I never thought I would find myself in a position where I would be humiliated by strangers in a domain they created by stealing my personal name, stellareddy.com. It was a painful experience that left me feeling vulnerable and shattered. However, I refused to let it define me. Not my fault they acted in a toxic manner, spreading lies and malicious gossip about me in person at the property and on domains they made just for that purpose. Their actions are all on them, isn’t it?
I chose to rise above the humiliation and reclaim my sense of self. In this post, I want to share my personal journey of recovery, the lessons I learned, and the steps I took to heal and regain my confidence.
The Wounds: When I first encountered humiliation by toxic tenants from my last place of work in December 2017 due to 859kennedyroad.com, it felt like a sudden blow to my self-esteem. I was caught off guard, and the impact was immense. The negative comments, judgmental stares, and mocking gestures seemed to echo in my mind long after the incidents occurred. I felt exposed like all my vulnerabilities had been laid bare for the world to see but I guess that was the point of it.
Acknowledging the Pain: The first step towards recovery was acknowledging the pain. I allowed myself to feel the emotions that came with the humiliation. I cried, vented, and sought solace in the support of my loved ones and therapy sessions. It was crucial to permit myself to experience these emotions without judgment. By doing so, I began to accept that it was okay to feel hurt, but it was equally important to take control of my healing process.
Shifting Perspective: Humiliation has a way of distorting our perception of ourselves. It can make us believe that we are unworthy, flawed, or deserving of mistreatment. To break free from this mindset, I made a conscious effort to shift my perspective. I started by reminding myself that the opinions of strangers do not define me. Their words and actions were a reflection of their own limitations and insecurities, not a reflection of my worth. How could strangers define my worth when they didn’t know who I was? They were angry they got evicted and as they refused to accept their actions caused it, they had to put the blame somewhere!
Practicing Self-Compassion: Recovering from humiliation required me to cultivate self-compassion. I realized that I needed to be kind to myself, just as I would be to a close friend in a similar situation. You wouldn’t blame your friend for finding herself in this position, so why blame yourself? I practiced self-care, engaged in activities that brought me joy and surrounded myself with positive influences. By treating myself with love and understanding, I slowly started to rebuild my self-esteem.
Seeking Support: During difficult times, seeking support is crucial. I reached out to professional counsellors who could offer guidance and a listening ear. Opening up about my experiences allowed me to gain different perspectives and receive validation for my feelings. The support I received reminded me that I was not alone, and it strengthened my resolve to overcome the humiliation.
Embracing Vulnerability: Humiliation often leaves us feeling exposed and vulnerable. However, I realized that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. I chose to embrace my vulnerability and share my story with others. By doing so, I not only found a sense of empowerment but also created connections with people who had similar experiences. Our shared stories became a source of inspiration and solidarity for me.
Focusing on Personal Growth: Recovering from humiliation also involved focusing on personal growth. I engaged in activities that allowed me to explore my passions and expand my horizons. I sought out opportunities for learning and self-improvement. I have attended Webinars, and group therapy, and continue to read various self-help books. By investing in myself, I gradually regained confidence and a sense of purpose. I realized that my value was not determined by the opinions of strangers but by my own growth and self-belief. I define who I am, not toxic customers from my last workplace.
Forgiveness and Letting Go: One of the most challenging aspects of recovery was learning to forgive and let go. Holding onto resentment and anger towards those who humiliated me only prolonged my healing process. I recognized that forgiveness was not about condoning the actions of others but freeing myself from the burden of negativity. By forgiving, not only them but myself for the mistakes I made, I released the power that humiliation held over me and allowed space for healing and growth. No more toxic shame!
Redefining Identity: Humiliation can shake our sense of identity, making us question who we are and what we stand for. To overcome this, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. I reflected on my values, passions, and aspirations, and I redefined my identity based on what truly mattered to me. I found myself again!
Thankfully, I kept journals and wrote in them every day so I was able to use the writings to reinforce my own reality of what occurred during this time. My journals were very helpful in determining what was gaslighting and what was reality for me. This process allowed me to reclaim my narrative and shift the focus from the humiliation to the person I wanted to become. All I knew then was that I didn’t want to be like them!
You see, over time, I found myself doing to the Bullies what they were doing to me, which was naming and shaming them in my content, but I wasn’t comfortable with that as it didn’t align with who I was inside. I didn’t want to be a toxic bully, out to cause harm to others. I had to find another way, to learn to accept it, make peace with it, and find a way to move forward.
Conclusion: Recovering from humiliation by strangers was undoubtedly a challenging journey, but it was also life-changing. Through self-compassion, seeking support, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth, I was able to heal and regain my confidence. Don’t get me wrong, it was a long and hard road to get here but I am worth it.
The process taught me valuable lessons about resilience, self-love, and the power of perspective. Today, I stand stronger and more resilient than ever before, knowing that I can rise above any humiliation and define my own worth.