I regularly share articles from Psychology Today on my Facebook page as well as here. While not every article directly applies to me, I find value in each one. I’m am open to trying different techniques that can help me move forward and reduce my tendency to react with anger to situations that occur. I want to be at peace.
I am determined to reach a point where no one’s actions affect me in any way. I firmly believe that I will get there with time and effort. Of course, there will be mistakes along the way, but I view them as learning opportunities to continue progressing.
Over the past year, I’ve already made significant strides. My negative emotions no longer linger, and I’ve gained better control over my negative thoughts. Writing about it here is immensely helpful, and I feel comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities these days.
Fortunately, I’ve released much of the anger I had with my education I have gained on human nature. In the beginning, I wanted the world to witness the psychological abuse within those writings. I wanted them to see the speculative nature of the anonymous administrator’s claims, without any substantial evidence to support them. All the characteristics of gaslighting, triangulation, invalidation, and manipulation are being utilized against me and it needed to be acknowledged for me to move on.
This morning, I contemplated the comments I saw in the recently taken-down stellareddy.com, where Adult Tenant Bullies accused me of seeking attention and they stated they were going to give it to me. In some ways, they were right, but not in terms of personal attention. I seek attention for the behaviours I highlight on my site. I aim to showcase the toxic traits and their detrimental impact on a person, namely me. The personal attacks, initiated by an anonymous individual who overtly tries to manipulate my life, exemplify bullying from adults and the destructive nature of a selfish mindset.
It is scary to me to think that someone else is out there right now feeling the way I used to, all because of toxic behaviour.
Regardless of the circumstances, it is unacceptable to publicly ridicule others and encourage others to do the same as they have done. Anyone can have an opinion, just stop trying to force yours on others. Bullying has severe consequences for people’s mental health. Through my research, I strive to understand and identify warning signs to protect myself and share all I have learned hoping it will help someone else. As they say, it is a significant red flag once you feel the need to start researching someone’s behaviour towards you.
Before the pandemic forced me to shift to online therapy, I took advantage of available resources such as support groups and even found a psychiatrist. I’ve established a friendly rapport with some individuals at the Mental Health Helpline in Canada, often reaching out for a quick chat when needed. Since moving home, I found therapy too and even Webinars.
Thankfully, there are now more mental health resources available than ever before, and I’m extremely grateful for that. I’ve even found helpful worksheets that aid me in navigating through all of this. I dedicate myself to personal growth and self-improvement every single day because it’s a necessary aspect of my healing journey.
I acknowledge that I still harbour anger, and I understand why. The symptoms of PTSD don’t help either… The invalidation I experienced made me feel invisible. My rights were disregarded, and others pressured me to withhold my words to prevent them from being twisted, as they were previously. The recent posts on stellareddy.com have only reinforced this pattern. My needs were dismissed and ignored, but now I am reclaiming them all.
I also neglected to address my pain; I buried it deep within myself to endure the lengthy processes of HRTO and Divisional Court, which overlapped. Almost 2 years of legal processes…If unexpressed, our pain can manifest as anger or even rage. If left suppressed, it can transform into depression or apathy.
I battled depression and it wasn’t my first time. I don’t recall much from those two years, only fleeting memories. I missed out on many experiences as I hid, both physically and mentally. Some of the medications I was on during that time didn’t help either. As a result, my pain evolved into anger, that needed to come out.
It was time to release it all, expose their actions and the misrepresentation they’ve engaged in under my name online, and ultimately let it become a part of history.
That’s the plan, and I can’t determine exactly how long it will take, but I am committed to seeing it through until the end. If these bullies didn’t want me to address what they’ve done to me, they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. I keep coming back to this truth because it holds weight. If they were capable of creating a website filled with lies about me, then I could also create a website exposing their lies and documenting their behaviour using my name.
If they truly knew me as well as they claim, they would have anticipated that I wouldn’t remain downtrodden for long; eventually, I would fight back.
Below, you will find an article from Psychological Today on “Care for Your Psyche” I found March 1, 2022 that I have been following ever since. Maybe these questions can help you in your journey as well.
- Daily time to reflect on who you are, where you are, and what you value can help you identify and fulfill your needs.
- The brain’s default mode network is activated by disengaging from the outside world and attuning inward.
- Try incorporating journaling, free association, affirmation, meditation, or a daily question review to increase self-knowledge.
- Discover curiosity rather than self-judgement.
Questions like these can aid your self-knowledge:
- What are the most important aspects of life to me? Were those aspects apparent in my thoughts and decisions today?
- Did I care well for my whole being today? If not, what needs to shift for tomorrow?
- How did I envision my time being used today? What can I learn from the challenges?
- When did I have energy to give my ideas or actions? What depleted me?
- What emotional experiences were most present this day?
- What did connection with others look like today?
- What put a smile on my face today?
- Where did I give in a meaningful way today?