This goal serves as a roadmap, guiding our transformation journey. It is also essential to develop a growth mindset, which involves viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.

Seeking professional help, such as therapists or life coaches, can be beneficial. These professionals can provide valuable guidance and support throughout the transformation process.

Continuous learning and self-reflection are also crucial. They allow us to reassess our progress and make necessary adjustments continually. Building supportive relationships can also facilitate self-transformation. These relationships can provide emotional support, encouragement, and constructive feedback.

Challenges In Self-Transformation

Despite our best intentions, we may encounter challenges during our self-transformation journey. Resistance to change, for instance, is a common obstacle. Change can be uncomfortable, and it is natural to resist it. However, overcoming this resistance is crucial for successful self-transformation.

Lack of motivation can also hinder self-transformation. Maintaining motivation over a long period can be challenging, but it is essential for lasting change. Fear of failure is another common obstacle. However, it is essential to remember that failure is part of the learning process, not a sign of defeat.

Unrealistic expectations can also hinder self-transformation. Setting realistic goals and expectations is essential to avoid disappointment and frustration. Overcoming these challenges requires patience, perseverance, and a positive mindset.

Case Studies Of Successful Self-Transformation

There are numerous examples of individuals who have successfully transformed themselves. These stories serve as a source of inspiration and provide valuable lessons for those embarking on their self-transformation journey. They demonstrate the power of resilience, determination, and a positive mindset in facilitating self-transformation.

The Impact Of Self-Transformation

Self-transformation can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. It can enhance our self-esteem, improve our relationships, and increase our overall satisfaction with life. Moreover, self-transformation can have a ripple effect on society. As we transform, we can inspire others to do the same, leading to a more positive and progressive society.

Conclusion

Understanding the psychology of self-transformation can provide valuable insights into how we can effectively navigate this complex process. While self-transformation can be challenging, it is also a deeply rewarding journey that can lead to significant personal growth and fulfillment. So, embark on your self-transformation journey today, and discover the immense potential that lies within you.

https://www.newtraderu.com/2023/05/22/the-psychology-of-self-transformation/
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