I have read a couple of Brene Brown books over the past year, her insights have been very helpful to me. The title Rising Strong, as noted in the poster, is where I learned how to be vulnerable to become stronger. Daring Greatly is also another great book! I also covered this topic through counselling!
It is through vulnerability that I learned how to acknowledge my strong emotions from being Bullied so badly by Toxic Adults I had as Tenants in my last place of employment. Facing my emotions, learning what they are and how they affect me, is how I managed to get control of them. Ignoring them was making me feel worse…
I learned to accept my strong emotions of deep pain, anger, frustration, resentment, and extreme fear and I came to understand it was okay for me to feel these things. There is nothing wrong with me for feeling all these things due to the actions of a Tenant making and posting websites filled with negative content about me. It was a traumatic experience and it caused extreme emotional pain for me. Smear Campaigns against you tend to do that!
I was told by many in the beginning that I shouldn’t let their antics get to me, and because of that I ended up thinking I wasn’t allowed to have my strong feelings and most definitely wasn’t allowed to express them to anyone! Just because everyone else deemed the situation not important and not deserving of a reaction, didn’t mean that I felt that way as well! I am a different person, therefore entitled to my own reactions and feelings over all this! I came to see that was okay too!
I came to see that even though my reactions at times were extreme, they were driven by these strong emotions I was having a hard time naming, let alone accepting, back then. Processing difficult emotions is hard! Once I started acknowledging and accepting the strong emotions that I was feeling, the better I started to feel! The stronger I became in my own personal autonomy, the more I was able to just be myself and do what I felt I needed to do.
Over the past few years, there have been many times I have had to open up and be vulnerable to others. Being honest with myself and others was the only way I got through this mess. Each and every time, I came out of it feeling stronger and more empowered.
Dr. Basatti in Ontario whom I aw 2 times a week for many months, helped me acknowledge and name the strong emotions I was feeling at the time and taught me how to express them. I did some of that in my responses to HRTO during that 19 months, as I shared on here.
I did express the strong emotions I was feeling over being Bullied, which you can see these Adult Bullies took and disparaged in posts on stellareddy.com and even to HRTO. They don’t want to be held responsible for anything they did so have to try and convince you that I wasn’t hurt by any of it. The reality is that I was, and they know it, as that was their whole intention with all these actions, was to hurt me.
It was during the process of HRTO, with the help of the Doctor I was seeing at the time, that I learned how to be vulnerable for the first time and be honest about my emotions and in expressing them. I then took all I learned and it helped me express myself to others. My husband heard me more often than anyone else and over time, he learned to just let me speak, so I could get it out. I broke down a lot in the beginning when the feelings were much stronger but even in my blubbering, I got my feelings out, and over time, it helped me acknowledge and release them…
KR & AR had sent 107 pages of their “statement of fact” with their applications and within these pages, they said a lot of very hurtful things about me as a person. Toxic Tenant Bullies Original “Statement of Facts” The many lies within also made me feel quite a few strong emotions!
I took these pages to my doctor, with the response I sent in August 2018 and he helped me learn how to express myself a little better later in the process. Human Rights: Stella Reddy’s Reply To HRTO August 2018. I share in this response the strong emotional pain I was feeling over their antics in person and online at the time. Every document I sent contained their websites that they totally ignored responding to!
As the article says below, By acknowledging your emotions and thought patterns, you begin to recognize your defense mechanisms and emotional blind spots. I came to know myself better through this experience and why I reacted the way I did at times. The knowledge I gained from this situation has been very helpful to me and has made me a more open person. I no longer hide my feelings, they are acknowledged and voiced by me, all the time now! I learned that by being open, I am accepted more for what I have to say!
This website, stellareddy.xyz, is also me showing my vulnerability to the World! Within this site, you will find numerous posts where I express myself in many ways, some good, some not so much. But, as with everything, over time you can see the changes within me as I became more aware, not only of myself but also of the Adult Bullies.
Over time, with education and learning new ways of being, I have changed. I have grown as a person and will continue to grow! I use these strategies every day and in doing so, it has made me a more open person, and in turn, people are more responsive to what I have to say. I am always learning new ways to express myself better. Onwards and upwards, always!
In being vulnerable and opening myself up to others, has made me feel more confident in myself! Being met with empathy from so many people, has helped me release the toxic shame that they tried to place on me, making it all my fault, when it was not.
I know this was done to me by Toxic Tenants, I didn’t make them do anything, they are Adults responsible for their own choices. No one can “force” anyone else to make and post websites, as they claim they were!
When looking at the contents on all the websites I listed that they own, you see no vulnerability being expressed by them, all they do is attack the reputations and characters of the individuals they are writing about. When they do manage to speak about themselves, it is to boost their image as being innocent and doing no wrong.
The contents of all their websites are about placing blame on someone else for the situation they are in, and as a way to degrade each individual in personally titled domains. It is a way to shame, humiliate, and embarrass each person, the pure definition of a Smear Campaign.
It has been through others in the general public that I learned so much about Toxic people, Smear Campaigns, and Narcissism, so I know that society is starting to see these actions are very harmful. You do a search on any topic and you will get millions of results, as there are so many people out there who suffered because of the actions of another, like I endured.
I have found so many scientific articles, like this one below, and so many personal stories written by other Targets. They also have the courage to be vulnerable and share their personal stories so people like me, who come after, can learn from their experiences, and get better.
Time and space from these Bullies is what I needed to feel safe enough to recover from its effects on my mental health and I got that. I’ve been living in NL for the past 2 1/2 years now and I have taken that time to rebuild myself and my life into what I needed it to be. I am safe now, mind and body.
All I want now is justice for the psychological harm they do to so many people in the contents of their many domains online and I know one day, it will come.
3 Benefits of Vulnerability
Is vulnerability good? Here are some reasons why it is.
KEY POINTS
- Being vulnerable may seem difficult as it often involves acknowledging and validating sometimes painful emotions.
- Contrary to popular opinion, vulnerability actually tends to reduce anxiety.
- A willingness to be vulnerable can also lead to greater self-awareness and stronger relationships.
This post was co-written by Arasteh Gatchpazian and Tchiki Davis.
There are a lot of ways to define vulnerability. The term “vulnerable” means to be susceptible to harm. Another way to describe vulnerability could be “at-risk.” At the root of it, this harm comes from your emotional experiences. Being emotionally vulnerable involves the process of acknowledging your emotions, especially those that are uncomfortable or painful.
Acknowledging painful emotions can be difficult because it is human nature to avoid experiences that hurt us. Oftentimes, instead of fully experiencing and acknowledging an unpleasant emotional experience, we may do things that help distract us. For instance, when you feel sad, you may call a friend for emotional support and ask for advice. When you feel angry, you may blow off some steam through healthy (e.g., going for a run) or unhealthy (e.g., drinking) habits. When you feel anxious, you may prepare for worst-case scenarios.
Emotional vulnerability can be thought of as a two-step process.
The first is simply observing your emotion(s). For example, notice that you are feeling anger, sadness, or anxiety without thinking about it or acting on it.
The next step is validating your emotions. Validating your emotions would mean reminding yourself that it is OK to feel whatever emotions you’re going through. This means that there is no judgment or self-criticism.
Emotional acceptance and vulnerability
Emotional acceptance is an active process that involves turning towards one’s emotions and deeply engaging with those emotions. Importantly, emotional acceptance is not a passive resignation to one’s emotions or one’s situation. It’s just acknowledging the existence of something and trying not to mentally fight it.
Contrary to intuition, engaging with emotions via emotional acceptance does not exacerbate these emotions. In fact, emotional acceptance can meaningfully improve people’s emotional experiences over time (e.g., Ford et al., 2018). That’s because it is often better to acknowledge our painful emotions than try to avoid them. It’s important to note, however, that it is not realistic to always do this. You would be emotionally exhausted if you reflected and pondered upon every single emotion and mood during the day.
The Benefits of Vulnerability
1. It can ease your anxiety.
You may be thinking that encountering painful emotions is a recipe for increasing anxiety, but in fact, it can do the opposite. Many people who suffer from chronic anxiety believe that feeling bad is harmful and that negative emotions are to be feared. When you begin practicing vulnerability, you send a different message to your brain. When you begin acknowledging your emotions and allowing yourself to experience them, it’s a signal to yourself that negative emotions are not all that bad, which can reduce your overall anxiety.
2. It can strengthen relationships.
Vulnerability can strengthen relationships by building trust and intimacy. The first step is to be open and vulnerable to yourself by acknowledging your emotions, and then you can work your way up to being vulnerable with your loved ones, such as friends or a romantic partner.
3. It can help you become more self-aware.
By acknowledging your emotions and thought patterns, you begin to recognize your defense mechanisms and emotional blind spots. It is often the case that the more we try to push away painful emotions, the stronger they get, so becoming aware of emotions is often helpful.
How to Be More Vulnerable
1. Label your emotions.
Try to describe how you’re feeling in the simplest of terms. Instead of resorting to vague descriptions, such as “I’m feeling a bit stressed,” be concrete and say, “I’m feeling angry and hurt from the fight I had yesterday with my partner.” Imagine you are describing how you were feeling to a child.
2. Try journaling.
Journaling can be a powerful tool to help you become more vulnerable. Try using emotion-focused journaling to help you articulate how you are feeling and acknowledge those emotions. This will help you express your emotions to yourself, which can help you slowly build up to expressing them to other people.
3. Seek professional help.
Therapy or counseling is an amazing opportunity for you to practice expressing your emotions on a regular basis. Not only do you have to articulate how you feel, but your therapist may also help you acknowledge painful emotions you may have repressed in your past.
In Sum
Vulnerability can be a difficult thing to experience. But it’s important to do so as being vulnerable can help you grow and improve your relationships. Hopefully, this article offered some strategies that will help you manage the experience of being vulnerable with more ease.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202210/3-benefits-of-vulnerability
