Regaining your sense of safety is paramount when you escape from Toxic Adult Bullies with narcissistic traits. As the poster says, when I first got away, it was very important to me for people to see and believe my Story of their abusive ways. The angry websites I did show that belief I had, but over time, that belief changed, thankfully.
The most important thing for me these days is that I know the facts of this situation and I have become very strong and confident in my Story. It no longer matters if anyone else believes me or not. I have regained my peace of mind!
I found this article below that contains 6 steps towards lasting serenity that I have been practicing since I found it in 2021.
As with anything, acceptance is the most important aspect of recovery from anything you face. Don’t ignore your feelings, they won’t go away. Accepting that I have no control over the actions of prior Tenants making and posting websites in my personal name, filled with their malicious speculations about the personal info about me they gained during legal processes, and thru my past websites, was my most important step.
I accept that they have a right to their opinions, but I also accept that how they express those opinions, is Toxic and shows they are being a Bully. I also accepted that I have every right to express myself, even on my own website, and I can share anything that is publicly available on the internet, including all the domains I know they own and manage. I have my own Story to tell of what they did, and I have every right to share it in any way I see fit.
I had to accept that I tried, but failed, to get the Criminal Code of Canada to work for me by contacting the Police in various jurisdictions, even the Ministry of Justice. I tried really hard to get the people in Authority to do something about their Cyberbullying but was told that as I had already gotten all their nasty stuff on LinkedIn and Facebook removed myself, there was nothing left that they could use. We have Freedom of Speech here in Canada, and I can use it to my advantage as well. I know now that their websites are being watched and if they cross the line, they will be held to account for that. the people who need to know, now know.
The main thing I had to accept is the many websites that contain my name and picture, including that of other family members I have. Over time, you learn to tolerate these things by knowing that no matter what, everything contained in their sites is pure speculation about you, not facts they have ever been able to prove to anyone.
It has been over 6 years, yet, I am still free of any repercussions from their sites! No one has bothered me over their websites, so over time I have come to accept that the general public doesn’t care what they have to say! They might think that what they have to say about other individuals is important for others to see, but it isn’t.
I accept that they are strangers, Tenants, therefore not familiar enough with me and my personal life to be able to make such blatant statements as they do. I know the truth and that is all that matters to me anymore. I no longer care to know what Toxic Tenants have to say, their words are irrelevant to my life and how I live it. All I see these days is the psychology of their words and the many narcissistic traits they show, not people. Once again they have become nameless and faceless to me! All I see now is their Toxicity!
Practice forgiveness, isn’t easy. I find I can’t forgive the Toxic Tenants, but I have forgiven myself. I have released the regret I felt for making my own nasty sites, like KR’s Confession. I even forgave myself for my reactions at times during the HRTO process!
There were a few sites I did in the past that were angry and defensive, based on my feelings of anger and resentment over what they did to me and my name that I felt at the time, and I even wrote some nasty emails to them. I came to see I had every right to those feelings but I also came to see that I was also responsible to process them to move forward. I was being abused by Tenants all because I did my job and enforced the rules of apartment living in Ontario. It was their over-the-top reaction to that eviction that caused this mess it became.
Mindfulness practices have helped immeasurably over the past couple of years. Being present, in the here and now, focusing on the sights, sounds, and scenery all around me, grounds me and gets me out of my head. Being mindful when I am outside, has helped me regain peace of mind as the scenery here brings me such peace.
Mindfulness has helped me accept this situation as it stands today and knows that no matter what, I will be okay. I’ve been through difficult times many times before, and in the end, I came out stronger and more informed. I will do anything I can to ensure my personal well-being as I know I deserve to be free to live my own life however I see fit. Facing my feelings, sitting with them and understanding where they come from, and understanding they are temporary and will pass, is important these days. Everything is temporary and will eventually pass. Nothing lasts forever!
As it says, mindfulness will “help you acknowledge, accept, and let go of the physical and emotional distress that might otherwise stir the waters of your mind.”
I have become very good at making time for myself over the past few years. I have no more pressures on my time! I spend a lot of time alone these days, seeing as I am retired but my hubby still works, but I have learned to enjoy my peace. I write on my site, read a lot, and play games. I cook, clean, and even bake! I also spend time with others and have no issue going out by myself anymore and striking up conversations with people I meet. Since moving back to NL, it took time for me to relax completely, but once I did, I was able to focus on myself and my own needs more and found a deeper sense of contentment over time.
I have kept a journal since I was 13 years old! I write out the events of my day, and my feelings over all of it, and it has always helped me keep things in perspective. I usually find that reading back what I had written, helps me see just how unreasonable my thoughts and feelings were over a situation, and it helps me release it faster!
Journalling has always been an important part of my life, and something I will always do, as it is very beneficial to me and my mental health! I even consider this website as part of my personal journal and writing on here has helped me release all the nasty emotions I have had over this mess. I have learned so much about human nature and writing it all out here, has helped me immeasurably!
Living in NL is like living in Nature! Everywhere I go here, I see greenery and flowers! Even my own backyard is abundant in Mother Nature where I have sat for many hours being mindful of it all around me. I lost count of all the afternoons I spent sitting outside, listening to, and watching all the birds and watching the leaves blow above my head.
The Harbourfront is another place I find peace. Sitting by the Atlantic Ocean, feeling its pull, eases my soul. I am in AWE of the beauty of Newfoundland and Labrador! No matter how many times I see this view, I still feel in awe of all its beauty, winter or summer!
Getting back to Nature has also shown me that in the scheme of things, my issues are minor and not worth all the upset I felt. I still get to get up every morning and do my own thing, I can join Dart leagues, go to concerts and community events, and I get to live however I wish, no matter what toxic Tenants think, say, or do, in my name on the internet.
I came to see I am very resilient and came to see there is nothing I can’t tolerate and get through, as I have gotten through so much already! I still have a lot of life left in me yet!
Peace of mind, also described as inner calm, refers to an internal state of tranquility. When you have mental peace, you might feel:
- at ease within yourself
- a sense of self-compassion
- unruffled by day-to-day worries
- prepared to welcome whatever life tosses your way
You might assume you can only find peace from within when you’re finally completely free of troubles, but that’s not the case.
In fact, it often works the other way around.
Feeling at peace internally can boost overall contentment and feelings of happiness, regardless of the challenges you face.
A relaxed and calm outlook can help you navigate life’s often-turbulent waters more smoothly.
Finding peace of mind isn’t as challenging as it seems. You can find peace of mind by:
- accepting what can’t be controlled
- forgiving yourself and others
- staying focused on the here and now
- going within
- journaling your thoughts and emotions
- connecting to Mother Earth
Consider these tips anytime, anywhere, to get started:
1. Accept what you can’t change or control
You can’t actually control your mind and simply tell it, “Be more peaceful” — just as you can’t control life.
Life is unpredictable. From time to time various challenges will surface, complicating your daily routine and leaving you anxious, drained, or even afraid.
It’s entirely natural to worry about a parent’s illness, or feel dismayed and angry by your recent job loss. But when you fixate on those feelings, they can eventually take over, disturbing your peace and making it more difficult to cope.
Ignoring those feelings to just get on with things generally doesn’t help, either. Suppressed emotions can intensify, leaving you far less calm down the line.
Acceptance, on the other hand, often does make a difference. Research shows that accepting your own thoughts and emotions is an effective strategy.
You can also practice cognitive reframing by reminding yourself:
- “What’s happening right now won’t last forever. In the meantime, I’m doing my best.”
- “This is a tough situation, but I can get through it.”
- “I feel miserable right now, but I won’t always feel like this.”
It’s natural to want to turn away from pain, so it can take time to get in the habit of acceptance. But as it becomes more natural, you’ll likely find yourself feeling more at peace.
2. Practice forgiveness
Feeling hurt, even angry, when someone wrongs you or treats you unfairly is an understandable (and completely natural) response.
Yet holding on to grudges or slights won’t do much to help you find inner peace.
Nursing feelings of anger, disappointment, or resentment takes up plenty of emotional energy and can contribute to physical and mental health symptoms, including:
- poor heart health
- sleep problems
- stomach distress
Forgiveness doesn’t just benefit the person you forgive. It could do even more for you, in the end. Self-forgiveness is also essential.
In fact, according to 2016 research, adults of varying ages who felt more forgiving over the course of 5 weeks experienced less stress and fewer mental health symptoms.
Of course, forgiveness doesn’t always come easily, with a snap of your fingers. It’s often a long and emotionally demanding process that goes beyond simply saying, “I forgive you.” Forgiveness involves compassion and empathy, not to mention acceptance.
That goes for your own actions, too. Going over and over past mistakes won’t erase what happened, but it can leave you mired in self-blame and regret.
You’re on the path to self-forgiveness if you’ve already:
- made an effort to amend the wrong
- committed to changing your behavior
Your next steps toward a more peaceful mind involve offering yourself compassion and letting go of guilt and shame.
3. Practice mindfulness meditation
Acceptance proving more difficult than you imagined? Sometimes a guiding tool can make it easier to let go of distressing thoughts.
Why not give meditation for peace of mind a try? Some of the many potential benefits of this ancient Hindu practice include increased self-awareness, reduced stress, and positive brain changes.
Evidence suggests mindfulness meditation, in particular, can promote greater awareness of the present moment, whether it brings joy or pain. In general, it helps you cope with emotional distress.
Mindfulness makes up an important part of Buddhist meditation. Buddhism itself holds inner peace as an essential aspect of well-being.
If you’re familiar with the concept of nirvana, you might know it’s often used casually to describe a state of euphoria or bliss. In Buddhism, though, this ultimate goal does reflect a type of inner calm — the peace that arises in the absence of suffering and desire.
Both focused meditation and increased mindfulness can indirectly help you acknowledge, accept, and let go of the physical and emotional distress that might otherwise stir the waters of your mind.
With a regular meditation practice, this acceptance can go a long way toward promoting lasting mental peace.
New to meditation?
- Check out our guide to the best meditation apps.
- Learn more about your options for online meditation.
- Explore free guided mindfulness meditations on YouTube.
4. Make time for yourself
While too much time alone can lead to loneliness, spending just the right amount of time on your own could benefit your well-being and lead to finding peace in a frantic world.
Setting aside space for solitude can promote some people’s deeper sense of contentment over time.
5. Keep a journal
Maybe an English teacher assigned daily journal entries. You completed the exercise grudgingly at first, but with more enthusiasm and commitment once you realized putting your feelings on paper did, in fact, provide you with a different perspective.
Journaling can help you process and express emotions you might otherwise keep inside.
Writing, of course, won’t get rid of your troubles. But you might find that committing them to paper helps ease some of their emotional weight and transforms inner peace from an exception to more of a rule.
6. Get back to nature
Do you head for the trees (or the seas) when you need some rest and respite from the daily grind?
An abundance of research backs up your instincts: Natural environments, green spaces in particular, can ease emotional distress and foster feelings of inner calm and peace of mind.
Spending time in nature can help you have peace of mind by:
- soothing worry, anger, or fear
- easing stress and promoting relaxation
- lower your risk for depression and other mental health conditions
- enhancing feelings of kindness and social connection
- improving concentration and focus
A few ideas to try:
- Visit a neighborhood park.
- Explore a national forest.
- Challenge yourself with a hike across rugged terrain (safely, of course!)
- Relax at a nearby beach or lake shore.
- Get your hands dirty with a little gardening.
Tip: No matter what you choose to do, consider leaving your phone at home (or powered down in your backpack if on a hike). A constant stream of notifications or the urge to refresh your social media feeds can quickly chip away at your newfound calm.
Working on finding peace of mind can help you weather the changing seas of life with more resilience and emotional fortitude.
While greater mental and emotional peace is possible for anyone, it may not happen overnight. Offering yourself kindness and compassion along the way — while remembering that patience also plays an important part — can make all the difference.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-achieve-peace-of-mind