Rise Above Toxic Behaviour

I remember vividly the day I walked into my new workplace seven and a half years ago, excited and filled with hope for what the future holds. Little did I know that I was about to embark on a journey that would leave me scarred and haunted by the memories of being bullied by strangers from my past workplace.

As I sit here today, reflecting on those dark times, a flurry of thoughts rush through my mind, reminding me of the emotional rollercoaster I had endured. In the early days, I went looking for my own revenge, stooping to their level of naming and shaming them in my content. As that isn’t who I am, I had to find another way. By focusing on the behaviour I was seeing, and the words I was reading, I was able to ignore the individual doing these things, which was my way out.

I had realized that true healing wouldn’t come from seeking revenge or sinking to their level. It would come from within myself, from finding the resilience to rise above their cruelty and find my own sense of peace.

In the beginning, I was confused as to why these individuals seemed so determined to single me out and make my life so unbearable. I questioned my own worth and wondered what it was about me that had triggered such hatred from these strangers. They didn’t know me, yet they seemed hell-bent on tearing me apart anyway.

As time went on, these random strangers’ relentless torment began to consume my thoughts and infiltrate every aspect of my life. It’s amazing how their words and actions could worm their way into my consciousness, planting seeds of doubt and self-loathing. I started second-guessing myself at every turn, constantly replaying their hurtful comments in my mind, searching for any indication that I had done something to deserve such treatment. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and insecurity, with their snide remarks echoing in my ears long after.

During those dark times, I couldn’t help but question the intentions of those around me. I started scrutinizing every word, and every gesture, searching for any signs of insincerity or ulterior motives. I became paranoid, believing that every friendly conversation was a ruse, that every smile was laced with hidden malice. It’s amazing how long-lasting the effects of bullying can be, making it difficult to form new relationships or trust others for fear of being hurt once again.

Moreover, being bullied by strangers from my past workplace left me grappling with my own identity. I questioned who I truly was and whether there was something inherently wrong with me. Their repeated attacks chipped away at my self-esteem, leaving me feeling unworthy and unlovable. The confidence I had once possessed shattered into a million pieces, and I struggled to find the strength to rebuild it from scratch.

It took me years to finally accept that their words were no reflection of my true worth, and the battle to regain my self-assurance was a long and arduous one.

Now, almost 4 years after leaving that toxic environment, I can say that it hasn’t been an easy journey, but it has been an enlightening one. I will never go back to that insecure person! Over time, I’ve come to understand that being bullied by strangers is not a reflection of my flaws, but rather a reflection of their own insecurities and issues. They sought to bring me down because I represented something they lacked or feared, and their actions were fueled by their own inner turmoil.

I had to find a way to leave them in their misery and focus on myself and healing from the toxic behaviours they showed me, and I am very happy I did! My life has become so much better with ignoring them!

I’ve learned that healing from the wounds of the past is a continuous process. It involves acknowledging the pain and trauma, but also forgiving myself for any perceived shortcomings. It’s about reshaping my narrative, reclaiming my worth, and finding my own voice in a world that sometimes feels too loud and unkind. It’s about surrounding myself with positivity, nurturing the relationships that uplift and support me, and letting go of the toxic influences that seek to hold me back.

In retrospect, those strangers from my past workplace no longer hold power over me. The negative thoughts they planted in my mind have been replaced by a newfound resilience and a recognition of my own strength. Their actions, though painful at the time, have catalyzed personal growth and a reminder of the importance of empathy and compassion in our interactions with others. I had to get educated on the toxic behaviour I was seeing and now that I have it, I won’t be fooled by their bluster anymore.

To anyone who has ever experienced bullying, whether it be from strangers or familiar faces, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your worth is not determined by the opinions of those who seek to bring you down. Remember that healing takes time and patience, and it may require seeking support from loved ones, friends, or professionals.

Trust in your ability to rise above the cruelty and reclaim your power, for it is in overcoming adversity that we find wisdom, resilience, and a renewed appreciation for the journey of self-discovery.

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