Reactive Abuse: Losing Control After Abuse

Reactive Abuse

When being bullied by toxic tenants during my time as building staff, I began to see the concept of reactive abuse in a different light. It took me some time to come to terms with my reactions and the shame I felt over them. I lost control at times and even experienced psychosis as a result of the bullying. Being called a narcissist by those toxic tenants only added to the self-doubt and guilt I already felt.

The Applicants have changed their position in regards to the behaviour of the now alleged former Alto Properties Inc.Property Manager Stella Reddy. At first the Applicants believed that it was a Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour or OCD
But after doing this reply, it has become in their opinion that now alleged former Alto Properties Inc. Property Manager Stella Reddy is just a Narcissist

https://stellareddy.xyz/human-rights-another-reply-by-toxic-adult-bullies-sept-2018/

The Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario filing against me was a turning point in my understanding of reactive abuse. The applicants changed their position and labelled me as a narcissist in their reply, shifting from their initial belief that my behaviour was due to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This revelation forced me to confront the feelings of shame and self-blame that had plagued me for so long.

As I delved deeper into the concept of reactive abuse, I realized that my reactions were a direct result of the toxic behaviour I was subjected to. Reactive abuse occurs when a person is provoked to the point of losing control and reacting in a way that is out of character for them and I was being severely provoked. It is a coping mechanism that can manifest in various forms, including anger, manipulation, and even aggression. I had all of that in spades!

For me, reactive abuse was a defence mechanism against the relentless bullying and harassment I faced in my job. It was my way of trying to regain some sense of power and control in a situation where I felt completely powerless. While I don’t condone my actions or behaviour during that time, I now understand that they were a response to the trauma I was experiencing. What I did, wasn’t all that bad, I just created a website in their names, where I too placed blame on the individual, not on the behaviour. I wasn’t cruel like they were in my comments though! I tried as much as possible to stay on topics I could prove were lies.

Coming to terms with being labelled a narcissist was a difficult process. It forced me to confront my own behaviour and the impact it had on others. While I may have exhibited traits of narcissism in moments of reactive abuse, I am not defined by those actions. I am committed to growth and self-reflection, and I acknowledge the need for accountability and change in my behaviour. That makes a huge difference, as self-reflection is not something a narcissist can do!

As I look back on that challenging period in my life, I see it as a learning experience. It taught me the importance of self-awareness and emotional regulation, as well as the power of empathy and understanding in difficult situations. I have worked hard to address the underlying issues that contributed to my reactive abuse and have sought professional help to better understand and manage my emotions. It helps a great deal!

Reactive abuse is a complex and often misunderstood concept. It is important to recognize that it is not an excuse for harmful behaviour, but rather a recognition of the underlying causes and triggers that can lead to such reactions. By acknowledging and addressing these factors, we can work towards healing and growth, both for ourselves and for those we may have harmed. I worked hard to repair relationships lost along the way…

I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect on my experiences and to share my journey toward understanding and overcoming reactive abuse. It has been a challenging and sometimes painful process, but it has also been a source of growth and self-discovery. I am committed to continuing my personal development and cultivating healthy and positive relationships with others.

In conclusion, I have come to accept that reactive abuse was a part of my past, but it does not define who I am today. I am dedicated to learning from my mistakes and moving forward with a renewed sense of empathy and compassion.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others who may be struggling with similar experiences and encourage them to seek help and support. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you!

Live in the moments of your life, they are gone before you know it!

2 thoughts on “Reactive Abuse: Losing Control After Abuse

  1. How awful that you were subjected to such cruel abuse! I’m just sitting here aghast at the very thought. Stay strong! Lessons like this are tough ones, but you’ve come through it. 🙂

    1. Thank you for your comment, Judith, much appreciated.🌞 I found a strength I never knew I had while in this mess and for that I am grateful. It has led me to believe that we all have more strength then we think we do!
      I hope you have a wonderful day! 🌸

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