Mental Strength vs. Mental Health for Stella Reddy

Positive Mental Health

I learned many years ago, in therapy, that Mental Strength and Mental Health, was a bit different and this thinking has also helped me in my recovery from Narcissistic Adult Tenant Bullies and their nasty actions. I am very grateful I have had the many years of therapy I have had! 

I found this article recently and it is similar to the one I already read in the past, as it gives you valid things you can do, to help you gain mental strength. I do these things, every day, and I will continue to do them, every day, for the rest of my life, as it is important to me. I am worth it! I am worth taking the time to do what I need to help me heal my mental health. Everyone is!

Three Parts to Mental Strength

Mental strength has three parts:

  1. Thinking: It involves the ability to think realistically. That means knowing how to recognize irrational thoughts and replace them with a more realistic inner dialogue. It’s also about speaking to yourself with kindness. So when you’re tempted to be overly critical of yourself, mental strength allows you to respond with self-compassion.

Being real with yourself is very important for recovery, not just mentally but also physically. Recognizing irrational thoughts, and learning how to replace them with more realistic ones, is the first and most important step. I have gained most of my Mental Strength over my lifetime, from my physical health issues, as I have had so many that could just drive some people to insanity. I learned I had no control over any of it, so getting mad at myself was a waste of time.

Imagine being told at 23 years old, while 7 months pregnant with your second child, that you have Cervical Cancer and require a hysterectomy.  Imagine, living with this thought throughout the rest of your pregnancy, that cancer is there, growing inside your body, but you have to wait to get it out, and it will take over a year. This thought drove me a little insane to be honest with you. My doctor sent me into counselling within a couple of months, as I really needed it. It was there that I learned the difference in mental strength, and mental health.

Having so many medical health issues, have helped me gain Mental Strength, as I had to learn how to deal with the emotions from getting these diagnoses, as well as the physical pain from surgeries and recoveries. Getting any medical diagnosis, can also affect you mentally! This is where I gained most of my mental strength, getting through these diagnoses and its associated symptoms, not just physically but also mentally. Some of these physical ailments, also contributed to my mental ailments, especially with anxiety.  My last bad one, in 2015 with the Cervical Spinal Stenosis, was the hardest to manage, still is some days. It isn’t easy living with this one, the numbness and tingling down my left side, gets on my nerves!! lol I know one day, I will lose the use of my left hand and arm! Good thing I am right handed! 

The skills I learned all those years ago, have helped me with being Bullied by Tenants, Kory & Allison Read. It helped me to remember that these were just tenants, not some magical beings who could read minds, but callous people being deliberately mean and cruel with their many rumours and lies they tell about me. It helps me remember that Kory Read don’t know me, to be able to insinuate what he does on my personal life. The tricks I learned then, helped me combat their gaslighting!

  1. Feeling: Mental strength doesn’t involve suppressing your emotions or denying your pain. Instead, it’s about acknowledging how you feel. Sometimes, that means accepting an uncomfortable emotion or even calming yourself down before having a tough conversation.

Accepting how you feel over a situation, whether it be physical or mental, is also an important step. I tried, after my partner and father of my children, died in a car crash in June 1989, just 4 weeks after I had the hysterectomy, to ignore my emotions about all of that. I blocked out everything, even my own life. I don’t remember anything of that year after he died, it is a complete blank. My next clear memory, I found myself in Toronto Ontario, with 2 young kids, and it was May 1990. I don’t even remember going to Toronto, not even when! I was in Toronto then till January 1991. It was just after I came back, in March 1991, that I had the house fire.  Yes, those few years, 1988-1991, I had a lot happen, one after the other. I had no choice, than learn how to be mentally strong!

I accept I was very angry to see that 7 pages letter in August 2016 from those tenants, Kory & Allison Read. I was also very angry the owners wouldn’t deal with it, nor would they let me. I even had a letter already done up, but I was told to ignore them, no matter how I felt over it, and I had no trouble expressing my feelings over it either, back then. It took months for me to relax after that, but I never did relax completely, I knew from experience of dealing with Bullying Tenants, that it wasn’t over.

I accept that when August 24, 2017 came, and the tenants still denied entry and was so callous over it, I went home and didn’t tell anyone I filed with HRTO for myself, as I knew what the response would be, and I didn’t want to hear it. I was determined to speak up for my own rights, even with no support. I was being Bullied and I wanted to take care of it, the right way, by going to Human Rights. My applications were denied as at the time, as I didn’t have Kory Read’s name. I didn’t learn that till the hearing in Sept 2017. Allison Read, when she moved in to the building, wasn’t with her husband then and I have no idea when he followed her there. As far as I knew, the male name was Darwin Charles, as that was the other adult name on the application and there was nothing in the file, saying differently. It was only years later, I found out that name was her brothers!

These tenants  were requesting the work, yet even after 48 hours notice, they wouldn’t allow entry? They had complained that they didn’t get enough proper notice the year before, it is all over their paperwork too, so I made sure to give them over what was required, yet they still denied entry! This time it was because I didn’t have the contractor with me to do the work, and I also made him wait around till after 3 pm, as he felt I should have been there at 9 am. Even when I said I was elsewhere, he said I should have went there at 8 am then, before I left. I accepted that even if I did as they asked, like give more than enough notice for entry, they would only come up with more excuses to say “no”. This action that day, after giving them 2 days notice, not just one, told me they were intent on being unreasonable and nothing I could ever do, would ever be enough for them. 

It was the pressure from so many, over that first year in 2017 till I quit in July 2018, that wore me down and took away my voice. This constant pressure, to be quiet, caused me to suppress my emotions, and I learned to bury them, as I felt hopeless, as no one seemed to care. I ended up feeling, why bother expressing myself, when it does nothing? My depression kicked in, with the extreme fear of being attacked, from reading and seeing the news of racial attacks going on all around the world. Racial tensions were high everywhere in 2019-2020 in Toronto, and it played on my fears of being attacked, all because of his many accusations of racism and discrimination against me that he had online.

I experienced a lot of very strong feelings over being bullied by tenants. After living in fear for so long, I had to re-learn how to express some of them, especially my pain. I will never bury my emotions anymore, it isn’t worth it. I don’t like feeling emotionally dead, it is very uncomfortable for me.

  1. Doing: Mental strength is about taking productive action. Whether that means working out even when you’re tired or it means allowing yourself to engage in self-care, it involves ensuring that your behaviors are good for you.

Doing things for myself, like making and posting my own domain where I write about the extensive Bullying being done to me and my name, by Adult Tenant Bullies, Kory & Allison Read, is taking back my power over where my name shows up.

Seeking therapy, is also being proactive and productive for myself.

Moving from Ontario in 2020, was being productive for myself. I will always put myself, and my emotional needs, first now before any other. I will always continue to do, for ME, as I am the only one who knows what I need and I am the only one who can ensure I get it.

As I have said many times, it is my life to live!

The way you think affects how you feel and how you feel affects how you behave. Your behavior, in turn, affects how you think. There is a mind-body connection that links our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors

Try the exercises below, they will help you find focus. I do them all, every single day, and will continue to do so, as it helps me.

When dealing with fear and anxiety, the behavioural exercises will help you get through it, like it has for me. I have done many social experiments to help me deal with my fear of attacks, either verbal or physical, and it greatly helped me challenge my thoughts from their gaslighting. I have shown myself I need have no fear.

The words of a anonymous administrator on a domain in my personal name, are just that these days, words. Gossip does tend to go that way! Their sites have become irrelevant, just like these Tenant Bullies, Kory & Allison Read. Old news and no longer important.

They tried so hard to have such negative affects on my personal life, for almost 6 years, and spread their gossip far and wide, but in the end, they were shown as the liars they are! Lies do tend to come to light, especially when they have nothing to back them up.

 


https://www.verywellmind.com/the-difference-between-mental-strength-and-mental-health-5078284

Mental Strength vs. Mental Health

The difference between mental strength and mental health becomes easier to understand when you compare it to the difference between physical health and physical strength. Building bigger muscles can improve your physical health. However, big muscles don’t guarantee you won’t ever deal with a physical health problem, like high cholesterol.

And while a health issue might make it a little more difficult to go to the gym and workout, you can still make choices that help you grow physically stronger even when you have a physical health problem.

The exercises that build mental strength will also improve your mental health. And better mental health makes it easier to grow mentally strong.

Mental Strength

  • The ability to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.
  • Understanding your emotions.
  • Knowing when to engage with your emotions and when to take a step back.

Mental Health

  • The presence or absence of a mental health issue.
  • The overall state of your mental wellness.

Three Parts to Mental Strength

Mental strength has three parts:1

  1. Thinking: It involves the ability to think realistically. That means knowing how to recognize irrational thoughts and replace them with a more realistic inner dialogue. It’s also about speaking to yourself with kindness. So when you’re tempted to be overly critical of yourself, mental strength allows you to respond with self-compassion.
  2. Feeling: Mental strength doesn’t involve suppressing your emotions or denying your pain. Instead, it’s about acknowledging how you feel. Sometimes, that means accepting an uncomfortable emotion or even calming yourself down before having a tough conversation.
  3. Doing: Mental strength is about taking productive action. Whether that means working out even when you’re tired or it means allowing yourself to engage in self-care, it involves ensuring that your behaviors are good for you.

The way you think affects how you feel and how you feel affects how you behave. Your behavior, in turn, affects how you think. There is a mind-body connection that links our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), this is known as the “cognitive triad.”

How to Build Mental Strength

Fortunately, everyone has the ability to build mental strength. Developing bigger mental muscles takes exercise—just like developing bigger physical muscles. Building mental strength may, in turn, also improve your mental health.

While there are many exercises that can help you build mental strength, here are a few simple ones that can get you started.

Cognitive Exercises

Cognitive exercises are those strategies that help you think differently. This could include any exercise that helps you think more positively, reframe negative thoughts, or develop a more realistic mindset. Here are some examples of healthy cognitive exercises:

  • Write in a gratitude journal: Gratitude journals are an excellent way to activate and strengthen positive thoughts and feelings.
  • Talk to yourself like a trusted friend: People are often harder on themselves than they are on their friends. So, try to show yourself the same compassion you would extend to a loved one.
  • Argue the opposite: In the moments you’re convinced everything will go wrong, think of everything that could go right.

Emotional Exercises

Emotional exercises increase your self-awareness about your emotional state. They may help you recognize when your emotions are helpful or not helpful, they may assist you in identifying strategies that reduce the intensity of your feelings, or they may help you embrace uncomfortable feelings. Here are some examples of emotional exercises:

  • Label your feelings: Noticing your feelings as feelings can help you get some distance from them. This can help you think more logically and get a better perspective on the problems or emotions you’re dealing with.
  • Use healthy coping skills to deal with uncomfortable emotions: Instead of only focusing on negative emotions, you can take a walk, give yourself a pep talk, or read a book you enjoy. This isn’t an attempt to avoid or ignore your feelings, but it can help to alleviate some of your painful emotions.
  • Take deep breaths: Deep breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety and alleviate tension from your body and mind.

Behavioral Exercises

Behavioral exercises are about getting up and doing things that are good for you. These actions help you feel better and perform at your peak. Some examples of behavioral exercises include:

  • Perform behavioral experimentsBehavioral experiments help to challenge any thoughts that are unproductive and self-limiting.
  • Schedule positive activities: It always helps your mental well-being to make time for things that bring you joy. Schedule a warm bath before bed or carve out some time to cook a nice meal for yourself.
  • Engage in hobbies: Hobbies will engage your mind in something that you love to do. Whether it’s taking pictures or baking, hobbies can bring a sense of accomplishment that can help you feel good about yourself.

    A Word From Verywell

    A lot of people misunderstand mental strength. They think being strong is about not crying at sad movies or not acknowledging hurt feelings. But experiencing and expressing normal human emotions takes more strength than suppressing them. So, don’t believe that showing emotion means you’re weak.

    Similarly, don’t buy into the notion that mentally strong people don’t ask for help. It takes incredible mental strength to admit you don’t have all the answers or to recognize when you might need help.

    If you want to know how to build more mental strength, reach out for help. Talking to a mental health professional might help you develop the mental strength you need to think, feel, and do your best in life.

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