I share a lot of articles on my Facebook that I read from Psychology Today. Not everything I read is applicable to me, but I get something meaningful from each one. I am willing to try anything that will help me move forward and stop “reacting” with so much anger to their antics online.
I have since managed to release most of it, as I now see they are only pointing them to the Internet Archive, which in the end will help me. I want the world to see the psychological abuse within those texts written. I want the world to see the speculations within, written by this anonymous administrator of a total stranger. I want the world to see the gossip being spread, just with implications they give, not any actual proof showing their claims. All the traits of Gaslighting, Triangulation, Invalidation, and all the manipulation being done to Stella Reddy.
I want the world to see the Narcissistic Smear Campaign in action, all out of revenge for me doing my job. Even though parked domains don’t get much traffic and don’t show on searches, the traffic they do get will help make this situation just a little more public.
I was thinking earlier this morning about the comments I saw in the new stellareddy.com that was taken down, about how Kory Read claiming I am looking for attention. In some ways, he is correct, but not attention for me personally.
I am looking to get attention on their actions that I highlight on this site. I show the various traits they do that is toxic and what they can do to a person. I want the world to see the personal attacks on me being done by an anonymous person, trying to influence my life so blatantly. It is Bullying being done by Adults and a perfect example of what a Narcissist will do if they are mad at you.
I don’t care if I stood in the middle of the Lobby of this building and shouted out in front of others all kinds of names towards them, they still had no right to do what they did. No one has the right to do that, no matter what they think someone else has done.
You do not ridicule others in public to get others to ridicule them too! It is Bullying and terrible on people’s mental health.
I research all these actions and what it all means. I want to learn why a total stranger feels comfortable doing these things to me, so I can recognize the signs and protect myself. As they say, once you have to start goggling someone behavior towards you, it is a serious red flag. I started Googling, found a Psychiatrist, was in various support groups, till the virus shut me down in Ontario, then I moved to online therapy. I am on a first name basis with some people at the Mental Health Helpline here in Canada, I call them so much! I still do at times when I need a quick chat. I lucked into therapy once again here a few months ago.
There are way more Mental Health resources out there now than there was. I am grateful for that. I even found some worksheets I use to help me work thru all this. I work on myself and my thinking every day. I have too.
I accept I am still angry, and I know why. I was invalidated and as a result, I felt invisible. My rights were ignored, my voice taken away by pressure from others to not give them more words to take and twist, as they did. The last few posts on stellareddy.com proved that trait very clearly. My needs were passed off and ignored and now I am taking them all back!
My pain was ignored and avoided, not just by others by also by me. I had to try and bury it all so I could make it thru the 19 months of HRTO and 18 months of Divisional Court, some which overlapped. Our pain, if not let out appropriately, can appear as anger or even rage. If held in, it can transform into depression or apathy.
I was depressed, for a long time. I don’t remember a lot of those 2 years, just flashes. I missed out on a lot as well, as I was hiding, not just in body but also in mind. Some of the meds I was on didn’t help either! During that time, my pain became anger and now it is all being expressed, within this site. Time to get it all out, expose the actions in my name online for what they are, and learn to let it go to history, where it belongs.
That is my plan and I have no idea how long it will take, but It takes as long as it takes.
If these Bullies didn’t want me talking about what they have done to me, they shouldn’t have done it. I keep coming back to that, as it is so true. They should have known that if they could do a website about me filled with lies, that I could also do a website about them showing their lies and what they did to me.
IF they knew me as well as they claim, they would have known I would not be beaten down for long, that I would eventually start fighting back. Now that I have started fighting back, they act shocked that I am still writing on my own site.
They shouldn’t be shocked, as they didn’t delete the sites, just lost the hosting. They were still registered and could return to the internet, just like they have. That is not taking them down now, is it?
- Daily time to reflect on who you are, where you are, and what you value can help you identify and fulfill your needs.
- The brain’s default mode network is activated by disengaging from the outside world and attuning inward.
- Try incorporating journaling, free association, affirmation, meditation, or a daily question review to increase self-knowledge.
- Discover curiosity rather than self-judgement.
- Research suggests narcissism consists of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism; or, alternatively, of antagonism, extraversion, and neuroticism.
- Some narcissists (i.e. grandiose narcissists) are more likely to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same as self-esteem.
- Narcissists show keen attention to cues related to status and position, constantly seeking situations that could afford them a higher status.
- Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation, that the circumstance goes away, or that we feel better about it.
- Radical acceptance is letting go of the need to control, judge, and wish things were different than they are.
- Fighting against negative emotions leads to our suffering.
- People tend to associate mindfulness with meditation, but mindfulness is a stand-alone practice.
- The benefits of mindfulness outside of meditation include turning mundane tasks into interesting ones.
- Paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment offers relief from stressful and habitual thought patterns.
- Our society, mainly schools, fails to educate us on emotions.
- Core emotions need to be experienced and released. Inhibitory emotions serve to obscure our core emotions.
- Habitual use of protective defenses prevents us from feeling vital and authentic.
According to National Institute of Mental Health research, people who repress their feelings fall into many uncomfortable situations from illness to envy. The thing we must remember is that feelings occur for a reason and, just as the body needs to breathe to stay alive, you also need to express your emotions to stay healthy.
Our pain, if not let out appropriately, can appear as anger or even rage. If held in, it can transform into depression or apathy. In theory, expressing your emotions is as simple as saying “ouch” when your toe gets stepped on. If you are dealing with an emotionally painful issue, just state what it is you are feeling. Holding emotions in isn’t a sign of strength; it really says that you’re afraid someone might see how vulnerable you are.