Letting go of people who are not ready to love you, and let me tell you, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. But believe me when I say, it is also the most important thing. Society often tells us to fight for love, to never give up on people, and to always be there for them no matter what. But what they fail to mention is that this mentality often comes at a great cost to ourselves. I came to see it isn’t worth it and this is the year I let them go!
We find ourselves constantly having difficult conversations with people who are not interested in changing. We pour our energy and time into those who don’t value our presence. Why? Because our instinct is to gain the appreciation and acceptance of those around us. We believe that if we just try hard enough, they will eventually see how much we care and change accordingly. But the sad truth is that this impulse only steals away our precious time, energy, mental and physical health.
I have tried so many times this past year to reach out to others I lost contact with during this messy time of my life, only to be ignored, so now is the time to release them and let them go. If they are meant to be a part of my life, they will find a way to do so. I am ready to do that.
When we start fighting for a life filled with joy, interest, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow us to that place. I am ready! And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that we have to change who we are; it simply means that we have to let go of people who are not ready to be with us on this journey. If we are constantly being excluded, insulted, forgotten, or ignored by the people we give our time to, we are not doing ourselves any favours by continuing to offer them our energy and our lives.
For us to truly be happy and fulfilled, we must learn to let go of those who are not meant to be a part of our lives. We must come to terms with the fact that not everyone is meant to be in our corner, and that’s okay. It doesn’t diminish our worth or value as individuals. It simply means that they are not ready or deserving of our love and energy. They are not ready to face the changes that have occurred in my life and my mind, they are still stuck on the old me and how I used to be.
The truth is, we’re not for everybody, and everybody isn’t for us. And that’s what makes it so incredibly special when we do find those people who have a genuine friendship with us or reciprocate our love. We cherish these relationships because we have experienced what it’s like to have people who are not genuine or reciprocating in our lives.
We often get caught up in the idea that there are only a limited number of people who will truly understand and appreciate us. But the reality is that there are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will align with our level of interest and commitment. We just have to let go of the notion that we have to settle for anything less than we deserve.
Maybe if we stop showing up for those who don’t appreciate us, they won’t look for us. Maybe if we stop trying so hard, the relationship will naturally come to an end. Maybe if we stop texting, our phones will stay dark for weeks. But here’s the thing, that doesn’t mean that we’ve ruined the relationship. It simply means that the only thing sustaining it was the energy we were pouring into it.
And that’s not love, that’s attachment. We’ve been giving chances to those who don’t deserve them. We deserve so much more than that. The most valuable things we have in our lives are our time and energy, as both are limited. The people and things we choose to give our time and energy to will shape our existence.
When we realize this, we start to understand why we feel anxious when we spend time with people, engage in activities, or occupy spaces that don’t align with who we are and who we want to become. We begin to understand that the most important thing we can do for ourselves and those around us is to protect our energy more fiercely than anything else.
The activity that made my anxiety worse was trying to convince the members of the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario from 2017-2019 that I was not as portrayed in the contents of the many documents that they were sending almost daily and that later ended up on stellareddy.com, as that action didn’t align with who I am. Once I changed my mindset and made meaning of the toxicity I was feeling, I started feeling better. I changed my focus to myself and recovery, learning all I could about the many traits I was seeing, and my anxiety started going away.
It’s time to make our lives a safe haven, where only people who are truly compatible with us are allowed. We are not responsible for saving anyone; that burden is not ours to bear. We are not responsible for convincing others to do better or for existing solely to please and cater to people’s needs.
We deserve real friendships and true commitments. We deserve a love that is healthy and prosperous. And the decision to distance ourselves from toxic people will give us the love, esteem, happiness, and protection that we truly deserve.
So, let go of those who are not ready to love you. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Embrace the idea that not everyone is meant to be a part of your journey, and that’s okay. Choose to surround yourself with people who appreciate and value you. Choose to prioritize your time and energy for those who reciprocate your love and commitment.
Remember, letting go is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and self-respect. Trust that the universe will bring the right people into your life who will love and support you in the ways that you deserve. Keep your energy protected and create a life that is filled with genuine connections, happiness, and fulfillment.