Quora Digest: Funny Response for Narcissist Smear Campaign

Self-Love Will Heal You

I kept this post as it was the first one I found that talked about how smear campaigns backfire on the narcissistic bully. I had hope, always, that in time the truth would be exposed and these Adult Tenant Bullies would be ignored and passed over for their never-ending gossip.

I accept my part in all this mess, I reacted rather than responded, too often, to their gaslighting. Upon reflection, the process of HRTO, having to read every document they submitted for their application, well for what I thought was their applications, made it worse for me. The almost daily missives filled with so many new allegations all the time, overwhelmed me. I became really depressed and scared for my life.

When I got the documents from the Request for Info I did with HRTO a few months ago, most of the terrible gaslighting and manipulations they tried to add later by email, was not even added!

Human Rights Process, Interim Decision, Case Assessment Direction Released Against Kory Read & Allison Read 2019

Form 10 Issued by Kory Read & Allison Read to HRTO On October 5,2019

I knew the time would come when they would be seen as the “boy who cried wolf” once too often and be avoided for their constant hatred they show towards me and their never-ending lies about someone it’s obvious they don’t know. People now see what they do with these domains. Geez, they were online for years, and they got no support, from anyone. This tells me that what is written about in the below, that they do backfire on the instigator, does come true.

So, 4 years after I found this post, I have been shown the validity of the contents and I can now truly believe that I can walk away from it and finally ignore their antics online. I can now finally feel safe, even with their words still online. I am convinced no one cares about it anymore. I know I don’t. Yes, I had the niggling in the back of my mind, it is the purpose of it after all, but it all gone now. I can move on with my recovery and rebuilding my life here in NL without any fear of these domains affecting my present and future. They are no longer relevant and are being ignored.

I am completely safe, physically and mentally, finally, from being smeared online by nasty Adult Tenant Bullies. I can ignore what they do in my name. I have protections in place that monitor for my name, and these sites, and I will address anything I feel I may need to do, if it comes. I now know nothing will ever come out of their smear campaign within stellareddy.com and the other sites. All the thoughts I had, came from my own imagination and anxieties they played on with their antics.

You never really know how heavy something was, till you let it go. The past couple of days, and the epiphanies I have had, has helped release so much weight off my mind and body. I have gained confidence in myself and who I am, am regaining self-esteem and beliefs in myself. It has been building within me the past few months, since I started focusing on myself and my own recovery.

Once I switched my thinking from why are they doing this to why am I reacting this way, my world has opened and I feel better. So many articles and posts I have read, now make more sense to me, as I finally get it. I feel so much relief!

I went out in the backyard yesterday, it was such a beautiful day. All the snow is gone, and the sun was shining. I stood there, on the crutches, smelling the air and taking in the greenery. I stood there, feeling so grateful to be here, in this place, at this moment. The peace and calmness that came over me in that, has stayed with me. I have some pictures that I took up on Facebook… It was a beautiful moment for me.

I have way more of those beautiful moments now than I ever did. I had one the other day when the doctor told me my ankle was healed and I could start weight bearing, as tolerated. I came home and had another when I ditched the crutches and put weight on my foot, and it didn’t hurt! I had another when I got my appt for the Ortho Consult next month. I had one when I was speaking to my Mom on messenger. Another when I spoke to my sister, also on messenger. Every day, I have a moment that I focus on, just take it in, what I see and how I feel by what I see, and I get a peace over me.

Getting older, does calm you quite a it. I’ll be 56 soon, only another 4 years and I get full CPP Pension, no more disability, and I will have it for life. I live in our own house, fully detached, we own it outright, no mortgage anymore. We have rental income too from the basement apt we rent! We are financially secure, our bills are paid in full every month, and I don’t need to work. Our future is secure, we are secure. I have a very wonderful and stable marriage with my hubby of almost 26 yrs. I walked away from the life we built in Ontario, it was only temporary anyway till we could retire back here. That was always our plan, move back home to NL, and we spent our careers preparing for that in our future. I am a great planner and managed to get everything in place years ago for that! I was taught to plan for my retirement and I did, thank goodness. it was really good timing and everything is working out better than I thought!

My health will get worse, but I will do what I have to do to maintain it and keep my independence as long as I can. In between medical treatments, I have the time and funds to do things, like going camping and the road trip we have planned for July. As for the Mainland? I have seen all I want too, there. I have been all over Canada. Even took a road trip a few years ago from Sask. to Vancouver Island, which was fun. My Google shows all the places we have been and it has been a lot! I am content and don’t need to do anymore of that. Time to stay closer to home and travel our beautiful province I now live in! Time to revisit places of my childhood and visit family I haven’t seen in many years that I have all over!

Knowing I have no one else left to impress with my skills, knowledge or achievements, is freeing! I have the freedom to say that if anyone does want to believe the lies online about me, especially when they too don’t know me, than they are welcome to it. It won’t do anything to me or my life, not anymore. Even my mind is free!

Answered Aug 7, 2018
When will a narcissist’s smear campaign end, and will I have to take legal action?

Dear Julie,

Ah yes, the smear campaign. That glorious time in your life where you get to hear from others about the events of your life that are not only news to you…but you must have done/been/engaged in said negatives while comatose as you have zero recollection of any of them at all.

And seemingly worse yet, people who do not even know you, have never spoken to you, and couldn’t even pick you out of a crowd of 100 people not only believe this rubbish…here they go helping out by talking even more shit and spreading it far and wide. They just love fertilizing their entire environment with verbal bullshit.

Oh. Well, let’s see now….first I was a whore. Not sure how ol Narcy considers that insulting as he really does love those kinds of women since they comprised 100% of his extramarital affairs. Then I was “unfaithful” which would imply somebody at home wasn’t getting the job done and was slightly less of a man than he claims. Then it’s “she’s a failure and both of her ex husbands think so”. Ok I’ve been divorced twice…your current gf has double that. Then it’s “I make more money than her…she’s such a loser”…nice try he doesn’t make more but I don’t spend mine just to go into debt like a dumbass and that nasty thing he’s sleeping with has never even had a job in her whole life. Then it’s “she’s a lesbian”. Hmmm, well if anyone should find my lesbian lover please tell her to get her ass home, wash those dishes and make me a damn sammich. She hasn’t paid any damn bills this month and no one rides for free around here. Then it’s “she’s bitter”. No I’m just fed up with ol Narcy and his crap and not afraid to say so nor mince words about it.

And there’s a point to this. You see, ol Narcy has been talking shit about me for over 15 years. That smear campaign begins long before any hint of devaluation ever starts. That’s right..to your face, you are the love of his life and the best thing that ever happened to him….right up until the moment your back is turned. Then it’s something differently entirely. This discovery hurts. Why? Because you’re human dear. You also know he talks shit about everyone! So it’s not “just you”.

The smear campaign you’re dealing with is far from being a new occurrence. It’s only new to your own knowledge.

But here is where smear campaigns backfire both on ol Narcy as well as the new supply that will also be engaging in them. You see, you need to look at the reality…and the reality is “no one wants to hear it. Nobody cares.”

You can only talk so much shit about 1 person before no one is even listening to it anymore and what they do is patronize you. (They act like they are listening and haven’t heard a word you’ve said. Their mind wandered off elsewhere as soon as they heard that person’s name). Think about it. If you call someone and bitch about ol Narcy constantly all the time…what happens? People will start avoiding you.

Smear campaigns take a lot of time and energy. How is ol Narcy devoted to his new supply when he is constantly obsessing over you? All the new supply hears about is YOU. And thats kind of funny. But stop and think back to the beginning of your relationship with ol Narcy. I’m betting that ex before you took quite a bit, a ton of blame for everything under the sun, and was a constant presence in your life even though she was nowhere around physically. She wasn’t living there. And you’ve learned through experience that most of her “bitterness” was simply her responding to ol Narcy’s never ending bullshit.

Oh I’m terrible because I had 2 failed marriages? New supply may want to buck up and pay attention. I heard that shit with his ex wife…and here’s the new supply with not 1 or 2 or 3 failed marriages under her belt, but 4. Imagine the cannon fodder that’s going to be. New supply lies out her butt. More cannon fodder as he will expose them all in his own due time, which is when he deems fit to do so. She has no education, no job, no money, no prospects. I’m a loser huh? Imagine that impending smear. The smear campaign of you, is very telling of the smear coming in the future of the new supply. Ol Narcy doesn’t just follow the same routine in the relationship, the smear campaign follows the same path. And he will try to make every single ex “guilty” of the exact same things. And yes, he will make it ALL up if he has to.

Do I have a couple of ex’s in my life who don’t like me? Sure. I have ex’s that I get along with and ones I wouldn’t miss if they fell off a globe. What do they have in common…I don’t have anything to do with them nor do I have anything to do with their lives. I’m “absent”.

Smear campaigns mean ol Narcy is not absent. He’s still creeping around your hedges. Send him a trench coat and a funny looking hat. This way he’s at least appropriately dressed for his activities. Warn your friends on social media to ignore all public posts …and then have some fun. Give that douche something to chew on and it’s guaranteed he will. He will swallow every juicy line of your tinder whoring adventures like a ravenous wolf. Lol. It’s social media…don’t take it so seriously.

So how do you make it stop? Well you really can’t. It’s been going on for a very, very long time. Outside of specific legal parameters there’s nothing a court can do. It’s great supporting evidence if you need a domestic violence restraining order…but not much can be done about ol Narcy’s god given right to free speech, which includes lying out of his ass. That’s handled more privately by people who just get sick and tired of hearing his bullshit and just finally tune in to a different channel.

Oh better yet, someone finally gets sick to death of it and says “where’s your proof?”

YOU see, you can only go so far in talking smack about your ex before people start to associate all these terrible qualities equally to both people. Oh she’s all that huh? Well, what does that say about you and the 15 years you stayed? Oh so you’re a cheating asshat that stayed with your wife who was all of these things rather than have manned it up and just done the morally correct thing? Ah yes, we see perfectly. You’re a douchebag and want to blame it all on her.

Smear campaigns backfire…every time, in time.

Even in discussing all that I learned from my entanglement with ol Narcy, I get a lot of very pointed questions of this manner. And rightfully so. Ol Narcy is what he is, but I also have to take equal fault and equal blame for the co-dependency issues I had that kept me there day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.

So, in that spirit, someone please go find my lesbian girlfriend and tell her to get her slacking ass home! I want a sammich!

Mock it. Make fun of the absurdity that it is. Try it on for size…you’ll find its almost fun. No one can be as ridiculous as ol Narcy’s accusations of them. You can’t really stop it but…you can turn it all into a great stand up comedy act and make some cash off of it.

3 thoughts on “Quora Digest: Funny Response for Narcissist Smear Campaign

  1. Its interesting how bullying means we absorb so much pain we end up getting injured.. I really admire you Stella you are coming through, once you can face the absurdity of the nastiness and see its all about them really and their erroneous judgements you can finally break free. I am so glad you are getting there. Hugs and love.

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