“Ruminating Effect On Stella Reddy- Narcissistic Abuse, C-PTSD, PTSD, And Anxiety”

Indeed, there is a purpose to ruminating. I have come to understand that rumination stems from the act of gaslighting, a desperate attempt by the brain to make sense of and derive lessons from past events.

Regrettably, I have realized that attempting to comprehend the motivations behind Smear Campaigns and the persistence of my Bullies, even after all legal actions have concluded, is futile. I have made the crucial decision to accept what I cannot alter. My sole option is to forge ahead and navigate towards a brighter future, unencumbered by the paralyzing fear these individuals imbue in me. I have made innumerable progress!

For an extensive period, I found myself mired in daily ruminations, with my ability to concentrate greatly impaired. The overwhelming written attacks I had to endure almost daily during the Human Rights Process compounded the turmoil within my psyche. It is undeniably difficult to purge from your mind the continuous barrage of derogatory words aimed at you.

You will never be able to enjoy the present if you are stuck in the past. I had to find my way out and leaving Ontario was the start of it. I realized that I didn’t NEED to stay there and continue living with the possibility of one day going out and being attacked by some stranger who got upset over the content in those domains online. I was terrified that someone would take his words of accusation of racism and use them to make a statement, as had been happening at the time. Why else did he change the wording if not to News Jack with current news for more exposure?

“Why” are you stuck?  It doesn’t protect you, help you, or change anything. What ruminating does do? It keeps you in those terrible places all the time. It isn’t good for you and it is killing your mindset.

So, essentially, you are keeping yourself stuck because you are perpetually trying to rework something over and over. Overthinking the situation.…and by replaying and ruminating over this you keep *re-experiencing* the emotions that come with the past – crippling you from fully engaging in the present.

I felt trapped. It got so bad in November 2018 that my husband came home one day and found me in the bedroom, banging my head on the brick wall by the window, mumbling the words “get out” over and over… I was trying to bang the thoughts out of my head… I did some serious damage to my forehead that day, and even got a concussion out of it… had to spend the night in the hospital, for the second time.

Ruminating → Re-experiencing terrible emotions → Unable to enjoy the Present

I am under the assumption that you are well aware of this situation from various perspectives. However, if you are not, let me clarify what was transpiring. It took me some time to recognize that my PTSD symptoms were resurfacing, and they were even more pronounced than before. While I often mentioned to people that general anxiety can be unclear in terms of its origins, I personally experienced a deep-seated fear of being targeted as a result of the hurtful words they wrote and their continuous manipulation involving others.

Most people do not think about the past much at all…and that’s how they are able to fully engage in the present. Enjoy their life. Connect with other people.

If we all constantly focused on every single shame, bad event, or area of guilt…no one would ever be able to enjoy much of anything. I was stuck in all the words written that played on my psyche. 

“How” do you get unstuck? Right now, the problem is, that your past is in the present. It’s like a time traveller in the wrong place bringing terrible things with it…and because of this, your focus is in the wrong place, and so is all of your energy.

You are still fighting thoughts so actively, that it clouds everything else. Your potential happiness, your potential enjoyment or connection. Your past is stealing from you every single day…and you have to halt that. Who wants to put all of their energy into something terrible, that makes them feel terrible, that they cannot change anyway because it’s in the past? It’s absolutely draining.

Who can feel happy or connected in the middle of that kind of fight? For a lot of people, it feels like being “stuck, trapped inside yourself” as you report.

I want to ask you a question: Does the Past Actually Exist Right Now? It’s a serious question. Can you touch it, navigate in it, have lunch in it… What if it didn’t?

Consider if for a good 10 minutes….

How would your life change?

I’m going to blow your mind if you can understand this one fact…reread it if you have to: THE PAST DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE.

It may have existed *once*…but today, it doesn’t. Tomorrow does not exist either.

All that exists is today. Right now. Allow yourself a brief moment – JUST A MOMENT – to take that in. Find some relief. Some lightness in your emotions…

You are not trapped. You do not live there. You live here. You are free. You can’t change something that no longer exists.

Dare to allow yourself to feel that freedom…even for just a moment. Whatever it is, whatever it was. It’s over. Once you know what that feels like, build on that – strive for that. Be the person you would be if you weren’t burdened by it every day. …and seek some real help & therapy to get your thoughts reoriented to the present.

I deserve to be in the present, fully. Not someplace that no longer exists. There is nothing I can do to change the past, it is over and done. Going over it all the time, wondering what I could have changed or said differently, isn’t going to make it any better and it doesn’t help my mental health. I had to learn to shut it all off, once again.

In 1991, I endured the challenging aftermath of a house fire that left me diagnosed with PTSD. The haunting flashbacks and nights filled with a sensation of falling still linger, alongside the freezing panic triggered by the scent of burning wood. The unforgettable experience of falling from a considerable height, though lost in my memory, remains vivid in my subconscious.

This time, however, the ordeal was different, extending its grip over a prolonged duration. My doctor explained that once diagnosed with PTSD, it becomes a lifelong struggle, where managing symptoms is the only recourse, as they never truly vanish. This recent situation only served to amplify those symptoms, revealing the complex nature of my affliction.

From my doctor, I was introduced to the concept of narcissism. It was in November 2018 that I started seeing this enlightening professional, and he diligently reviewed every piece of evidence I acquired during the HRTO process, as we met twice a week. Unfortunately, the outbreak of the pandemic halted our progress in February 2020, but I find solace in reaching out to the Mental Health Crisis line, forming relationships with its compassionate responders.

I now perceive that Toxic Adult Bullies disregard the beliefs of others, solely focused on impacting me by any means possible. They deliberately created these online platforms, intentionally aiming to disturb my peace of mind. Fortunately, as I awaken to this realization and pour my story onto this site, I am gradually releasing their hold on my spirit. Toxic Adult Bullies will persist in their disruptive endeavours, but I am determined to detach myself from their malicious intentions.

The narcissist will try to gain control by questioning the victim’s perception of an event, creating doubt and insecurity in them. They will lie and cause confusion so that a victim’s memory of an event is challenged, causing them to question their own judgement and in the end, even sanity. It is a cruel way of ensuring a deterioration of mental health and an increase of dependency on the narcissist, giving them more power to abuse and inflict pain and cruelty.

Gaslighting is used to confuse you and to create self-doubt. You are being gaslighted when someone tries to convince you:

  1. No the occurrence was not as you recall but as the abuser recalls
  2. Although you wish to stress a point because you feel hurt, the way the abuser twists things, you end up apologizing

Soon enough this abuser will cause you to doubt yourself and every decision you take. Or just perhaps you may think that you have lost your sanity!

Re-manipulation – gaslighting is an example of manipulation. The abuser is trying to make you trust other people’s judgement more than your own.

Abusers typically use fear, obligation, and guilt-tripping to manipulate you. When you fear someone, you will be more submissive. You can clearly see the gaslighting in the comments below… I can’t share all of them, it’s too much on their domains, but the below will give you an idea of what to look for. Actually, any words where you see Toxic Adult Bullies blatantly telling you something that I did and the details he gives on it, are gaslighting. 

Toxic Adult Bullies states that Stella Reddy ‘is not afraid to try and bully her employers around” “has no problem taking or threatening to take “and has contentiously lied and upheld these deliberate lies” “Stella Reddy could have”.  All sentences like this are gaslighting, where Toxic Adult Bullies is trying to change the narrative from what it really was, to what he wanted it to be. 

This site was created as an information sharing site to alert the public as to the anti-black and racist behavior of the Stella Reddy 

Stella Reddy is allegedly no longer a Property Manager 

The racist and anti-black quotes below also show how Stella Reddy is not afraid to try an bully her employers around, to get what she wants by making claims against them to the Ministry of Labour.

As you can read in Stella Reddy’s own racist words and behavior. She is shown as a bully who without fear, makes open threatens physical violence, threats of harm to tenants children, uses racial slurs and actions against interracial tenants.

Also as you can also read, Stella Reddy has no problem taking or threatening to take her employers to the Ministry of Labor because she is pissed of at them and does it just out of of retaliation.

All of the pages below contain gaslighting and items I remunerated on for so long… Toxic Adult Bullies is trying to convince not only you but also myself, that I had a title in my job that I did not, just so he can claim “It will negate her responsibilities and her accountability for her past racist actions and behaviour.” How, I have no idea. It doesn’t matter what job title you have if you do inappropriate things. Every person is accountable for their own actions, including Toxic Adult Bullies. 

https://stellareddy.com/property-manager-page-1of5/, https://stellareddy.com/property-manager-page-2of5/, https://stellareddy.com/property-manager-page-3of5/, https://stellareddy.com/property-manager-page-4of5/, https://stellareddy.com/property-manager-page-5of5/

Although Stella Reddy allegedly claims that that she is not employed by Alto Properties Inc. 

Because Stella Reddy is a compulsive liar and is willing to throw anyone, including her past and current employers under the bus in what appears to be her trying to save her own ass and reputation.

Stella Reddy is willing to deliberately lie, even when confronted with indisputable facts and evidence that shows her to be the liar that she is.

Stella Reddy has contentiously lied and upheld these deliberate lies in her attempt to try distance, justify and deflect from her racist behaviour against interracial married couples/tenants at Kennedy Road.

Let us note that there is absolutely no reason for Stella Reddy to try and lie about her job title. It makes no difference what her job title was at Kennedy Road.

So for the past two years Stella Reddy has been making the senseless and pointless argument that she was never the property manager at Kennedy, but simple the superintendent.

Now let us take the time to look over the evidence that clearly shows and contradicts Stella Reddy and her I was a superitendent lie.

Let’s look at the Stella Reddy’s own documents and words that prove she was proudly promoting herself as the property manager.

It appears that Stella Reddy is try to use some form of foolishness to deflect everyone from the fact that it is the same thing!

Again one can not be sure as to why Stella Reddy is so concerned about being labelled as a property manger verse superintendent?

What is interesting that Stella Reddy relies upon “ the rules and regulations of property management to speak for ” her, despite she is allegedly just a “ superintendent ”

It should be noted that there is no “ rules and regulations ” specifically labelled with the words “ property management ” that Stella Reddy is referring to.

Why wouldn’t have Stella Reddy said – I use the rules and regulations for superintendents to speak for me?

Could this be a Freudian slip on the behalf of Stella Reddy?

Is this her sub-conscious talking the actual truth about her actual position with Alto Properties Inc.?

Again Stella Reddy has just stated that she manages the property at  Kennedy Road. So it appears that she is the property manager, despite her claims she is not.

And yet again, it appears that this is another Freudian slip by Stella Reddy by her sub-conscious who wants to tell the truth.

So we have now been established that for very some strange reason Stella Reddy feels the need to have multiple social media accounts on the same social media platform.

It is clear that for some reason Stella Reddy believes, that if she believes, she has down grading her job title. It will negate her responsibilities and her accountability for her past racist actions and behavior .

But in the end all parties involved are reasonable for the behavior of Stella Reddy.

The interracial married couple / tenants brought the racist behavior of Stella Reddy to the owners attention immediately in a letter. The owners of Alto Properties Inc. decided not to address the interracial married couples ( tenants ) concerns, because cheap labor was more important that issues of racism by their staff!

So Stella Reddy claims that she was never the property manager and was the superintendent / janitor. Then what was she the manager of?

  • Was she the manger of garabge pic-up?
  • Was she the manager of grass cutting?
  • Maybe she was the manager for stair-well safety?

You see despite the numerous social media accounts where Stella Reddy loves to brag about her Property Management titles. Or the statements she makes like ” My husband, and I have worked in PROPERTY MANAGEMENT“ Or the endless amounts of time she use the proerty mamngerment email, address and phone number when dealing with Alto Properties business. Stella Reddy wants to continue to claim she was not a property manger.

Just another case of the trivial Stella Reddy lying because she feels cornered and caught in her racist behavior.

Because Stella Reddy claimed to be the Property Manager. City of Toronto Standards Officer just did not magically give her the title, Stella Reddy used it for herself because that is what Stella Reddy likes to do. Pretend that she is important.

 


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