My Early Mindfulness

When I first started practicing mindfulness, it was hard to keep the recriminations out but over time, it became easier. Living in NL helped a great deal as no matter where I went outside my door, I found awesome sceneries to help me focus on.

Focusing on the beautiful scenery I am surrounded by outside, allowed me to release the renumerating and focus on the here and now. With views like this above, how can you not?

Over time, I came to accept that it was over. There were no more legal actions, no more gossip and rumours. They did all they could do and lost, so it was time for me to move on, not just physically but mentally.

As the poster says, there are billions of people in this world and there was no need to let the personal opinion of one family of 4 stop me, I am way better than that!!

Once I accepted that I was being bullied by these Tenants and understood that their Smear Campaign was about them getting out ahead of the narratives, I gained peace of mind. I came to see that these Toxic Tenants would have no reason to post domains about other people unless they were afraid their narratives wouldn’t be accepted.

As I mentioned before in earlier posts, when I first moved here, It took time to lift my head when I went out and I had to remind myself to look up all. It took about a year for me to feel comfortable with going outside on my own. That first year was about getting rid of my fear that people of NL were reading their sites and believing their contents, just as I felt in Ontario. My anxiety was terrible…

It took a while to get rid of that thinking and I did ask some total strangers I just met here to read their sites and give me their opinions about it all, as the insecurity was nerve-wracking for me. I needed to know.

I wanted an idea of what people would think about their allegations on their sites and the only way to know, was to ask. So I did ask the women of the walking group I joined in the early days to read those websites and let me know what they thought. Their reactions showed me I had nothing to worry about.

I no longer ask people I meet to read those websites as it no longer matters, as it is history and time to leave it there! I use their sites now as evidence of all the toxic traits I learned about!

Last summer I spent in exposure therapy, where I went and joined large crowds such as Markets, Concerts, and Community Events. We even went and saw the Stanley Cup with Alex Newhook when it was here on August 22, 2022!

The George Street Festival with Allan Doyle was awesome!! I sang and danced with everyone else and had a fantastic time!

I spoke to people around me, started conversations, and over time, my fears eased off. I started to relax and was smiling more and finding a lot of simple pleasures all around me. I walked a lot too last summer, soaking in all of Mother Nature that abounds here!

Even with the release of last July where they share my Facebook profile hoping to incite Newfies against me, my fear didn’t return. Funnily enough, by that time I had gained self-confidence and no longer cared about their opinions.

They filed various legal applications and lost them all so no I have no concerns about their lies online being believed anymore. Actually, their websites show they are sore losers not willing to accept the legal determinations they sought to get!

I share below the link to my Facebook where I share all the pictures I have taken of NL and all the shared ones I have that others have taken. I also share a lot of posters and various articles I have found that help my mental health.

There is a lot of beauty in Newfoundland and Labrador that so many people share with their pictures and videos online in Facebook groups and looking at them all does lift my moods!

At the top of my profile, I have a pinned link to my oldest son’s website for his business, Full Picture Management, as I am very proud of him and all he has accomplished over the past few years. His business has expanded and he has travelled all across Canada!

TJ is getting married later this summer and I am so excited!! It will be a beautiful event to experience and I am so looking forward to it. Anticipation is not something I have felt much of these past few years, but I am glad the feeling is returning! My daughter-in-law is a beautiful soul and such a welcome member of our family!

Now, I go outside with no anxiety at all! I feel such anticipation of experiencing things once again! I am ecstatic the fear is gone once again!

I get to enjoy the results of all the work I have done over the past couple of years on my mental health!

I have a busy week coming… I am off this afternoon for a CT-Scan on my spine to determine the status of the Stenosis I have, as I have been experiencing some new symptoms that they think show it is spreading…I get to meet hubby when he gets off work and check out the waterfront again!

I have an eye exam later this week to check the status of my eyesight which is also getting worse. Might as well fit some fun things in there, so I am also going shopping for a new outfit to wear to a party I am going to this weekend! It is the beginning of many social events planned for this summer!

The pictures below show my favourite spots in this City where I can go and sit by the water as long as I want and take it all in, with each place on opposite ends of Water St. They are fantastic places to practice mindfulness!

I have sat on the benches at each place and took in all the sights, sounds, and smells and allowed my thoughts to flow…It didn’t matter the weather either!

I have trained my mind to accept that everything is temporary and that it will eventually pass and the most important thing is in that moment and to enjoy everything I can as it happens.

While life has good and bad events, it is all temporary and will end at some point. While some things last longer than others, eventually that too will pass. The only thing anyone can count on is the passing of time!!

Change is inevitable! Even as my physical health deteriorates, my mind expands and I am still able to find enjoyment in everything I do, no matter what. I am ready for the changes to come this year!

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